Hello. I’m new here. Struggling with anxiety and depression. I have had a lot of losses (mom, dad, sister and brother) and I am very fearful of my own mortality and loosing someone else. I have a lot to be grateful for but can’t seem to shake the negative thoughts. Wake up fearful.
Thanks
In my 40s I lost my grandparents one by one. I know my parents are probably going to be next. I'm not sure what's going to happen to me when they're dead and gone. I'd like to hold on to the house , but I get so little money per month, I don't know anything about property taxes and I most likely wouldn't be able to pay them. The house is paid off so that's good. I bet what my sisters would want to do is sell the house, split the money between us and make me live in some crazy group home. No one cares about you if you have bipolar disorder. People would rather tear you down and look down their noses at you.
Understandable. Have lost a few family members too soon too.
The fear does fade with time.
I try not to look too far ahead.
Try to focus on the present.
Hi Serena,
I'm so sorry you feel that way, and that you can't move past this.
I'm 73, and I have ended up as the matriarch of my small clan, by attrition.
I know that I am looking down at the same fate as my relatives, but, apart from Taxes, it is the only certainty in our lives.
I'm not afraid of it, but I would prefer it to be painless and quick. I would not like to become a burden on my son, who is my carer. I take each day I am given as a bonus.
Have you seen your doctor about these feelings? Do you have any antidepressants?
It seems a shame that you seem to be stuck in this loop between fear and dread of what will be. To me it would seem to be a waste of what time you have left on this Earth. I am not a person of faith, but some folk are comforted by theirs, Maybe it could help you?
Cheers, Midori
Hi, I am in a similar situation. I am in remission from cancer. It will be 2 years in February. But I can relate to everything you wrote. I guess if I could put it in words. I can’t seem to get on with my future, when I’m not sure I will have a future. Like the little girl on the st Jude’s commercial says, the worst thing about cancer is knowing you have it, or something like that she says.
I know my worrying and anxiety about it won’t change it . I started and ran 3 small businesses before this, and I was stopped in my tracks and can’t get my life back. The chemo and surgery gave me ptsd.
Here are some things that help me. I start every morning with the Wim Hof guided breathing exercises free on you tube. 3 rounds of guided breathing. I do 2 rounds back to back. And I will do it again later in the day before a meal if I’m stressed. 30-45 minutes of daily cardio exercise, this seems to do something in my brain very calming. And here is one that sounds crazy but it’s a game changer. I do 10 minutes sitting in my 48 degree swimming pool. You can start with a 2 minute cold shower. 70 degrees is a good place to start. Catch water in a pan and measure the temperature. Then go down 2 degrees per week. And increase your time to 5 minutes by the end of the month.
i am very sorry to hear this. I know you have gone through a lot, but I must say you have to overcome this situation you have to beat this. Otherwise, it's getting worse day by day. you should take medical help like CBT( cognitive behavioral therapy/Counselling to overcome trauma). I am sure you will find it helpful as it worked for me a few years back. Please have a look at this ezcareclinic.com/methods-to... in case you need to know how to deal with your situation.
We are all here you can share your thoughts with us when ever you need emotional support.
Thank you. I am working with a therapist right now - trying EMDR
Anyone have one of these problems? 
Does anybody else have thoughts like this?
One of These Days 
I have to let myself be afraid….
