Lonely and anxious of new living arrangement

[PhoenixFaith]

Hi, I'm new. I'm recently divorced, and I jumped right into another relationship which just ended last week. I've never had to live on my own, and I've always had a significant other and my anxiety is very high because I'm afraid to be alone. It's debilitating most days. Also, I'm learning to give up alcohol for my health. I feel so alone and I can't shut the negative thoughts out of my mind

[Obscured]

Hi PhoenixFaith.I am sorry that you are having such a difficult time. Between your new living situation and quitting drinking, you are going through a lot of big changes. I completely understand the anxiety over living alone and know that it will take some time to get used to. Is there anything you can do that might help reduce your anxiety? Could you get a dog or have a friend or relative stay over a few nights while you adjust? Perhaps even just check in with a trusted friend each night before bed? Try to not let the negative thoughts overwhelm you and don't be afraid to seek professional help. What you are going through will take a lot of strength, but you will make it through.

[Veteran250]

Dear Phoenix……. Welcome to our friendly caring community, you will find members of this community respond to you, to help you through feeling lonely. We are all here for one another, to give encouragement and support to get us through our day(and night)

You will eventually make virtual friends, who hopefully become real friends, I have made many friends in this community, and am thankful for every one of them.

Hoping this message has given you some encouragement my lovely.

Take care and stay safe!

Don❤️

[Weelon]

Hi PhoenixFaith, I totally understand where you’re coming from. I have been through the same but sometimes I wish I was on my own. Is it just the loneliness that you don’t like? As Obscured mentioned, what about joining a group, class, something sociable if you can. This app is very supportive.

[secrets22]

Being alone can be awful,but being with the wrong person is far worse,After living with my partner for many years,and now having to live alone,is not a nice situation,and it would be so easy to be a fool and rush in,but thankfully i resisted.

[Midori]

Pets are undemanding friends which can fill the lonely hole, until you can gain more confidence in yourself.

Cheers, Midori

[RemySue]

You can do it. I went through a devastating divorce 10 years and felt much the same way. Deep breaths and baby steps-you'll be amazed at what you can do. And I'm right there with you as far as alcohol-I love my wine and beer but just one glass can send me spiraling, so no alcohol right now for me.

[Daveacr1959]

I can only tell you what works for me. I have been battling anxiety 50 years and I’m 62. I get 45 minutes of cardio exercise daily to produce endorphins that battle your anxiety and depression. It seems to help the fight or flight response. I can tell when I do it, because I fall asleep quickly and sleep better. Vs taking along time to fall asleep and waking up several times during the night. If you have family in town, or friend you trust. Maybe a sleepover? There is also this mindfulness breathing technique I have been trying, but it’s not nearly as good as the daily exercise. Walking, jogging, you tube aerobics, jumping rope, resistance bands weight training. And things I’m not even thinking about. Good job for quitting drinking. I did it 11, years ago and don’t miss it.

[cbgrace1980]

Thank you for being brave and sharing your story with us. I know how you feel. I got married in college and my husband left me. Within the next year I was married again, and that marriage has now ended. This is the first time I've been single (for a long period of time) since high school. It's much harder now! Going to counseling was very beneficial to help me learn how to live alone. It's certainly not fun, but it can be done! Giving up alcohol will help, too, as it's a depressant. Hugs to you. Please think about talking with a doctor about how you are feeling if things don't improve for you. We are here for you!

[Lnks]

I can understand being alone feels just that alone lol. I am also divorced and have definitely filled in that lonely gap with people that weren’t the best for me but were in that time if that makes sense. I’m also now 5weeks nicotine free and also 5 weeks no alcohol and I think the hardest part is learning to cope sober. Having to face why you’ve chosen those people or substances to cope also I think has made me really have to face that. I think as hard as it is we need to overcome our demons and the why’s to those things we use to do. I’m on depression medication and still feel moments of loneliness and I’m trying to try and understand myself better. My therapist suggest to write things down that make you happy. Date yourself find out what you don’t or do want in a relationship so when someone does come around you know what your negotiation terms are. I hope this helps