Thinking about what was and what is

[Stephanie89]

I can’t help but to think how did this all start and am I losing my mind is this all in my head or something more serious going on with my body it’s like I went from one day having a normal life doing the things I enjoyed working and driving and enjoying life with my kids to one day feeling like everything is caving in on my and I’m slowly drowning so desperately yelling asking for someone to pull me out but no where hears me no one feel what I feel they see me on the outside and wonder is this all for show is this all for attention when inside on my worst days I feel my body like jelly and I have no control over it I feel numb tingly sometimes I’m screaming just stop just stop please wirh tears down my eyes and I’m thinking to myself how did this happen asking myself while I look in the mirror who are you and sometimes I can’t answer because I lost who I am no one knows the battles i face everyday to feel the way i do i want so desperately to have my life back i have faith I have hope that my prayers will be answered I know I am strong for dealing with this but then why do I feel so weak sometimes I tell myself enough I can’t do it but then whatever I have left in me I manage to pull all the courage i have to pull through another day I want to work again to drive again I want to know what it feels like to go about ur day with no pain or symptoms without having to think what if this happens what if I die what if everyone sees me what if I start to panic where are my way out I want to know what it feels like to enjoy life with no worries no what ifs just the simple bliss of life

[dbeck128]

Please please know YOU are worth it and you are NOT alone. I used to feel the same way, daily.

I'm still not completely recovered, but I've made so much progress! Please, get help. And if you think the help you're getting isn't good enough, reach out to other outlets. You're so strong. I cant see through your post you are such an inspiration. You can tell you're so mature. If you ever need anything I am here.

I've went from being convinced I was crazy and on the brink of insanity, to having a bad week here or there but NOTHING like it was.... stay strong ❤someone out there needs you

[Stephanie89 in reply to dbeck128]

Thank you so much ❤️

It’s so hard to deal with this and sometimes have people say I just want attention or say I’m not that bad cuz I wear a little make up and do my hair just so I feel a little “normal” I would never wish this on anyone and definitely wouldn’t be doing this for attention

I made some progress I’m no where near how horrible I was before but I seem i can’t get the fear of death out of my mind and me feeling like I’m going crazy

Thank you much for this I’m staying strong for me and my kids I want to be an even better mother then I was before ❤️

[Hidden in reply to Stephanie89]

Well I can tell you that you are not alone. I am 61 and was once very normal. Overnight I went from ‘normal’ to not so normal. I did suffer a trauma so I do know the reason, however it really thinks going from normal to not normal. I have tried meds and they made me feel worse. I suggest you talk to your doctor. Unless something happened to you, you might simply have a hormonal imbalance. I wish you luck.

[Stephanie89 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you

I know I have small tumor on my adrenal glands and idk if it’s causing all this but I will find out soon if it’s cancerous or not

I know a lot of stuff in my life changed around the time this happened to me I’m hoping to gain my life back it’s so hard to be like this

[SocialAnxietyBlue]

I felt your post In my core. I really hope it gets better! I myself have stopped going to social outings because I get so uncomfortable. I just started a new job and had a panic attack. I look in the mirror and don’t recognize myself. these internal demons affect every aspect of our lives. You’re a beautiful woman and coming from a woman, I’ll keep you in my prayers. Stay positive

[stayhumble]

That is exactly how i feel i wonder what it is like to feel normal again... its like your trapped in your own prison and your mind is a prison and you lost the key and watching everyone else enjoy life as life passes you buy and your just asking why me why me... i struggle bad with anxiety and constant worry im here to chat

[Stephanie89 in reply to stayhumble]

Yes I am here to say it does get better day by day min by min i look back and I read this and I don’t recognize that person that was like this I am still with anxiety but not so bad and horrible and I am looking forward to better days and I know better days will come to you 💜