College isn't what I expected it to be - Anxiety and Depre...

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College isn't what I expected it to be

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I expected it to be good. I expected to have friends by now, but the only people I know are my suitemates and I can't consider them friends. I expected to have an on-campus job by now, but I don't. Maybe I should just apply to summer jobs because the homework load stinks! I hardly have time for anything else, not even studytime! I still haven't had the time to go to the counseling center for mental health support, student organizations have started but I don't have time to go, and I barely even have time to work on creativity stuff. (I could take a day off to do no homework, but then I'd have to do more of it the next day.) They say make sure to schedule time out for yourself, but how can I do that when there is so much homework? Especially when I still haven't recovered from that time I burnt out near the end of Junior year of high school thanks to the stupid pandemic. And I have a scholarship that my school can easily take away as soon as my GPA drops below a certain level.

I should have done a gap year, to get a chance to live without school for a year. But then I would have had to go back home to my toxic family every night. So that wasn't an option. My other option is to drop out, but then I'll never find a good, high-paying computer science job. So pretty much my only option is to endure the pain of college for 5 years.

😭😭😭

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12 Replies
hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54

Hi I thought you could take a gap year during your course? It might be a good idea to look into this.

in reply to hypercat54

I probably could, but then I'd have to deal with my toxic family every day. I got enough of that during lockdown.

Lefty_Epee profile image
Lefty_Epee

I'm in the same boat as you. After my mental health intervention senior year, my grades divebombed and I barely brought them back up to decent. Now my only friends here in college are my suitemates, I have no time to relax and unwind. In order to do anything remotely entertaining I have to push homework off to another day or bs it. Toxic family so I hate going home. Plus I don't have the financial resources to take a gap year so I'm thinking of switching to a really cheap college to get my degree because it's killing my bank account.

Midori profile image
Midori

Is there a less important subject you could drop?

in reply to Midori

I'm currently taking the minimum amount of credit hours required to be a full-time student, so I can't really drop anything.

Redfox9 profile image
Redfox9

It can be hard to manage time, try to do one thing at a time. You will make friends don’t worry, and as a computer science professional i can help you sort out few things if you want. Hopefully everything will be fine. :)

Mewish profile image
Mewish

Hang in there, maybe find a good therapist, find away to make time for yourself.. U have a bright future...

Blueruth profile image
Blueruth

That sounds so dramatic! What about a gap year and travel. Or an exchange? Or go to a sister college in another country. There are ways to travel that are not expensive. For instance if you have experience with a pet you might house sit. Or teach English in Japan. Or online anywhere. Maybe not this year but you could plan ahead and that would be something to look forward to .

sunshineshack profile image
sunshineshack

I feel you, I just started my second yr of college and this is exactly how I feel right now too. I have been so overwhelmed with homework, it genuinely feels like there is no room in my life for anything else. I spent the last 2 months of my freshman year getting 3 hrs of sleep everyday because my GPA had gone down and I didn't want to lose my scholarship. I've thought about leaving this school/transferring to a less harsh program, but I'm still not sure if that's the move. Workload is still a struggle, but the worst is finally behind me because I have been reading about productivity and learning about what academic methods work best for me. Sophomore year started and I was able to get 7-8 hours of sleep per day, make/eat 3 meals per day, and have time for myself, clubs, or friends. My habits are still far from perfect, but here are some tips I have found that help with the workload:

- Use a journal or white board to write a schedule. Avoid writing to-do lists!! Write a SCHEDULE instead

- Use a timer or productivity app- I use Flora, which is incredibly helpful for keeping you on task within a set time frame. I seriously recommend!

- Take one or two credit based classes at a local college over the summer so that you have more time and less homework during the school year.. it helps so much.

- There are many books out there on productivity advice- they might be more helpful than you know! I have ADD, and the book "ADD-friendly ways to organize your life" has been excellent.

- Reward yourself for your progress. Even if it's a small/mental reward, it can help with motivation and can make homework fun!

- Join a study group or do homework with a study buddy- having company might help keep you motivated and this might be a great opportunity to try to make friends😀

- Maybe try integrating a routine of going to the library or a cafe for a certain time each day. It will keep you focused, and give you a deadline to finish x amount of work before you leave. Going out will also give you opportunity to meet new people!

- Remember that progress is not linear. It will be hard but you got this.

I hate when colleges overwork students.. Work-life balance can be so difficult, but things will get better if you put your mind to it. Things might suck right now but keep your head up and focus on what you can control. With hard work and determination you might just find that you're already on the right track to a better college life!!

in reply to sunshineshack

Wow, thanks for providing these tips! However, many times when I write a schedule, I don't stick to it.I also hate it when colleges overwork students. It's difficult to actually learn anything when I'm constantly overwhelmed.

sunshineshack profile image
sunshineshack in reply to

Absolutely, it makes me so frustrated. Its also difficult to enjoy what you're learning because you are so stressed about the deadlines and stuff. And don't worry, almost every single time I write a schedule I don't stick to it either. But I find that I always do better when I write a schedule rather than if I don't at all.

Kainan profile image
Kainan

If you can’t make any changes or move away from the situation, then the only thing left is to stay the course. But it’s important to not let a struggle turn into suffering. That is not worth it

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