Being Secretive to Others

[libragirl73]

Why is it every time I go through a phase of anxiety of depression (phase is months by the way) I become so secretive especially with my Dad and some friends? I totally know why. I don't want to worry anyone especially my Dad and I know he will call me many times a day. I don't want to tell everything to my friends because they don't really get it...not like we all do. I also don't want to hear negative feedback. Why can't you just think positive? Can't you do this without medication? You have taken leave from your job, aren't you worried about losing it? I also feel guilty and ashamed when I lie; because the lie grows daily whether you like it or not. The truth is when I feel like this all I have in me to care about is getting mentally healthy again. There is no room for anything else. That is my only priority. If I am not well, I cannot do anything remotely stressful and hearing all that feedback doesn't help either. I know you all can possibly relate to this.

[Roxylox]

Yes I can libragirl. I am feeling a little like that right now. I am not having an episode, but a little thing this week set off some not good feelings. It's a small incident I can't relate to my family.It's burning up inside of me, making me angry anf cranky, and I have to keep it to myself, one of the reasons being, so they wont worry.

I have to cop on and not be so touchy and cranky, but I know it has a root cause, not a medical one.

When I actually was unwell, 7 years ago, it was also hard to express how I felt.

I am also always afraid of the danger that family will think I'm having an episode when I'm not. Perhaps you can relate to that too?

Lately I am finding journalling a big help. I really hadnt tried it properly until this year.

[libragirl73 in reply to Roxylox]

Thank you Roxylox.

[DodgeDhanda]

I'm sorry that you feel you need to lie especially to a parent rather than be honest & ur dad probably knows when something is wrong as ur moods will change , tone of voice or even short temper if it pops up. The reason I say this is because I spot it in my girls when they're struggling or angry .

Worst of all others will see you as a liar & that is ur dad included but he will observe & wants to be able to help you but you need to tell him the truth , he isn't just anyone he is ur dad & that is one the most important roles in life like motherhood which is first.

A suggestion if I may , talk to ur dad tell him the complete truth after you've come to terms with Urself believing that ur dad is a friend. Any decent parent is ready to walk through he'll for their kids no matter what age.

End of the day if you feel that it's better to lie to ur dad then that's ur choice & u run a massive risk. Also you already know right from wrong & you confessed that each lie grows bigger by day & believe me liars ALWAYS get their lies mixed up. I just hope if u do decide to talk to ur dad that he tells u off for thinking that lying is a good thing.

I don't mean this as a judgement just a friendly chat

[libragirl73 in reply to DodgeDhanda]

I know you are right. I love my dad very much. It is more having him not worry but I most definitely will talk to him today.

[DodgeDhanda in reply to libragirl73]

As a dad I know it would break my heart if my daughters felt they had to lie. I wish u a good positive weekend LG.