Slump

[Blackedout]

Recently I've been in a slump and I can't get out of it. My grandpa passed away on the 3rd and my depression is getting worse. I was hoping my birthday on Tuesday would help but it didn't and I dont have the motivation for anything lately.

I've been making a daily to do list with stuff I want to do that day, Self care, making sure I get enough sleep, eating, that sort of thing. Even with this though I accomplish what I set out for the day but then afterwards it's like I'm back to where I was when I woke up. No motivation again, wanting to sleep te rest of the day or lay in bed. Wanting to smoke bowl after bowl all day long. Like I'm trying, I exercise every day for half an hour at least , I eat decently well, I get 8 hours sleep... nothing seems to work

[Hidden]

Sorry to hear your grandpa passed away.

It sounds like your doing all the right things. I would maybe suggest making some goals, short term and long-term. It might give you more focus.

Also Happy birthday.

[Blackedout in reply to Hidden]

Thank you

[kvolm2016]

I'm sorry to hear about the death of your grandpa and the loss of that relationship. Since you mention that the depression is recent, was his death the origin of it or were you already dealing with depression?

If the depression is due to grief over your grandpa's death, it certainly takes time to process through the emotions of grief, so it wouldn't be surprising that you are still dealing with them. But there are ways to specifically process grief and you could start learning and using those.

Is the smoking a regular habit or has that also increased due to the depression?

[Blackedout in reply to kvolm2016]

I've had depression for years now so it's just amplified I guess right now. I also smoke daily since my boyfriends family is in the weed business

[Marshall64 in reply to Blackedout]

Does weed help or make the depression worse? Just curious.

I have the same problem with motivation and depression.

[Blackedout in reply to Marshall64]

I'm not sure, I'd like to say it helps. I mellow out a bit more and don't think about things as much which is good. However there are times I'll just smoke so I can go to sleep so a bit of both I would say depending how bad my mindset is

[kvolm2016 in reply to Blackedout]

I think your observation about the depression being amplified is probably the explanation for what you are experiencing. If you have been dealing with your depression for a long time, it has probable generally presented itself in certain recognizable patterns in your daily life and you have learned how to manage it at that level. Now that the depression has been amplified due to this additional grief factor, your usual ways of dealing with the level that you are accustomed to is falling short of working effectively. So working through the grief might be the solution to returning to successfully managing daily life. Thoughts?

[Blackedout in reply to kvolm2016]

I never thought of it this way but that makes sense. I'm just not sure what ways or how to cope with the new level of grief and depression. I've cried and grieved for my grandfather, have some stuff to remember him by and to have for when I'm missing him. I wake up everyday with no motivation no matter what I do. I exercise, eat healthy, get enough sleep and all I want to so is sleep all day or watch TV and do absolutely nothing all day. I can't even get back into any of my hobbies

[kvolm2016 in reply to Blackedout]

I appreciated the grief group that I was part of through griefshare.org/They also have resources to share on processing grief in a healthy way. Maybe see if that would be useful for you too.