“It gets better” is just temporary...

[eega07]

Hey there,

So I know I’m not alone with this feeling but I wanted to see what people had to say. (Please no “trust me it gets better” comments Thx)

You know how you go through phases where your depression is at its all time worst and life feels just completely and utterly pointless, and then you can of go up for a while and think “Okay maybe things are going to get better and stay better now” but no matter the changes you made or progress those depressive periods come back.

It almost feels like all my progress is never true progress. It also makes me feel even more like “what’s the point” when I still have to live life going through such deep dark periods.

I know things get better, but what I’m saying is for how long? When’s the shoe going to drop and things are going to get worse again. Anyone else feel this way, and how do you get through it?

[Lefty_Epee]

I completely understand that. I too go through the same thing. At this point I've just accepted that life is going to suck a lot. But I do know that it's not permanent. That there are good things to look forward to and to experience still. At times it certainly doesn't feel that way, but we need that desperate hope sometimes. I do wish you happiness, however brief it may be.

[Zimarra]

I feel the same as you . It just feels all hopeless at times. I want to go back to having more manageable symptoms -sigh . We got this though, somehow

[blue_rose]

I feel this way too. I basically live in hopes for the good moments when they might happen but I have been so disappointed so often that I try not to even hope for them. When I wake up in the morning I often wonder what kind of day is it going to be, and who/what might ruin it. I am tired of positivity tropes too.

Nobody consciously chooses to feel hopeless/despair/anxious, I don’t believe. What helps me currently is allowing myself to be distracted by small things like a TV show, but sometimes the psychic pain is so bad I can’t even do that. I try to avoid social media/news too when I’m feeling down because I often get emotionally dysregulated by them. Sometimes I turn off my cell phone so I don’t get any alerts.

I count down the hours to my daily antidepressant/anti-anxiety medication time so that I can get a little respite from the sickening pain of dark times. I don’t care what people claim about doing this or that to feel better when I’m really struggling. Well-meaning but misguided advice makes me feel even worse because then I am back to blaming myself for not doing or being enough to feel better. I don’t think we humans live in a mentally healthy culture/society and it affects many people negatively.

But to stay on point here, I just want to be heard and seen in my suffering. I think being validated in one’s pain and allowing ourselves to cry it out can be helpful. Being held by someone you trust and can feel emotionally safe with is helpful too, I think.

[burtongal]

i understand you , i have periods of being on a even keel of thinking oh life aint that bad , then boom i hit rock bottom and think oh my here we go again , i get dark thoughts think life aint worth being here , i have no family or freinds support as they have slowly but surely tapered away since my brain injury which brought out my mental health issues which i could hide before but since my operations i have spiralled so they avoid me as im not the funny happy go lucky person i once was , i suppose i should be greatful i now no who my true friends are lol which is noone , im waiting to get help but im not holding breath lol hugs for you hun x

[Married1978]

I'm sorry you are so depressed. I have felt suicidal. I kept getting the feeling of being in a giant hole and Everytime I start to climb out, someone or something would push me deeper into the hole. I got tired of reading suicide was a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I now know that's true but it doesn't mean I won't fall into that hole again. Crying, hiding in bed. I couldn't go outside because I truly believed everyone we watching and judging. I thought people would see my insanity if they looked into my eyes.I am doing better now. I learned a lot at one hospital about challenging my thoughts. Realizing that by writing the thought down and then examining

The other possibilitiy that I am misreading what other people meant.

I certainly am not an expert. I can only say how it felt to me. I have a therapist who taught me about challenging my thoughts, looking at what might be another explanation. It's easy for me to jump to conclusions

I live in rural area that has no mental health groups. I imagine if I could to see others and hear how they dealt with it. Iam s

I am sure would be nice to go to a group for ideas. Maybe there's one in your area.

I can't say enough about how helpful a therapist can be. Challenging your thoughts is part of cognitive behavior therapy

Antidepressants can also help. I wish you peace

[Blueruth]

Life lessons are evolving. Always. So if you come out of a down period with some new insights you are indeed better. Perhaps you sought therapy to better understand the trauma that impacts you or maybe you learned some life skills to be more resilient. That in no way means forever. It is hard to know how you would sink again. If you waiting for it to “end” I would encourage you to use the time to do something as simple as going inward. Perhaps take up some art.