Anyone out there like me that can't get out of bed or function at all.

[Alexapal]

Please if there is anyone out there please that us like me that can't function at all or has been through this. I am loosing my battle today. Please if anyone has had this happen or is happening please I feel so so scared and alone and I know there are many trying g to help me I appreciate you.

[countinghyacinths]

You're not alone, I've been in a similar boat for two weeks. I know it's only been a hour but how are you now? Have you eaten or drank anything yet?

[Alexapal in reply to countinghyacinths]

It is almost 2 months. I did drink and eat but so hard my body is all hurting I feel like I don't want to live anymore.

[countinghyacinths in reply to Alexapal]

I'm glad you were able to eat something at the very least, I'm sorry that you're in pain. Is there anything you'd like to get off your chest at least? I'm glad that davidthecoder has provided you with some comfort and support though.

[davidthecoder]

Hi Alexapal,

I am certain you will find others in a similar situation in this group. In fact, what you are experiencing is unfortunately quite common. That is to say, you are surely not alone. There are people that have gotten through the storm and came out much wiser as a result. But there is no doubt in my mind that it is extremely difficult.

With that said, you are functioning enough to be able to post here at least, although I can understand that not getting out of a bed is a huge setback. But it doesn't mean you are a bad and weak person. In fact, very good and strong people can also find themselves struggling with this problem.

We are always here to listen to you and show support. We know how it feels to struggle daily. It is a good release to put your feelings into words and share them with others that get it.

[Alexapal in reply to davidthecoder]

Thsnk you for your reply. I appreciate every word. I don't know if I can survive this anymore as I fo not see how to get out of this situation I am in. I know I need to get up and move but I won't I see my mom struggling and it's like I am numb I don't care. I love her so much. I am also staying away from my boyfriend and his kids. I am in a very very tough situation. I can't look at myself. I never ever was like this.

[davidthecoder in reply to Alexapal]

Oh yeah, I get everything you are saying here. I take care of my dad (maybe I have told you this already in a response on one of your other posts).

Adding the caretaker role into this situation, I think many people don't understand just how hard that is. Since one of my triggers for anxiety is driving, getting him to appointments and whatnot is a huge undertaking full of fear for me.

That is part of why I came here as well. I needed to find other people that are going through it. You are not the only caretaker I have found on here as well.

I hope you will continue to post here because I really am hoping that you will find some relief. That something will work for you, so that you can enjoy your life again. I often think back to before I had anxiety as well, and I didn't realize how good I had it then. But it is here now, and I am always looking for new strategies to manage. Some of these strategies have definitely reduced some of my worrying. And coming here has been helpful as well. But as you know, it takes more than just engaging in a group. That is just one part of it. But the fact that you are doing that, is a good thing.

[Alexapal in reply to davidthecoder]

I stopped doing everything for her I feel like a horrible daughter.

[davidthecoder in reply to Alexapal]

Well, you are clearly going through a difficult time where it just feels overwhelming. Don't think that makes you a horrible daughter, just an overwhelmed daughter. Big difference. The stressors in this world that we live, I think will feel that way to a lot of people. It can cause them to shut down.

But I also believe that even at an extremely low point there exists an opportunity to make progress towards recovering. Even very small progress, minor victories, can build momentum.

But I am also conscious of the fact that complex topics like brain chemistry play a role here. Also the environment we are in, it plays a role. If you have been in bed, maybe the environment has become more disordered. One of the first things I do is make sure I am in a clean, ordered environment. But of course, I get that even doing that might feel overwhelming to accomplish.

[Alexapal in reply to davidthecoder]

I am fearing the night and the morning I need to get up and go to the doctor and I sm freaking out because I can't move. How is this going to go away when I am not fighting for myself. You are so kind.

[Hidden in reply to Alexapal]

Hello who is helping your mum? there is help.out there you clearly arent improving I feel you should seek outside help you can't be a carer when you are unwell yourself you need help too 🤗

[SwimmerBTC]

I am sorry to read that you are having such a tough time at the moment.

