Staying in bed against better judgment and experience while everything else is getting MUCH better (+ description of ACT therapy)

[Eklektik]

Hello! I hope everyone is as well as can be under your circumstances.

Personally, I've been doing MUCH better lately. I can handle an increase in my work schedule (4 hours per day now). Not yet full time, but it's been getting better almost steadily. I've been able to go for walks AND ENJOY THEM! I've started to cook again. I'm breaking the habit of always being in front of my computer which is where I work, get the news, search info, watch tv, play games and eat. Now I eat at the table in the dining room, I go for walks, read in the living room paper books or books on my tablet. Me and my man friend do puzzles, play games. I readily wash dishes and do small household chores. I have much to celebrate as you can see. I'm having a pattern I've had often in depression : waking up is hell. Upon getting up and starting to do things, I get better quickly. And as the day advances, I get better and better. Starting somewhere between 2 and 5 PM and then in the evenings, I feel free of anxiety and depression. It seems to be a classic.

I attribute a lot, if not all, of this improvement to Action Commitment Therapy (ACT). Of course it advocates acceptance. Accept your thoughts, your feeling, your situation, no matter how hard. You don't fight with them as that just makes them worse. It requires practice and is sometimes scary, I don't reach it all the time, but I am getting better at it.

And then, with acceptance, there is this thing called defusion: you observe what you think or feel, with curiosity, make space for it, let it be. Even if you don't like it, you let it be. With ACT you progressively see that your thoughts and feelings are just that, and that they don't have to dictate your actions. Then there is this other thing called choice point. From an uncomfortable situation, you can decide to take action in a way that enhances your life despite the self-defeating thoughts, or you can give in the the self-defeating thoughts and take action that does not server your life values in the long run. For example, I'll feel tired and agoraphobic about going for a walk. I acknowledge that. From there, I can decide that I'll still go for a walk because in my life, I want to be able to get around, I used to enjoy mobility and want to take care of my body. Or instead of that, I can stay home, possibly crawl into bed, almost certainly feel hugely guilty which triggers anxiety. That option of course, is not viable in the long run. From there, you can choose the beneficial action. The painful thoughts and feeling might not go away, as that is not the main target of ACT. Rather, you can learn to live a life you find worthwhile despite the difficult thoughts and feeling, that in time, you will find less and less intrusive. Actually, you'll often get the bonus that the painful stuff does go away. It's been my experience lately.

I've been getting much better at taking actions that are workable in the long run, are more in tune with my values and if makes all the difference in the world. Remains a weird one. I used to oversleep to avoid life (11-12 hours per night and sometimes naps on to of that). Now I don't rush to bed at night to escape life and sleep 8-9 hours per night, which is reasonable. Unfortunately, a few hours before it is time to get up, I wake up to acute anxiety. Mercifully, I can go back to sleep. But when my alarm clock goes off in the morning I feel cozy in bed, and keep hitting the snooze bottom. Meanwhile, I start feeling guilty and anxious. I know perfectly well because I have experienced it so many times these days, that if I get up, the anxiety and depression will evaporate and I'll be able to go about my stuff. Yet, I stay in bed with the guilt and anxiety, in no way feeling cozy in bed anymore. If it was only during the work week, I could think I am avoiding work but it happens on weekends too. Actually, work is something that helps me get up. I don't understand why I do this. Despite aiming at self compassion, I hate myself for it .

I had problems making myself go take walks only as a behavioral therapy component. Now that I have linked it to wanting to get mobile again, I succeed in going for walks and actually enjoy them. I would like to find such a lever for getting up in the mornings. I'm open to suggestion.

I suppose the long post will discourage lots of reader, but I kind of needed to explain ACT not just for others but also for myself.

The best day possible to all of you!

[Hidden]

Hello! I quite enjoyed reading your post! I'm sometimes guilty of writing posts/replies the thickness of "Crime and Punishment l", so you're not alone.I am glad to hear you are doing much better!! That is awesome news!!!

Thank you for sharing about ACT.

[Eklektik in reply to Hidden]

Thanks! I do tend to write long messages. Sometimes, I write whatever comes out and then proceed to shorten my message. Today, I did not feel like doing that. I felt I needed that much space to make things clearer for myself and others. I know fewer people will read this long post, but so be it. Thanks for reading through! Be well

[Hidden in reply to Eklektik]

Thanks. You too!

[sarasmile77]

Thank you so much for posting this! <3

[samack]

Thanks for taking the time to explain ACT. That's quite an accomplishment when you can do things in spite of how you feel. You're ahead of the game.

[Eklektik in reply to samack]

I don't always succeed, but this morning, I did get out of bed! Thanks for your comment and be well samack !

[Hidden]

Thank you for sharing that with us, it sounds like you’re getting some good therapy that’s really helping you!

[Eklektik in reply to Hidden]

Yes! I even got out of bed this morning despite feeling it was beyond my capabilities and feeling anxious. I got better right away. Let's see now if I can apply the same principle for work today. More and more, I usually can. Thanks for your comment and have a nice day Hidden !

[designguy]

I found ACT therapy very helpful too and the whole idea that healing is through acceptance not resistance makes so much sense. Resistance and avoidance are what fuels the anxiety and depression. It's the same concept for healing anxiety by Dr. Claire Weekes and the DARE Anxiety book which has really helped me. For me, learning that when I am feeling resistance about something is a clue to be open and willing to investigate it and embrace.

Good for you for making progress.

[Eklektik in reply to designguy]

I read some of Claire Weeks and I think she was really a pioneer with the acceptance approach. I'll look into DARE eventually.. Thanks an have a great day!