Opinions needed

[BrownEyesBlue]

Should I feel as hurt and betrayed as I do, since my brothers attended my nephews gfs kids birthday party (my sister was there as well)?

That particular sister, her children and nephews gf have caused me to have my most recent depression episode and my anxiety is off the charts.

I feel I’m alone with absolutely no support.

[JPMcG]

Hi Brown Eyes-

Your feelings are facts, no doubt. Feelings are just as important as any piece of reality because feelings are facts in our own personal experience.

However, IMO, its not worth feeling hurt and betrayed based on your description of the situation. When rather, it’s more worthy to feel relieved that you didn’t have to attend a party pervaded by judgment and negativity. Even children’s parties can be extremely negative situations especially when the main subjects are models of manipulative, dysfunctional, hurting adults.

Now I don’t want to go on and on, especially since I’m typing on an iPad and IDK if you’ll even pick up on my two cents, but I wanted to redirect a statement in your description. In which, You state, “...XY & Z ‘have caused me to have my most recent depression and ...’”

Now this is not necessarily true because nobody can cause you to have depression, whereas only you, the sole individual, can ‘cause’ your own feelings, especially if feelings, are in fact, facts. You get to feel the facts, and only you get to experience your self and your emotions. No one other person can ‘make’ you feel depressed or anxious because it is the individual who controls their own state of mind and personal expression.

Whereas, for me, let’s say, I don’t get to say to someone I know or meet on the street, “oh the reason I am so unfriendly to you is because I don’t like the neighbors. If it weren’t for those damn neighbors I would be so much friendlier to you and everyone!” Well, no, that obviously cannot be true because clearly the strangers and people who live in my neighborhood cannot and do not control my life nor my friendliness factor as I exist independently in the world of free will and choice.

So what I’m trying to convey in conclusion Brown Eyes is don’t feel hurt and betrayed by the party because ultimately misery loves company; it really does. If they’re miserable, then they’ll only try to make you more miserable than they are anyway. By not inviting you to the party they think they’ll succeed in tearing you down to the low levels of misery and adversary. So if you can demonstrate that you’re well off and relieved to have been excused from miserable company, then it’ll leave them scratching their heads wondering, “Hmm.... I wonder what’s gotten into Brown Eyes? She seems so happy and independent since the party and her relationship with us has totally shifted.”

Ultimately, if you feel something and focus on it, then that’s what you’ll attract. So if you feel ‘alone’ and are constantly recycling alone over and over, then that’s what you get: alone. Shift happens, thoughts and feelings are allowed to pass. I go, “hmmm... I wonder why I am feeling that way?” I look at stimulus and then I move on to understand how to gain insight into shifting my feelings to support my self in a way that is beneficial for me in the end.

[BrownEyesBlue in reply to JPMcG]

Thanks for the reply.

I’m aware I’m in control of how I feel. Certain things contribute to my feelings though and in a way trigger men I cannot control that. I can tell my mind “I don’t care” but my mind doesn’t get it sometimes. I can be rational and logical but it still hurts. So I’m just suppose to fake it? These people hurt me. Deeply. And now it feels as though I am alone. And that sucks. I’m allowed to feel that way. To me they’re all traitors.

I wish it was as simple as you make it to be. I’m working really hard to change the voices in my head and to think positively. Sometimes it’s just hard.

Thank you though for your reply and for your opinion ♥️