Question for you all

Do you believe the relationship you have with your family specifically your parents determines the relationships the you have with others in your life?

[chickenmom99]

I think in some form, absolutely! I have noticed this in myself and some friends that I am close with, the relationship you have with your parents is one of the first relationships you form in life. The way that these relationships form whether it is healthy or not seems to set the guidelines for a lot of future relationships and the way that we act within them. We can unknowingly take on the same traits we see from our parents and, we see how our parents interact with each other and in different relationships and we can follow with what they do because it is all we know. This I believe can start at a very young age and continue into late adult years without noticing. I notice myself more and more often acting the way my parents act in their relationships. It is actually one of the issues that causes a lot of mental trauma for me. You can find a lot of articles on healing your inner child and it really helps you realize that a lot of your tendencies can sprout from how you are treated by your parents. It is a rather interesting subject to read on actually.

[Agora1 in reply to chickenmom99]

I so agree with your response chickenmom. xx

[Hidden in reply to chickenmom99]

I agree with you

[Hidden in reply to chickenmom99]

I agree super interesting topic. Our body is like a huge memory of what we’ve grown up with it seems 🤔 thank you chickenmom

[Hidden]

Dear WilsGo,No, Because my Parents have been dead for 15, and 20 years, Respectfully

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your response I appreciate your input because it’s one that not everyone can say they had to deal with. Do you feel as if their absence tho, has affected your more personal relationships or no on that as well?

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I was almost 16 when my father passed. At 22 My Mom died, an unfortunate death from a car accident. My Mom died in my lap. So, Yes! It has affected all of my relationships, I see my Moms kindness in friends, when I say I love someone I really mean it. these things that happen, are beyond my control, and I've learned to love before its too late. Every Hippy song that comes on I sing just like my Mom in the car. Gotta love to be free. even if it is chaos

[Midori]

In your formative years, definitely! As you get to school and encounter others, teachers, other pupils, yes, but to a lesser extent. Your religious teachings are also a factor.

As you grow up and encounter other folk, you should be able to filter your childhood beliefs and attitudes against what you have learned from family, and enable you to form your own opinions, and ultimately make your own choices.

A family is a mini tribe, with it's own customs and culture, which is why you may find someone else's family customs slightly strange.

Relationships can alter, depending on how strict your parents and religion were/are.

My personal belief is that our parents and their religion guide us towards becoming a good, moral, rounded person. but you must filter what you have been taught with general world knowledge and make your own choices, because a family and upbringing are only a microcosm of the real world you will eventually live in.

Cheers, Midori

[Roxylox in reply to Midori]

Great reply there Midori, would agree

[Hidden in reply to Midori]

You put it so well Mindori! Truly! Great response

[Married1978]

I believe it your partner does not get along with their parents it can be a wake up call. Is this person mature enough to speak to his parents as an adult? I may not have always agreed with my parents, but I always treated them with respect. I don't think I'd want someone who hasn't been able to make peace with their own family (barring unusual circumstances), how will he handle a disagreement with me in the future.

[Hidden in reply to Married1978]

Although I was looking for everybody’s opinion and answers I think this answer was I was really anticipating for. I asked because my sister doesn’t talk to me or my mom and resents my dad although in my own opinion she was treated really well. The little time she makes for us (very rare) she always starts a fight because she didn’t feel like she was included yet she makes no effort. I was wondering what the reason of her unhappiness was and maybe if it was because she can’t even see when she’s wrong or appreciate the one parent she has left. Sorry for my vent. I think your answer is true and it’s a huge red flag for me as well. Well said thank you for your input on this.

[Lefty_Epee]

Parents in some cases directly influence who you do and do not talk to, they influence the way you form relationships, and they influence the type of people you interact with. In measures of rebellion, people will go out of their way to break norms and do the opposite. My parent's are rather controlling so I try to not interact with them and not allow them to influence me. They've made me antisocial, because I was never allowed to see other kids outside of school pretty much. They've made me paranoid by using fear mongering about the world which has caused my anxiety condition. So yeah, they influence you alright.

[Hidden in reply to Lefty_Epee]

I agree with you and can relate with you so much on this lefty_epee. Especially when you say that how they treated you can cause you to become enclosed to others. Thank you for this response. I think what I’m really curious to know is that do you feel like your relationships with others would improve if your relationship with your parents did? Even if there’s some resentment there. (Not saying there is) just would like to know. 😳

[Hidden]

Twisted. But some people are more unaware than some of us on here. Unaware of how much our family relationship may affect other relationships in our lives.

[Married1978]

As a parent with adult children I can't imagine what it would be like not to see them. Some of their friends don't see parents. So sad, but there are those relationships that are just toxic. Not every parent is good,or involved in their children's lives as they should be. Some are addicts, for abusers, etc. In those cases you may have to walk away. In light of the dysfunction, I would definitely consider parenting classes before you have your own

[Hb2003]

I think so but sometimes parents / family members aren’t always right it depends on the situation your in

[Hells18]

It makes me want to be a better person and try harder as a mum to be the best I possibly can. Xx

[Hidden]

You can take your cupcake ass down frosting mountain. again. Alls You do is good vibes and thanks for sharing..I Share and am shot down. THEN......AND THEN INSULTED for my German hertiage, im half German. What follows is your direct quote"Kinda diluted if one thinks that parents have absolutely nothing to do with future relationships. It’s kinda like the people in Germany who believe individualism is the way all people should be. It is the most vile and utterly flawed philosophy of thought.

You.. ive got enough to deal with, I know Im German, I know what happened, I've been through enough, without taking SH*T from you about it.

I encourage all new members to quit this group now.

Its B*llShit.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Woah woah I didn’t mean it like that at all and maybe I will leave if it’s causing this much offense to somebody. I deeply apologize I just try to understand everyone’s view. That’s all. Good luck to you and I hope you understand someday that people have their own opinions on thing and it’s not a bad intention. I wish nothing but the best for you and I’m sorry again. That was wrong of me

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Also I strongly hope new members don’t get discourage by her everyone deserves to be here as much as her. Maybe I don’t but I have support else where not every does.