death of a parent

[drummerboy1]

my mom is 90 and has been thru cancer/back surgery and the loss of my father who was in perfect health.i find myself being hit with dark thoughts about my mother dying b4 the end of 2021.she is very sharp mentally/just beaten down physically/i pray for her/my family and my extended family and friends every morning....my mom has been my rock thru the last 23 years of my mental health struggles.....i wont have that when she goes to be with GOD.....why am i thinking such a dark/evil thought the past few weeks/i have no evidence that she is sick or ailing.......

[Arymretep]

Hi, it’s such a hard thing when we lose our parents, I lost my Dad many years ago quite young, and my Mum lived for many years after, she was my rock too, I cared for her as in the end she had dementia, my advice is not to think of the future and try and make her remaining days the best you can, the two of you together, then you will have no regrets afterwards, take care

Life is a journey , not a destination ☺️

[drummerboy1 in reply to Arymretep]

that is very good advice/I thank you for your thoughts/DS

[designguy]

I think it's like having anticipatory anxiety thoughts, you know that your Mom is going to die, it's just a matter of when, so your mind thinks of the worst that could happen. We as humans are not good with ambiguity and our thoughts tend to be negative not positive much of the time. Your Mom is very much on your mind anyway so it's only natural that you are going to dwell on it. When we become aware of our thoughts we realize how negative and dark they are at times, it's just part of being human, we all have them, especially when we are stressed. Your stressful thoughts can also be your mind distracting you from your emotions and even in anticipation of the emotions you are going to go through with the loss of your mom. It's a way of coping. Try to remain present and enjoy your Mom as much as you can for as long as you can, that is what life is all about.