Why can't I find love?

[milesmania121]

I'm 26 years old and still dating, and it's torture. I have friends that are either in relationships or married with families. Yet I can't shake the feeling of total hopelessness. Im sick of putting in the effort and paying for dinners only to be rejected or stabbed in the back.

[Nina2016]

I feel ya. I’m 44 and alone. I don’t like dating apps. I’m picky. I’m smart successful and attractive. It’s not me. It’s not necessarily them. It’s the cards I’ve been dealt I suppose.

For me, I find it’s important not to try hard to make that connection. If it comes it will come. I do what I love. That is where I have and will find connection. Going out looking is for the birds in my opinion.

Friends and family keep me connected. If no love I love myself and the better for it. Remembering that not every couple is sunshine and rainbows but that it’s work and sometimes hard work keeps me on keel.

Know there is nothing wrong with being single. You have all your life to find the right connection And a less than fantastic connection isn’t worth it to me to simply feel socially ok or connected to people and I know for a fact even with someone in my life as a partner I’ve felt incredibly lonely despite living with that someone.

You are fabulous. All by yourself. I believe we all find the people are supposed to at the time we ought. Take heart ❤️ be your lovely self and all will be well for you!!!!

[Midori]

Do you send out 'desperate' vibes? can make things more difficult.

I'm guessing you are male as you talk about paying out for dinners.

How do you meet folk? online or in person? From what I see and hear, online is the most common but also the most problematic, often with fake info or photos.

Do you get out much? What interests do you have? Find someone with similar interests and you are already partway there.

If you are into sport and she isn't, not so good.

What do you look for in a girl? Looks, or intelligence? For me, intelligence is the first thing I would look for, but if she is also good looking, great!

All these things need considering before you jump in.

I would suggest ditching the dinners, and opt for coffee dates to start with. If she is interested in you she will be happy with that to start. Many genuine ladies would prefer to start with a less formal first meeting.

Cheers, Midori