Break Up Being Alone

[Doc11764]

Hello Everyone ,

I'm new here and really just need support. I have been dealing with an unhappy / relationship for sometime now . It has been very rough to let go of ( toxic ) .

We finally ended it a month ago but I am still living here until the closing on a new house I bought . Closing is just a few weeks away .

My issue is I have severe anxiety about leaving the relationship . I am 57 and never really been alone. I was in a long marriage and then this recent relationship lasted 5 years . I think it's been more then 30 years since I have been single or alone.

I fought any medication through my counselor for weeks but finally decided I needed to take the edge off. My doctor started me on 10mg Lexapro yesterday. Of course now I have anxiety about starting meds.

I have not been sleeping well and know its the anxiety so I know the meds are necessary . I just am in multiple stresses. Living by myself, leaving the relationship, not sleeping, still living here for a few weeks and of course all the stress that goes into moving and buying a house.

I am a happy person but I think my main issue is being alone or living alone . Even though I was in a bad relationship I wasn't alone . Now I am faced with starting all over at my age and severe anxiety reared its ugly head .

Hard to talk to family , way harder to talk to her about this so I am reaching out here.

Thanks!

[Shnookie]

U R very brave coming on this web site. We R a supportive group where U can express your feelings freely. View this move into your new house a beginning a new chapter in your life. I lived with my mom in my current apartment from 1997 until she passed away from pancreatic cancer in January 2016. I was 57 at the time, and learned how to live alone. I would suggest to U to stay in touch with people who R close to U, stay on your meds, go on You Tube and learn how to meditate. U can journal your thoughts. I’m here 4 U. U can personally message me.

Hugs 🤗 S

[blueslite]

I had no idea you just got here. I understand your situation quite well -"Even though I was in a bad relationship I wasn't alone." My housemate and I had shared this house for 30 years but we didn't get along at all. He was someone I had known for 40 years and we thought it would benefit both of us to share the house. It's rented. But after a few years we began to dislike each other quite a bit. By the time he passed away we barely spoke to each other, he spent most of his time upstairs in his rooms. But afterwards I thought about it and and felt like living with a jerk was better than living alone. I understand your anxiety and the stress.

I deal with my panic attacks with herbal supplements, I don't take any medications for anything. Alternative remedies have worked well for me for about 25 years so I'll stick with that for as long as can.

I used to be a happy person too. I just liked to play and have fun, make my friends laugh and enjoy life. I think you'll find that people here are very easy to talk to, people that really do care about how you are and how you're feeling, no matter how bad it is. I'm happy to meet you.

[b1b1b1]

When you are used to living with someone else it can take a while to get used to living on your own. This is a big change for you, and like all changes, it takes time to adjust. I think it is similar to breaking any type of habit - difficult in the beginning, but getting easier as some time passes. Try to focus on and enjoy settling into your new house and decorating it just the way you want. Perhaps you will be able to plant a garden -- or get a dog. Your new living arrangement will bring new possibilities.

[Midori]

It is daunting after so long in relationships, but it is not a problem which cannot be overcome.

Firstly, have you got somewhere to go when the house is sold?

Get ahead with packing as far as possible, don't leave it to the last minute. Book your removal company early.

All these will help to ease your mind.

Cheers, Midori