Feeling lonely : Feeling lonely even... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Feeling lonely

Tigerlilly7 profile image

Feeling lonely even though been around people all day.

Can’t reach out as feel like a burden.

Does anyone every have a void they don’t know how to fill

56 Replies

I’m sorry you’re feeling like this.

My personal belief is that some voids are not fillable in this lifetime.

Tigerlilly7 profile image
Tigerlilly7 in reply to Rafiki11

Do you sometimes feel like that you have a void rafiki

Rafiki11 profile image
Rafiki11 in reply to Tigerlilly7

Most definitely!

I am very happy with my life but still there is a void that can be felt. I don’t want to proselytize, but I don’t think this life is the final stage.

All my needs are met, a lot of my wants are met, I have a husband, two kids, and a couple of friends. I work outside of the home to help improve the lives of kids and their families.

Still something is missing…and that’s okay!

What do you think is missing?

I think there is a life after this life that we are supposed to long for that will fill all voids.

If we were able to feel completely whole here, that would be strange given all the pain and sorrow others are experiencing.

We are supposed to long for a place with no pain or sorrow. A place full of peace and love.

Me too. I believe so too.

In the meantime, I work to bring love and peace to here where I am. It brings a hint of Heaven to Earth.

Your lucky you are happy. I just don’t feel happy but don’t know why. So I plod along. Some people are just not ment to be happy I don’t think and I’m one of them . Sorry if that’s negative

Rafiki11 profile image
Rafiki11 in reply to Tigerlilly7

Maybe I should say joy versus happy. I have joy even when I don’t feel happy (because of depression or circumstances).

I feel empty or robotic a lot of the time. And that’s okay. I can’t always trust my feelings but I KNOW I am okay.

I’m just not a euphoric person.

Tigerlilly7 profile image
Tigerlilly7 in reply to Rafiki11

You sound like a positive person which is good , I’m trying to be more positive.I think it will help me.

Rafiki11 profile image
Rafiki11 in reply to Tigerlilly7

It’s okay. Some people are just pessimistic by nature. I’ve raised my children very similarly but my son is pessimistic and my daughter is optimistic.

I would focus on being more correct instead of being more positive.

For example, my student complains “Everyone in my homeroom hates me.”

I tell him “that’s not accurate. A few people hate you. A few people love you. The rest are in between. Let’s think about how you can be a good friend when you’re in class.”

Tigerlilly7 profile image
Tigerlilly7 in reply to Rafiki11

Yeah I see what you mean try to see the facts more , as our brains when low well me anyway lie to us

Roxylox profile image
Roxylox in reply to Tigerlilly7

That's true they do. My feelings about how people feel about me escalate too.

Tigerlilly7 profile image
Tigerlilly7 in reply to Roxylox

This is one of my things I find really hard. Speaking to people. If I talk to someone which is really awkward then after I worry and analyse the whole conversation and try to be a mind reader of what they think. Which is always bad. As hard as it is we have to stop these thoughts. How I not to sure? Anyone got advice?

I been told just not to care what people think of me. But it’s hard to not

Roxylox profile image
Roxylox in reply to Tigerlilly7

Im afraid I think the very same way . I also analyse conversations I've had and what I might have said that could have been misinterpreted. Also I have often overheard people saying negative stuff about me. Seldom have I heard good things said about me...A piece of me dies I feel each time I hear a bad comment. I cant help caring, even though I know I shouldn't. Sorry for just laying more on you. I'm actually a pretty positive thinker until I hear people speak badly of me.

Tigerlilly7 profile image
Tigerlilly7 in reply to Roxylox

Yes I the same , I worry I’ve said something wrong etc... but you know some people don’t worry about saying mean comments to me.

san_ray70 profile image
san_ray70 in reply to Roxylox

Are you sure they are speaking badly of you, or is it your imagination. Years ago my friends were organising a birthday party for my 40th. Every time I came near I felt awkward, I got really paranoid. I checked my breath, my body odour, could not think what I had done wrong. Then on the day of my birthday my mum asked me to collect something from her club. I walked in all my friends and family were there for my surprise.

Roxylox profile image
Roxylox in reply to san_ray70

I'm afraid I'm 100% positive, l really wish it was imagination. It was borne out by awful stuff my ex manager had said about me after I left coming back to me through a very close abd loving family member. My family member was not going to make up this stuff were they.Even that family member took a lot of convincing that there was no truth in what this awful, vindictive manager was spreading about me.

