I just need conversation

[VN14]

I’m feeling extremely lost and low. I need someone to talk to. I’ve been in a extremely hard relationship for going on 5 years now . I’ve faced cheating, emotional and physical abuse. I feel sometimes i caused the things i go through.

[Agora1]

Hi VN14, remember that we are never responsible for someone else's actions.You deserve more than how you are being treated. You get this, by loving yourself

and knowing you are worth your weight in gold.

Welcome to this amazing site. We are but a message away. xx

[xsor]

Sending u some hugs lovely we all all just a message away and don’t ever think you are to blame cause that’s not the case at all like agora said xxx

[Kat_21]

Virtual hugs. You are not and never will be responsible for anyone else's actions. I try to ingrain that in my child's head. Everyone has a choice. It's not hard to be a good person. This is coming from somebody who has struggled with abusive tendencies and anger issues in the past (I am no longer this way. It's been 4 years since my last lash out). I made the choices I did. I've paid the price for my actions. It was never anyone else's fault, I wasn't doing what I needed to for myself and I neglected the people around me because of it. No matter what, please don't blame yourself.

[OnTheLoneHill]

Hi VN14, Going to go ahead and second the messages above--you are not responsible for another person's actions or behavior. Abusers thrive when they convince those they abuse that they are the cause of any anger. "You made me do this." Or "I yell because you made me angry" are cop-outs and gaslighting. Sometimes seeing them in the moment is hard, and I hope this site helps you get some outside perspective. Feel free to message me!

[Chair1]

Hi. I hope you are now out of the relationship, and can start building yourself back up. ❤️I was in a bad relationship for a long, long time and have often thought that I was the cause- try to think about how someone treats someone they love though. Is this how you were treated?I'm here any time you want to talk.

[Hidden]

Hi there, I once too was in a bad long term relationship an endured a lot a cheating an lying about the cheating an making me feel I was crazy accusing an suspecting the cheating until I had proof..lots a proof then he still did the deny deny deny which then turned to it all being my fault, an called every name in the book, made me feel worthless an unlovable an just like I meant nothing which affected my everyday life with work friends an family! What this person does is NOT your fault!! Dont let them take anymore of your life!! I've recently had a lot a health issues an im sitting sick wondering why I wasted so much time with somebody who made me so unhappy an hurt me so bad! Life is short an to feel bad by somebody else daily is cutting yours short when u can be alone an happy or possibly find somebody who values you an treats you with respect an love! Please take it from somebody who's wasted so much time that's previous on this kind of life when you don't need to there's always help somewhere, even here just in support. I hope you will make a change an be happy an like yourself again before it's too late!!! Hugs!

[lovetodance2018]

Thank you for reaching out and sharing. I am sorry you have struggled in a bad relationship. You are welcome to pm me. I am happy to chat with you. Are you still in the relationship? Have you been to counseling for the abuse? Just know you are not the cause of someone else's behavior. We all have choices and too often we feel trapped and stuck when we don't have to be. I have learned to ask myself when I feel stuck, why do I feel that way, what can I do to not feel stuck. I had to learn to become empowered by believing in myself and that I do not have to accept being treated poorly. I was in a relationship where I was being emotionally abused. Through counseling I have learned that I am important, special, and should not be talk to in a non-respective way. My husband cursed at me often which really affected me. Here is an article (bit.ly/3ryq6ww) you might find helpful. I will be praying for you and please feel free to reach out to me anytime. Hugs and God Bless

[Fruitsofspirit]

U aren't the problem he has the problem he needs to get help. The first 7 years of my relationship with my husband was very abused I would leave he found me every time. I tried us in counseling he got worse. Finally after 3 days of being beaten, rape he finally he left, our nabor.. , came in took me and our 2 daughters to a safe place that he couldn't find us got me taken care of on welfare took me to the hospital to make sure I wasn't bleeding on the inside or broken bones after a couple days I was taking to my girls and the person place were living.. the first week they took care of me and the girls. I went to counseling and group's. When I finally talked to my husband I told him he needed help and he couldn't see me or the girls until he does.. 8 months got a call from the woman abused place from a counseling for men who abused. Wanted to know if I would join him and my husband. So we did 6 months later we were back together. Not everyone turns out like ours so please don't expect but he needs help. U too so u realize u aren't the problem. Healing love. Praying for you. Hugs

[Mikech]

You're not the cause for any abuse. That's on someone else. Do you have depression too?

[lovetodance2018]

How are you doing? I have been praying for you. Hugs