As Davidthecoder has said you are not alone in feeling like this. He has written such wise words.

In August/September I was in a similar place, but I eventually came through it and you will do too. I have experienced many episodes like this for over 41 years now, it is absolutely horrible at the time. I have been diagnosed with Bipolar and whilst the lows are really bad the highs can be a challenge too but I’d rather be up than down.

Take care of yourself. See if you can do something little that will make you feel a bit better about things. Don’t expect too much at once. Be thankful for any small step which is a positive and think about that as an achievement and try to ignore the negatives if you can. You will get there, be kind to yourself.

[Alexapal in reply to SwimmerBTC]

I don't know know how to survive this really I am in agony. I am the one that has to get up and I won't. I fear the morning snd the shower and life and I am so so so overwhelmed becsuse it is Christmas I feel like I sm a failure at life. How fo I be kind to myself? I love jet skis I am going to loose my boyfriend his kids because of this depression and I lay in bed not doing snytbibg about it.

[Thurlesy]

Hi Alexa, I have been through this. It was awful and I felt like I would never get better. But I did. I got so much better. I had bumps in the road again, but I'm in a reasonably good place again now. Take heart, you will get better too. I spent days on end in bed unable to get up, or do anything. Anything ag all. Even brush my teeth.

But with the right psychiatrist, and the right medication, I did get better. Don't loose hope.

[Alexapal in reply to Thurlesy]

Thank you for understanding and responding to me.

[Thurlesy]

If you cannot get up today, just ring your doctor and make appointment for tomorrow. Give yourself the opportunity to go tomorrow. Just pull on some clothes and go tomorrow. You deserve to get the help you need. You are worth getting up and going to that appointment. You will be glad afterwards. Promise yourself something as a reward afterwards. Some nice food, or a TV show you like. Prioritise yourself. Please Alexapal, show ursrlf some love and care and respect. You deserve it. xxx

[Zhangliqun]

The most important thing to remember is that staying in bed will only make it worse. It will make you feel more isolated and helpless and thereby cause your mental state to deteriorate further and cause the deterioration to accelerate. From there it will be only a short step to the unthinkable. I almost did back in '94.

The reverse is also true. The more you get out and interact with others, the better you will feel. This is because we were designed such that we are happiest when we are completely unaware of ourselves and most miserable when we are most self-aware. When my left big toe is in good health, I don't think of it at all. I'm aware of it only when it hurts.

It's true for people generally but especially for folks like us. Therefore, the times you least feel like getting up, getting out, going and doing is the time you most need to do it.

Don't wait for the feelings to go away on their own, they won't, they will just get worse. You have to kick them out. It is an affair not of feelings but of the will.

So get up, go, and do. God be with you...

[Alexapal in reply to Zhangliqun]

Thank you so much for this. It is so hard to get up and get going when there is so much fear of how I look and my self image. I hide and do nothing about it. I need excercise and won't do it. It is like my body won't move it is a unbelievable experience. I always moved and had energy. Now it's like I have no feeling.

[Zhangliqun in reply to Alexapal]

We men have an old saying about getting things done when we don't feel like it, best delivered with a NY accent:

Ya gotta do whatcha gotta do...

[Weatherwoman]

Praying for you to get better & you will. A lot of us have been where you are & got better. Hugs --wish I had more to offer, but from all the posts, I see how loved & cared for you are. I was a caregiver for my Mom on & off for ten years. I was at a point where I could not get off the couch & had to have my Mom go over to my Brother & Sister-in-law's home where I knew that my Mom did not want to go. But, as it turned out if I didn't do that I would have needed a caregiver as well. A few years later, I became a caregiver for my Sig. Other --don't know how I did it for two & one-half years. I did get a little help from Professional Caregiver's, but not nearly as much as I needed. Try not to be So hard on yourself, caregiving is one of the Hardest Jobs one can do. And, I know how much you love your Mom & she knows that & your Mom won't want you to get sick & would understand if you got some help. Hope you can see your doctor & explain your situation & what's going on. Healing Hugs sent your way.

