How do I help a depressed man

[KSunshyne]

I have been dating a man who has depression. He's been going through an episode. He says he needs time to get a hold of thoughts constantly running in his brain. I don't know exactly what that means. How do you support someone when they're going through their depression, but they need space? I've been doing online research. I'm trying not to make it about me, but it leaves me uncertain as to what this means.

[bethelbee]

Have you asked him what he needs during this time? If he needs/wants space give it to him. Many of us don't want to be around others while depressed. Listen to him if he wants to vent. Just let him know you're there if he needs you. I found an article I'm going to send to a friend, "How to Support a Friend or Family Member With Their Mental Health". It's by Sahaj Kaur Kohli on IDEAS.TED.COM. NAMI and ADAA have information as well. But the above is a really good article.

[cbgrace1980]

Thank you for your good question. I think the best way to support someone who is depressed is to become extremely understanding in giving your significant other whatever they need. They may not be able to communicate exactly what they need if they don't know how to ask. It's also loving to encourage counseling for maybe both of you. It will help you be on the same page. Hugs to you.

[BB63]

Not knowing him and what he is going through it's hard to say, so please understand I could be way off base here or even totally wrong. But I have depression and sometimes it's severe, to the point I just want to lock myself away from everyone and everything. Like right now, I'm having a very difficult time and I don't want the people who care about me to see this. Men are taught to suck it up and not be weak, it's embarrassing to us and just makes us want to isolate. It shouldn't be that way, but unfortunately it can be hard for us to ask for help or to show that side of us. Some people get irritable or even angry, or at least I've read that that can happen. If you haven't already you could tell him that whatever he is going through, you are there for him. That you are concerned and just want to make sure he is ok. And if he's not ok, that's ok too and you just want to be there, good or bad. He might open up. Anyway, I'm no counselor so again, take what I'm saying with a grain of salt. I know that it's hard for people who haven't experienced the pain of depression to understand what's going on. So I definitely wouldn't put any blame on yourself, especially if you are trying to help. if he's not in counseling that's something you can suggest, and even try to find a good one that's recommended by someone you know or your family.