I have accepted today that I can no longer feel like before. Not only I have changed because of this people too have changed. I feel no comfort in this life, no love from anywhere, I've lost all my friends, ghosted my ex, I feel isolated and not belonged.
I have lost all my confidence, I've become clumsy, overly conscious and a self loathing mess, and frankly I'm embarrassed to rant out ever other day to strangers.
Excellent advice Dolphin14, you always seem to know the right thing to say when it's needed most. I agree Avi. You're asking and reaching out for support when you're here so you can voice your truth here with out judgement. With caring listening ears and wise mind feedback, we can thin out pain. Maybe even help you cope better Avi.
Unfortunately I understand. It's sad isn't it? We're doomed. 😱
We'll just have to hang together on this site and support each other. Like now.
Seriously though, I do know what you're going through. And it sucks. I was comfortable in my own skin for so long. Social. A lot of friends. Sure a manageable amount of anxiety and depression but that just helped me be detail oriented and compassionate. I was able to make constructive use of my mental illness and it served me well. Until it knocked me on my butt.
Motivation went out the window. Self distain ran rampant. Agoraphobia overtook my social requirements. My hygiene suffered. Taking a shower is like climbing Mt Everest.
Through meds and counseling I'm coming out of the dark black hole and learning to accept my new reality. Treating my disease with gentle self care, is making me feel better about myself. And that gives me some capability for humor. Which is a fabulous tool for recovery.
I know how hard it is. But you're not alone. I also know that that knowledge helps a little but doesn't take away the pain and anger totally sometimes. So yell, scream and beat the bed with a broom. It's not fair.
Hi, I've read all of your other posts. What can I say that everyone hasn't said before? I think what I find the most disturbing about everything you are going through, is how young you are. You have not only your youth going for you, but you are a talented painter, and a lawyer, to boot!! You will find the right therapist AND the right medication. Of course, these things won't help 100%, but they can really turn your life around. DON'T WAIT!!! Go out and find the proper help as if your life depended on it, because frankly, it does!! Suicide IS NOT the answer. Do you know what people would give just to have what you have now? We have suicidal thoughts when we think that things will ALWAYS be the same, and never change. That will not be the case for you. Keep seeking the right help and things will turn around. DON'T EVER GIVE UP!!. You are so young. Don't waste your life. I wish you peace and healing.
I'm new here..I dont rant to anyone anymore..noone wants a Debbie downer. I go see a therapist and honestly it does help..wish I can afford to see her once a week. People are so different anymore...I'm of course an empath in a world full of narcissists. I feel so isolated. Hang in there. I'll keep trying but it's not easy.
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