This rubbish last year mid pandemic has resulted in me being the subject of whispers , and somtimes very audible comments, particularly when I enter a shop. On the plus side, though my troubles led me to this site. Excuse the rant, its just that this month is the anniversary of the horrible stuff at that former workplace.

san_ray70 profile image
san_ray70 in reply to Roxylox

Would it help if you helped others, I started a few years ago working for charity. I have worked with autistic and downs syndrome children and adults. Now I call people who are depressed being on their own. I have recently been seeing some of these people for coffee. I feel I am making a difference to these people. I have also made new friends.

Roxylox profile image
Roxylox in reply to san_ray70

Where I worked l had a rapport with the clients, though that was not my role. However, what kicked off my mistreatment was that a member of staff thought I didnt have good intentions towards the clients, which was oh so very wrong. That set off the chain of events that led to a final showdown. They never accused m e but I knew I was under supicion. I knew after a short time they realised they were wrong, but somehow they became more hostile to me , around 4 people out of the 20 who worked there, including the manager, who l heard tell the others at their usual morning meeting that she haf never liked me, had only been pretending. She had always been full of praise for me it was obviously false praise They then picked faults and some I could hear referring to me by a nasty nickname while I was in earshot. The main protagonist said I was slow at my work. No consideration given that my work had doubled due to Covid practices.

For that reason I do not want to work around people again. I was good with them but somehow I dont inspire trust in people. I still have 3 hours work at another place and hope to maybe pick up some writing related work online.

Rafiki11 profile image
Rafiki11 in reply to Tigerlilly7

I think this means you are very empathetic and sensitive to the feelings of others. That’s not a bad thing!

Sometimes it also means you grew up in an abusive household.

Instead of thinking of what others think of you, maybe think of what you think of you? “In that conversation I did my best to connect in a kind, respectful way.”

mydog56 profile image
mydog56 in reply to Rafiki11

i know i can not trust with mine either , cause of the bullying and the lying from the not so friends at school , but you know, hopefully this happens cause of something happening you know it all comes to you know our feelings

That's exactly how I am to the point of being like it as soon as I open my eyes every morning. Can't shift the feeling no matter how I try.

Sorry you feel like this it is rubbish feeling. Sorry I don’t know the answer but you are not alone . X

Thankyou sweety your are not alone either and is of some comfort to know there are others out there who experience simular and understand although not very nice. I've been like it all through my life from a very early age and I'm now nearly 64 so have had to learn in different ways of how to cope with it. Not always easy though is it.

I feel lonely, & on the burdensome side too reaching out to others. I did reach out to a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist for help & have been given tools to help with my feelings. Breathing techniques, Mindfulness, painting, & many other helpful suggestions to apply.

My problem now is implementing them. I was in a Grief Group a few years back & the facilitator said at some point you just need to put one foot in front to the other & start. Although you many not have had a obvious loss, I keep reading that this past pandemic year has brought much grief to many. I now know what I need to do, my next step is going ahead & doing it. You have given me some courage to do that, thank you Tigerlilly for your help.

Tigerlilly7 profile image
Tigerlilly7 in reply to Clarrisa

I don’t know about you but I’m my own worst enemy sometimes. I am trying to stop thoughts in there tracks and not let them spiral. Which helps but it’s not easy. Yes your right I think everyone has struggled in their own way due to pandemic. Be strong you can do it

mydog56 profile image
mydog56 in reply to Tigerlilly7

yes i had lots of things bugging me lately cause of the covid19 \but at least you know i can help out people in here.

twinks profile image
twinks in reply to Clarrisa

I relate to this the last yr has been a struggle and difficult for a lot of people, even those previously with no anxiety depression issues OCD has got worse and counselling lists huge waits.

I would like to have an answer for u but I keep trying to do my best, but feels like swimming in mud

A lot of the time I do yes

Tigerlilly7 profile image
Tigerlilly7 in reply to Roxylox

I guess the answer is not try to fill the void just accept we have one I guess ?

That is probably wise thanks Tigerlilly

This sounds familiar to me. Have a look at this link to see if this provides any clues. It certainly did with me! It's a lot more common than generally realised.

healthline.com/health/menta...

Thank you

We all have a God void that only He can fill. God is love. We are all looking for and needing to be loved. I lived in depression, anxiety and self condemnation for many years. I was literally tormented day & night. Finally when I started to reach out to Him did I find freedom. I believed in God before and went to church for years but I didn't find Him there. I had to forgive everyone. God never stops loving us. This may sound trite to some but it has been a real healing experience for me. I have found peace of mind and I hope you can find it too.🙂💗🙏

Hi all i can relate to all the coments in one way or another. Look at it another way perhaps we are special people our minds work different to others. Our brains are always working harder. Over analysing everything.

