Is therapy worth it?

[Yellow-busy-bee]

I have been in a constant battle with myself and going to talk to someone. I just want something to work. I used to be more depressed than I am now to the point I was suicidal (not anymore thankfully). But I do get down from time to time about myself and my anxiety. I want to know your stories with good therapists. I just want help and understanding as to why I feel a certain way and why I react the way I do. I just have heard that sometimes therapists aren’t good and sometimes they are and I don’t want to take my chances… but I guess I have to.

[EleanorRose]

I'd say yes, definitely worth it! You have to set out with reasonable expectations though - there's no 'quick fix' and not seeing results straight away does not necessarily mean the therapist is bad.

Like in any relationship, some therapists are a good match for you, some might not be. If they're not, it might be a personality thing, just not feeling comfortable to open up or it might be that there style of therapy isn't for you.

I've seen three different therapists in the last decade. The first one I really liked at the time, it was just 'basic' counselling and I'd say didn't necessarily help in the long term but got me through a difficult period. I felt comfortable with her and able to open up. It might sound like an odd thing to say but I looked forward to my weekly sessions with her.

The second one, I knew from the first session wasn't for me. Her style didn't suit me - the first things she did were make me draw a tree and then analysed it and asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10 and told me something bad must have happened when I was that age. That might work for some people but certainly wasn't for me. She also told me in the first session that I should probably be taking medication alongside therapy (she knew nothing about me at this point), told me about her own depression and did alot of talking at me. I carried it on for a few more weeks to give her the benefit of the doubt but ended it quite quickly. I'd say that was a bad experience and a bit unfortunate.

I'm currently having therapy, a mix of counselling and CBT (just one therapist) which I'd say is having a more long term impact on me. I feel comfortable with her and able to share pretty much anything (it took me a while to reach that point though) I feel listened to and respected. There have been a few times things haven't felt right but I've been able to talk to her about them. It's not always plain sailing in therapy but I think it's important to have a therapist who listens, takes on board any concerns and acts on them.

I've rambled a bit here,sorry but I'd say most therapy experiences are positive. Sometimes a therapist might not suit you but it's ok to think and say that and find someone new - doesn't mean they're a bad therapist and not your fault either. I'd say the main red flags of 'bad' therapy are; someone who doesn't listen, tries to give you too much advice/encourages things you're not sure about, talks alot about themselves.

[Yellow-busy-bee in reply to EleanorRose]

Thank you this is really helpful, I do appreciate your advice! It’s scaring starting therapy and even looking for a good therapist so I hope things go well.

[samack in reply to EleanorRose]

the second therapist needs a therapist. Good you knew that.

[ongaku666]

This lady might give you some good advice, she's great

youtube.com/watch?v=IgLSbFT...(Not working as expected?)

youtube.com/watch?v=H6WaMQ7...(Not working as expected?)

Even if you don't find the right one immediately, keep going, you're doing this for your self! It's a learning curve, you will gain more confidence from going through different experiences.

[alifran72]

Sweet friend, I am so sorry you are going through this. I have been there and I did find therapy to be helpful. I saw several different therapists until I found the right now. It does take time. Have you thought about an antidepressant? For me, that was the most helpful as sometimes I couldn't really pin down the reason I was depressed. Just a thought though. I am sending a huge hug your way right now!

[Agora1]

Yellowbusybee, therapy can be worth it but it's your choice in the end to take allthe guidance you have learned and choose the path that works for you. xx