Hi there, I’m new here. I have struggled with anxiety and depression for most of my life. As a child I was very shy and quiet .. always had a hard time making friends , making a connection with people. When I was in my early teens I used to wish I was old so that my life would be closer to being over ! I still feel the same being much older. Every day I wake up I hope it will be my last. I’m too afraid of dyeing and too afraid of living. This is how deeply depressed I am on the inside. To look at me you would never guess I was this depressed. I shop to distract myself , I like to look good because it feels good , that’s the easy part but it’s also taking up all my energy , and thinking that looks are all that matter is not a healthy way to live. My daughter stopped talking to me almost 3 years ago at Xmas of all times, and since then I just have been barely hanging on. My parents are getting up there in age and my mother has dementia and my father is very controlling. My brother sells drugs and my only true companion is my dog. She is my rock and the reason I keep going or try to. Anyway that’s a glimpse of how my life is going. I work full time but have no savings and live pay check to pay check. The corona virus is taking its toll , as is for most people. I have pretty been a recluse for the last few years which is fine sometimes but can get very lonely.
This is me ..: Hi there, I’m new here... - Anxiety and Depre...
This is me ..
![Bocell65 profile image](https://images.hu-production.be/avatars/4ec03d53159f4fb398c917fe1014edac_small@2x_100x100.jpg)
Written by
![Bocell65 profile image](https://images.hu-production.be/avatars/4ec03d53159f4fb398c917fe1014edac_small@2x_100x100.jpg)
Bocell65
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
2 Replies
•
We are very alike in many ways and I know it is hard, especially right now. Keep hanging in there. Your daughter may one day soften. Right now, concentrate on what makes you happy. Play and cuddle with your dog. It will help to feel a connection.
Hi Bocell,
I am saddened to read that you are afraid to live and afraid to die.
You are not alone! Coming here is a great start to figuring things out.
I too have chronic depression & anxiety.
For me the key is talking it out or writing down my feelings & staying active.
Your family situation sounds very difficult.
Don't give up trying to make connections. It's so important.
♡
Not what you're looking for?
You may also like...
is Anyone else alone
I’m so alone and scared. I wake up every morning with horrible anxiety about being alone. I get...
This IS “feeling normal” for me
I feel anxious, insecure, and depressed all at the same time. My self-esteem is terrible. I feel...
I wish this would go away
I just want my myself back the days of not feeling dizzy off balance like I’m going to fall over...
I can’t handle this anymore everyday
I really can’t handle the crazy feelings the weird sensation the not knowing where I am not feeling...
Tomorrow is my last group therapy session
I feel so sad that we will separate tomorrow. It’s been 12 weeks. We’ve been meeting everyday...