What's wrong with me that I can't have a normal mom but always control every single thing I do, including taking a shower or bath?

Always argue. My mum always makes excuses and always tries to put the blame on me that i can't wash my hair in the bath. . yet my mum is one that does every single. control my dating life as well. control time for me having a bath or shower. I am also aggressive with her and rude. never one see her again. my mum is very strubblon that come to me and yet is fine for my one older sister have shower time by her self and always well with my yonger sister is fine with shower with herself. I am always felt like a teenage around my mum and she never seem to change. never give me attention at. just ignores. even know i shout at the top of my lunge and still end pissed. I just want to be leave alone. yet she never levee me alone unless i am only in my bedroom but they never enough time. i that i tried to get more privet time by going to toilet later then anybody

[Midori]

Hi there,

There is absolutely no reason for your Mum to act like this, unless you have an illness that could make you a danger to yourself. You are legally an adult.

[Hidden in reply to Midori]

Despite my mild learning disability, I am already starting to hate it. Due to the fact that my mother brings it up all the time, I don't want to discuss it. The difficulty of dating folks with learning disabilities upsets me.

[Rick1on1]

There is obviously some underlying reason why your mother is over-bearing with you. I would suggest that you tackle this in a few steps:

- first try and be as accommodating as your patience allows. you cant fight fire with fire, so be the water. push away your anger and frustration.

- after a few days/weeks if things get better, sit her down to talk and find out why she is like this with you. you might be surprised by her reasons.

good luck!

[Hidden in reply to Rick1on1]

Talking to me never gets me anywhere. It doesn't matter how calm I am. she insists she has her way .

[Rick1on1 in reply to Hidden]

Does she gives reasons for her behaviour?

[Hidden in reply to Rick1on1]

I'm not sure. I have a learning disability that I'm starting to hate. She also controls my dating life and my relationship with only learning disabity men

[Midori in reply to Hidden]

That seems wrong to me. Why would she insist you only date others with learning disabilities? Seems really odd to me.

Do you have to live at home? Could you manage on your own?

I get the feeling that you resent her hyper- attention to you, and her attitude seems a little strange to me.

Can you work? Get a job? Or is your learning difficulty too bad? If not too bad, you could try to get a job and show her that her fears for you are unfounded.

[Hidden in reply to Midori]

Volunteering is the only job. Yes, I need a caregiver or I cannot live on my own. My bedroom is my favourite place to spend the majority of my free time, since I don't feel like leaving very often. Too much attention is never good attention. I just want to be left alone without my mum bothering . I had a toxic job that also a vontering

[Midori in reply to Hidden]

Ah, I see. It changes thing in my mind then. The way you write is so clear to me (and I have a son with a learning difficulty) that I assumed you were fully capable other than your learning difficulty.

My son actually acts as my carer, so it's a bit of turn around from your situation, but I'm 73 and long retired.

I hope you can get your Mum to see that you are more capable than she thinks.

Cheers, Midori

[Hidden in reply to Midori]

Don't you get the difference? Learning difficulty is not the same thing as learning disability. I use a grammar tool called wordtune to make sure my typing is clear. It is only my dad who thinks that way and he understands. However, he did not really support me with my mum's issuse always seemed like this to me. My mum is ok with my older sister and younger there fine by self . Going out anywhere she acts like a normal mum .

[Midori in reply to Hidden]

Ah, that explains why you write so clearly. My son never got aids to help him cope with his learning difficulty, so I can only judge by his experiences. I have to write his letters for him.

I'm glad you have the tools to help you.

I didn't mean to upset you in any way, I was just trying to understand.

Cheers, Midori

[Hidden in reply to Midori]

Only problem I have is that I'd like to have a boyfriend, but my parents only allow me to date men with learning disabilities. My mother has put in a rule for me never dating or being in a relationship with mainstream men and I don't want that to change. She will always tell me no if we are talking about mainstream men and that she has the right to say no. Whenever I am in a relationship, she is even worse than before. As a result of an ex who was a toxic boyfriend, another ex who was a cheater tried to ask me out on Instagram again.

[Midori]

Hmmm, I still wonder why your Mum is apparently so overprotective, and makes these restrictive rules for you. As far as I know there is no reason for a lass with a learning difficulty not to go out with a regular boy.

I used to work at a village called Enham Alamein, near Andover in Hampshire, where all the residents are disabled, mainly physically and some with learning or other mental difficulties.

My children were brought up with them, and are still friends with several. I still keep in touch with some of them too.

Cheers, Midori