[gajh]

What is it that you know you have to do but are procrastinating?

[Zhangliqun]

It has probably gotten worse, hasn't it.

[Zhangliqun]

I'm going to cut and paste for you something I wrote for someone in here in a similar situation about a year ago. Sift out whatever doesn't apply. I pray it helps:

***

Some pretty solid advice I've seen in here so far. The most critical thing is to never, ever give in to the idea that your mental illness is anything like a reliable indicator of the truth about the world outside your head. Once you understand that it's a lie, it becomes far less powerful because you become much less afraid of it. Fear that it will come again will often make it come again.

In my view, the people at greatest risk of suicide are the ones who start to believe that the whole world is hopeless and pointless, not just their own situation, meaning that in their minds, there is nowhere for them to escape the rising floodwaters even if they can get out of their heads for a moment. At that point, you're in a tailspin that's hard to pull out of. I almost ate a pistol in '94 because of it.

Something that really helps me is remembering that the moods do come -- and go. Just remembering that largely de-claws the lacerating despair that may be slicing and dicing me at the moment because I know from long experience that it will go. Yes, in the moment it feels like I have been in this nightmarish mood from eternity past and will be in it forever, but it will go. In remembering that I immediately feel significantly better. But again it is absolutely critical that you believe that there is goodness and worthwhile-ness in the world outside your head. Because it really is there.

Another thing that may sound stupid but really works for me is that just scrunching up my shoulders or allowing my face to sink into a grimace is a trigger. I start to get anxious and my stomach starts to boil. (Your physical posture really does make a big difference in your mental state.) But if I force myself to relax my face and shoulders, the anxiety will go away almost every time. Subconsciously I'll start to scrunch and grimace again and the anxiety returns, but again I force my face and shoulders to relax.

You may have to repeat this process about 50 or 100 times until it goes away for an extended period, so DO NOT be discouraged if it doesn't work right away. After a while this and other 'tricks' become second nature and you're able to judo this thing almost absently, like flipping a light switch or flushing the can. There will still be bad days but there will be fewer of them and on average, they will be less severe.

Some have said to focus on things that produce good feelings in you to push out the bad. You have probably heard this a lot but again, this is solid advice. Different things work for different people but I love looking at pictures of fall foliage, just hypnotizes me. In person is ideal but you can do that any time of year on line, lots of great fall picture sites. Maybe a favorite restaurant or some happy memories. Or going to the hardware store and feeling the constructive atmosphere -- positive things you can do with tools and parts and nails etc to fix something at the house or maybe a hobby or project -- that runs so contrary to the sense of futility this illness stuffs down your throat. Anything that gives you even 5 minutes away from the bad thought patterns is a point gained; it's 5 minutes you weren't feeding this snake. That matters because mood disorders rarely if ever stand still; they are either getting better or worse, depending in large part on your behavior and attitude. Once again, it will be difficult at first, but once again it will become second nature after a while.

Last but not least, these things and all the other solid advice I've seen in here are coping skills -- or more to my point, weapons. DO NOT be passive and hope this illness will go away on its own, it won't. You must stomp the head of this snake day in and day out, because you are in World War (your screen name here), a war for your soul -- and the souls of others (more on that below).

This means you must be willing to fight and fight hard, which means you must believe you have something to fight for. You do. Friends and family and -- get this -- others who are as sick or sicker than you and me, who you don't know yet but who will die by their own hand if you give up now because they will never get encouragement and advice from the voice of experience -- you. God will put you in the path of people new to this illness for this reason, as he has done with me. He will make this illness, yes, worthwhile...

If I sound like Patton in front of that big flag, so be it. When you're up against an enemy as cunning and deadly as mental illness, you need to be a rabid rottweiler with stars on its shoulders. FIGHT!!!

[davidthecoder]

I have a cat as well, so I understand this. Plus my bed is pretty comfortable.

But of course, there are so many tasks I have to attend to like cooking, cleaning, showering, that if I don't do those things I will feel depressed I think. I know this happens to a lot of people. Luckily there are ways to overcome it.