Well another day of endless depression & misery, I wish dearly I could be happy like others & i've even felt a bit happy making others feel better on here but then that same old friend (depression) comes back & settles in my head, then the questions, why did my ex leave me? Is it because I didn't provide enough for her? Did I fail her like I did everyone else? Should I have done more? Then the constant degradement of well I clearly wasn't good enough, I am a failure because I didn't provide enough for her, & then just regret over my life, I mean man why was I born if life had the only clear sole intention or purpose of afflicting me with misery? Why?? It gave ma taste of happiness & being normal then it ripped it from me & shattered my very foundation in the process. I just wish my ex would talk to me & treat me like a human being & not like i'm some enemy, I have always treated her with utter kindness & yet she told me the other day she was glad she broke up with me that it was "good" for her because her friends said so, but well that's how life goes right? You let someone in for the first time & they take you, turn you around, & then stab a knife in your back. Well I hope everyone else has been having better luck than me. Have a good night & thank you for reading my nonsense! 
Why can't I be happy like others? - Anxiety and Depre...
Why can't I be happy like others?
The pain you're experiencing is real and not nonsense. I'm very sorry about it, and I hope you feel a little better after getting it all out on this forum.
thank you! It feels good to know my pain is at least acknowledged as real by someone & I do feel a bit better after venting, still feel that sadness & depression but it feels more manageable after venting
It would be a good idea to get some therapy to work through all this, too.
I am but it's a bit hard given my financial situation you know? The irony being that's exactly why my ex left me, unfortunately until I get my computer science degree i'm stuck surviving on whatever I can scrap from my financial aid, ROTC "allowance" & my meager job at 7/11 but thanks for the suggestion!
If she’s glad u guys broke up you should be too because no offense but she’s obviously not worth your time, she was never fully invested in a real relationship, also most girls who only listen to their friends have a lot of self searching left to do and maybe that’s what she’s going to do, especially after she realizes that she lost a really wonderful and big hearted person(you). Just try to go a little easier on yourself and try not to put yourself on such a High pedal stool because then in your eyes, you’ll never be good enough for anyone.
That's the hardest part, convincing myself she isn't worth my time, it's hard to go from caring about someone so deeply you literally would go through anything for them to just shutting them out you know? I wish she could see how much I cared for her perhaps that would change her mind but too late now 
& I do but i've always been a very cynical & low self-esteem person due to experiences from childhood, but I do understand what your saying & I will try nonetheless! Thank you very much for responding it honest to god means a lot to me
I know you can't just go from loving someone to completely forgetting about them overnight. It's not like flicking a light switch. But I think sparkle is right.
Well when you put it like that it does seem more appropriate perhaps then just one day at a time I can feel better in the future but right now its hard to see that light but just that sparkle can grow
Actually, when I said "sparkle", I meant the comments of sparkle314 on this post.
But anyhow, I wish you the best of luck.
Oh lmao wow well at least I found positive perception of it & thank you!
I completely understand bc my sisters in your same position right now, it’s going to be hard and it may take longer than you’d like, but one day you’ll realize that you are good enough and if anyone doesn’t see that then you know they’re not good for you. It’s a big blow to the self esteem and it makes you feel worthless but you are not at all. You are worth something to all the people you reply to on here and even the ppl u talk to for one second in a day, who knows, maybe you’ve saved someone’s life without even knowing! Sorry I’m rambling but idek you and I care abt u and I just want to help u as best as I can lol. I know this all hurts right now but it gets better right? Besides in the end, all you really have is you and it’s better to love you for who you are and keep getting better than it is to doubt everything you do and stop doing those things all together.
I’m kind of being a hypocrite w/ the pedal stool thing bc I do it too and it’s hard not to when you care so much about someone. It’s especially hard when you put so much pressure on yourself to do all these things and it’s like what was this all for? Why should I ever try again? But don’t let that stop you bc hopefully one day someone will appreciate how high you are on that pedal stool and they will be standing right beside you.
Hopefully that one day will come soon! That really does lift my spirits to know that I matter to people even if there online It's okay to ramble I do it a lot too lmao, & wow thank you so much for caring I mean it yeah it will continue to get better! & it's okay about the hypocrite thing lol but yeah hopefully one day I can provide that same happiness & kindness to someone who will recognize me for it thank you so much you have made my night miss!
