I hope everyone here is ok despite all that we're going through!
Being born in Middle East and now US citizen, I am too embarrassed to post this as we typically in our culture never discuss emotional health, but I will post a brief background.
As a child, I witnessed a war. We had to seek shelter in basement to avoid bombs. Saw a military jet drop fuel tank as I was riding my bicycle home and another time witnessed another jet fall of sky nearby neighborhood and many other frightening events.
I was pushed into career I did not want but did it because didn't want disappoint parents. Then came to US and got married. I worked in my field for 12 years but hat to end it in a burnout and I quit since it was never my chosen one.
My marriage ended in divorce and I practically lost everything.
Over the years I had to deal with bias and discrimination. Also with constant put down as wars/ terrorism was happening and people asking me to explain why, and to deal with constant reminder of how awful we are , stereotyping, etc etc.
I was laid off my last better job a while back and of course Covid isn't making things any easier.
Cut story short, I am deeply depressed, overwhelmed, don't know who to turn to, don't have friends.
I try to stay positive, but it is hard. I wake up in middle of night with anxiety attacks and frightening thoughts. I have been diagnosed with PTSD and was on medications until I was laid off.
So, any positive encouraging thoughts here that you might give me would be appreciated. Thank you.
Written by
KhadHilou
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Yes you have PTSD Khad. The stigma of having emotional problems is common, even for those of us born here. I'm sorry on top of it all you faced discrimination here. Not clear if this is US or UK. Are there any community health centers you can get meds at? Counseling ?Things will turn around. We are in a perfect storm for depression with everything going on. Keep writing here as people give good advice.
Thank you Samack for your nice and reassuring response. I am in US since early 1990s. Yes, there are some community health, but I have been on meds for over 7 years and I am hesitant to go back on them. Everybody tells me I should, but I am reluctant.
I will definitely continue writing. It feels good to do so without being judged or labelled.
Welcome to this forum. You will not find any discrimination here, as everyone is very kind and many are going through loneliness, depression and trauma.
Hi 👋 Khad. It’s Shnookie. Welcome to our group. This is a warm and welcoming place where U can express yourself freely. I don’t know what state U live in, but there is help out there for PTSD and other mental health issues. Do U have access to a counseling center. From there they can direct U to a therapist to get an evaluation and prescribe U the proper medications, and receive the proper treatment for among other issues your PTSD. My grandmother a Holocaust survivor had terrible survivor’s guilt for not saving her parents and sister and brothers.
This was a form of PTSD and in the
1950’s mental health issues were not discussed in my father’s side of the family.
By coming to this site, is huge and the first step in dealing with your mental health
Hi Shnookie...Yes indeed. PTSD is such a terrible thing. I understand how your grandmother must have felt, hopeless to prevent terrible crimes. I wish her well.I was on depression/ anxiety medications for over 7 years and maybe I should never have stopped. When the bad thoughts starts coming, it seems there is no stopping them. Thanks..hugs
I know what U mean about bad thoughts. I also have had ADHD and depression/anxiety since childhood. Mental health issues R on my mom’s side of the family as well and unfortunately I was the only one there when my mom may she Rest In Peace was hospitalized for mental health issues. I carry my own form of PTSD as well. However, tomorrow I start a new full time job. Yay 😀! I’m going to rest tonight and think 🤔 positive thoughts
Firstly I want to say don’t be embarrassed to talk about your mental health it’s very important 🙏 . I also want to say sorry about what happened I feel your pain . I have friends who are Syrian refugees and they have told me what they have been through and it breaks my heart . I have had to deal with bias and discrimination too it affected me mentally I sometimes would feel ashamed or angry or sad at myself I hated middle school the name calling the islamophobic comments hit me hard . I’m so sorry that everything went downhill but there’s hope 🙏 we care about each other on this community we are like family here ☺️. Lots of kindness and support. Hiba
Hi Hiba...I like what you said we're like family here. I completely understand what you're going through too...so similar..sterotyping us and blaming us for everything bad. I hope you're coping well Hiba. My dream is to get better so I can help others.
Your welcome 🙏. I am coping well one day at a time ☺️. I believe you can achieve the goal 👍 lots of kindness and support . It can be hard to deal with sometimes but I push through it or ignore it ☺️
Right Hiba...One day at a time Sad thing about this depression for me is that I have invention ideas/ patents that I could've pursued years ago, but I procrastinated and put it off because I wasn't "mentally fit" or ready. I was told I was afraid of failure. Maybe it's the depression .
I am thinking of you KhadHilou. I also woke up last night with an anxiety attack and racing thoughts. It's very scary and overwhelming. I hope you can find something to bring you a little levity and peace. How are you doing today?
Hi Ramon...I am kind of tired today as I was up at 4 this morning with usual recurring thoughts and anxiety. I managed to get another hour of broken sleep but barely. I hope you're day is going well
I understand. The same thing happened again last night where I woke up at 5am with heart racing and nerves going. I hope you feel better soon. How are you doing now?
Know the feeling, when your unemployed and there seems to be few jobs that you want to do. But keep going, never stop trying and that door will open for you of your chosen path!
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