Driving anxiety

[Afraidfortoolong]

I have severe driving anxiety. Especially on highways, more difficult with someone in the car with me, even more difficult if that someone is my daughter. I have tried so many things but I need to be able to drive and see my mom who has cancer and lives 4 hours away. Any tips would be appreciated if anyone else has gone through something similar. On a trip, I feel trapped, and panic almost the entire time. Feels like something terrible is about to happen or I am going to die. My eyes start bothering me and my hands go numb. I end up wanting to pull over or get off at every exit. Sometimes I do get off at every exit which makes for an extremely long trip.

[Lefty_Epee]

Find something to keep you occupied while driving. Audio books and music are good ways to keep you focused on the task at hand, but can help prevent those thoughts of doom.

[Expo123]

You should be so incredibly proud of yourself that you've been managing to get to your mom. I have severe driving anxiety and I've also had experience with cancer in my family. Do you think the driving anxiety you usually feel is even greater than it would normally be because you are worried about seeing your mom when you reach your destination (not knowing what to expect, how she will be feeling, etc.)? I agree with Lefty_Epee that music or audio books could really help. I always listen to music which calms me down, I sometimes roll down the window so that I don't feel claustorphobic. I'm not brave enough to take the highway like you do, but when you mentioned getting off at exits, I do the suburban equivalent. I pick places where I know I can easily turn off onto a side street, stop the car and relax a bit. It might make the trip a bit longer but we do what we can, right? As long as we get there that's the important thing. I'm not sure how long you've been making these trips but I think the driving anxiety will lessen the more you get familiar with the route you're taking. I'm not sure how much flexibility you have with your schedule, but try too to do the driving at times when you know the roads will be a bit quieter. Your mom is really lucky to have such a devoted daughter.

[FearIsALiar]

I have had driving anxiety as well but I overcame it. I overcame it by forcing myself to do the things I didn’t want to do, putting myself in those uncomfortable situations often so I became familiar with it til it became comfortable.

Don’t think of what could do wrong, always think of what could go right! If something bad does happen you will be taken care of. Worrying is a waste of energy and it changes nothing!

[Roia]

Perhaps not the best advise. Can you avoid highways all together and just go on local roads instead? I usually do that and play classical music as well 🙂

[Afraidfortoolong in reply to Roia]

It would take way too long to not take the highway where I need to go. For the most part I try to avoid highways. Avoidance just makes the problem worse though.

[Tibbymom]

I know how you feel. I’ve had driving anxiety for about 15 years and it’s rough. My main problem is interstates, I get full on panic attacks, sweating dizzy, palpitations. I’ve tried audiobooks and music, the thing that works for me is listening to talk shows. I guess it helps me focus on something and the sound of people talking makes me feel less alone and more grounded. Now I stick to less travelled country roads when driving long distance. On interstates, like you, I end up pulling over frequently, getting off at every exit. I used to drive 100 miles a day for work on interstates and now if I make it 2 exits it’s an accomplishment. All this to say you are not alone!

[Afraidfortoolong in reply to Tibbymom]

Thanks for the response and the suggestions. It does help to know I am not alone in this. I feel broken.

[Grenissima in reply to Tibbymom]

Do you know why this happened to you? I’min the same boat

[Tibbymom in reply to Grenissima]

Great question! 3 years ago I pursued therapy for my driving anxiety and during that therapy, my counselor suggested that it was tied to trauma that occurred while I was driving back in 2003. I received news of my Dads death while I was driving in the interstate, I had just left him about 8 hours earlier. I wasn’t super close to him, and I drove with no anxiety after that for another 2 years, but Maybe that played a part in it? I did a lot of work trying to process that trauma and expose myself to that driving scenario (at least in my mind) in order to reduce the anxiety. Gave it a good 6 months. It didn’t really help too much for interstate driving. Now I just use back roads to get where I need/want to go like you.

[Grenissima]

You are not alone. I do not take highways anymore, I’m completely fine on city roads though. I used to drive down highways, fast and all over the country only 5 years ago. Now I live my life according to where I can and can’t drive. I spent so much money on hypnosis and that didn’t help whatsoever. Obviously we can’t get medicated. Sometimes and only on the way back, I’m able to drive like the old me. I’m so happy when it happens. Mostly the anxiety builds before getting on the highway to the point that when the entry is upon me I keep going and look for an alternative road. Debilitating