You're always welcome to vent here when you need to. It sounds like you have a lot going for you, so keep moving forward!
That is what makes this place so wonderful! the ability to jsut vent on here at any given time, & thanks I will! again I appreciate immensely you helping me!
Hi Dragon, try not to be so hard on yourself. It seems your self esteem has dropped a lot as you keep beating yourself up thinking you are not good enough. Try to look at it that she did you a favour because her attitude is horrible. To say she is glad she broke up with you and to go on with her life not giving a hoot about how you feel shows you she didn't really care much about you in the first place. You certainly are not a failure as things happen beyond our control which doesn't make us a failure it shows us that we are string and can pick ourselves back up and get on with things. Stay strong. Hope you feel better soon xx
I will certainly try not to be! indeed that is one of the main sources of my low self esteem my constant degradation of myself, in some aspects that is true because I mean I don't have to take the degradation of her or her friends anymore but she did show me kindness in the relative beginning of our relationship, unfortunately that changed but thank you for your kind words! They do mean a lot to me!
Hope you rebuild and move on to find someone who will treat you right
Thank you! I hope so too!
I'm very sorry your hurting, and I understand that feeling of 'why me', why was I born this way, I never seemed to be able to enjoy life to the extent of other people around me. Your not alone with that feeling. For some it's a temporary depression, for others It's just a chemical thing we were born with, and we either fix it, or it just keeps us mostly unhappy. As far as your ex-, please forgive me for asking this, but if she treated you badly, and doesn't want anything to do with you...why would you want her back. I understand not being alone, and having someone in your life. But I think your wanting something that may not be there for you...you deserve someone who loves you.....unfortunately from what your saying...I don't think she is the right person for you, it has to be mutual. She is moving on and you are stuck with the fantasy of what you wanted in a relationship. Life is just not fair sometimes and for those of us with un-treated or even treated depression, it is incredibly hard to deal with loss. I went to therapy to learn to deal with depression, grief, loss, and learning to let go. I also started taking antidepressants, they work for me but are not for everyone. You did say you felt a bit better when you were helping others here, it might be an idea to do voluntary work where you could have that feeling while maybe going to some therapy and help get sorted out with dealing with grief and loss.
Yeah I think it's something perhaps chemically inclined for I just cannot seem to make myself happy on my own I always find some way to be negative & depressed unfortunately :(, & it's okay but honestly it's because she was literally the first women to ever show me kindness, every other girl i've ever felt a slight attraction to has not in the slightest been attracted to me so thus when she, a girl who was so perfect in my mind, was actually attracted to me I couldn't help but feel an immediate bond & complete adoration & love for her. Indeed she is moving on quickly I believe she's already found someone else as she hasn't texted me or checked on me at all i've never been good at loss & this has completely shattered me with her I was doing better & my depression was actually improving but now I feel like i've lost years of progress.... i've been going to therapy & it's been helping but my depression always lingers no matter how much I try to rid myself of it. I have been trying to open up my schedule so I could begin doing voluntary work thank you for the suggestions I will consider them
I am so sorry you're feeling this way. It is such an awful feeling. You wish you could just snap your fingers and it all go away. Hang in there, better days do come and we have to hold on to the fact that there are better days. I know it's hard, so so hard but you can do this and get through it.
Thank you for the kind words indeed it is an awful feeling I would not wish upon anyone, hoping those better days do come so I can get through this
Keep your head held high. Positive thoughts. You are amazing. You are worth so much more than the way she treated you. You have to accept that some people are just COLD. It dosent matter how good you are to them. But as long as you understand the problem lies with them and not you, you'll be okay. Continue to vent. Talk it over with close ones or us. We are all strangers as in we've never physically met, however we all share the burden of those monsters on our backs (anxiety, depression). We get it. We get you.. we're here to help.. feel better and many hugs 🤗🤗😇📿
Thank you also for your inspiring & wonderful words miss I love venting on here it feels amazing to be able to do it, indeed we are all strangers but yet are so linked through our struggles I hope to feel better but your post has indeed made me feel a bit better
So glad I could a help a little! Always hear if you need to vent. 🤗🤗😇
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