Roxylox profile image
Roxylox in reply to ma65

You could very well be right there ma.

My advice is to not ever give up. Yes, you can be happy if you find the right combination of medication and friendships. There are so many people who will be able to understand you and relate to you, but they won't come to you, you will find them. Don't stop the search for contentment. Keep plodding through our screwy mental health system until you get there. You will be rewarded.

>>>So I plod along. Some people are just not meant to be happy I don’t think and I’m one of them . <<<

mydog56 profile image
mydog56 in reply to NickMo

well people are happy it is just for some people that are not happy it is hard for them but you know you can do some stuff that makes you happy , you know , like be happy!

Roxylox profile image
Roxylox in reply to NickMo

I don't at all agree that some people are not meant to be happy. I would say we should probablykeep trying to find our own level of happiness, maybe by treating ourselves ,doing things we enjoy, maybe not necessarily in other people if they are not willing to accept us.

You said you "can't reach out because [you] feel like a burden." To me that indicates maybe you need to bolster your self esteem. I have problems talking (in a dating/flirting situations, in particular) but what made it easier was working on my self esteem.

Be kind to yourself. Other people may tear you down, but don't help them do it.

Try to look at a situation objectively. We bring a lot of baggage with us when we look at our interactions. "Oh, that person was just being nice..." etc. Try to change the lens when reviewing interactions. Is it possible that was a good interaction and you just missed the signals because of your baggage?

Try smaller interactions. Smile at people and check their feedback. Congratulate yourself on any successful interactions, no matter how minor. If your self esteem is low, you need this.

When you feel better about yourself, you'll feel on more even ground with interactions, not like you're a burden but just two peers exchanging human communication.

If I'm off base on this, feel free to ignore this advice, but it has helped me a lot.

i would say if you feel like you are in a burden , try to talk to people slowly, you know and also try to text slowly , it is okay to do these things since you feel in a burden lily look i am here to help you and i think i found the right stuff to say, but anyways yes so do those things and i hope you do not feel it again

Yes their is a season for everything including what your feeling. Believe also our freedoms our being removed from ?So it’s more common nowadays. Pray for our country to be restored! Sending love to you hang in their. The power that be hears us. Many of us feel that. It’s a painful feeling.

I get that way sometimes too it’s hard to reach out sometimes too when they don’t understand how you feel. You are never a burden

Rafiki11 profile image
Rafiki11 in reply to mkat13

I agree. I worry about tiring my in person support people but there is always someone here who is ready to listen and reach out.

mkat13 profile image
mkat13 in reply to Rafiki11

I’m glad you said that because a lot of people in my support system don’t understand at all so I just don’t bother talking to them about how I feel.

Rafiki11 profile image
Rafiki11 in reply to mkat13

I only talk to my inner circle support system about these things. I’m slowly learning who is not helpful with these things.

Sorry to hear about your issues -The only time I felt lonely is when the boyfriend I was with for 2 years & who I gave up another relationship for split up with me - this was years ago though -ive got over that

I live on my own & have lived on my own for 7 years & so used to it i dont notice it now

I've felt this way more than I could try to keep counting it's part of the depression I feel sorry for my family our depression we confuse them. My poor husband give up cuz I have him all over the place. But he loves me. He made me do pinky promises to just let him know what I need. But I still feel alone. Dealing with depression and anxiety ( which I haven't had in days) is hard on those who love and care.

tell your husband to help you with your depression and anxiety, yes sure poor him, but mostly i feel like your importent to your family to your husband , to everyone you love, i just want you to make sure that your husband is nice to you and that he is not poor! teach yourself and him lessons for being poor you know, you got that time to do it, and i will be sure to help you and your husband! is your husband on this site, purhaps you can talk to me about what has been going on with you two , that have been seem poorly , pm me

i am worried about you 2

I know it can be hard, but reaching out for help is far better. It’s what I’m learning.

I am lonely because I don't have any one day to day to associate with. I don't know how to make friends at my age (61). Any ideas. Please!

Check out meetup.com

I think you should go to church and meet friends. There’s a lot of elders that go there.

Church, thing u like to do. Bingo. Senor center. Granden clubs.

Yeah. I get lonely too.

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