Going through a rough time

[Sixes]

I’m going through a rough time right now with depression primarily. It’s a chronic problem and has progressed to be quite severe over the past 3 years. To where I’m barely able to take care of myself (I’m talking about bathing, brushing my teeth type things, let alone major things like work and having a social life). I had to take a leave from work and don’t know if I’ll be able to return. I’m in intensive treatment and taking meds right now and have been literally for years, but not feeling hopeful like I have in the past, that this heavy shroud will lift anytime soon or ever. I know some of it is normal depressive feelings but it’s been a steady decline since 2012 (I was highly resilient and very high functioning so it’s taken a while for me to get to the poor state I’m in). When I started treatment last week they asked for me to write down all the meds and treatments I’ve tried over the years and I was pretty shocked myself at the number of things I’ve done. 20 plus medications, even more combinations and med trials, TMS , ketamine infusions, psilocybin, weekly or more often therapy for over 10 years, EMDR, partial hospitalization twice now, exercise, supplements, herbs, and I’m sure others I’m forgetting. All to no avail or a very bad patch job at the very best. The med treatment plan proposed last week: basically start back at the first med (Prozac) I was ever on that didn’t work or “have you thought about ECT” (the potential loss of memory terrifies me to even contemplate). I’ve heard the ECT question 3 or 4 times during this most recent episode from different people, maybe? I’m just tired of trying what seems like everything and nothing working even a little.

[Lunus]

Rooting for you! Keep battling on and hope this current wave subsides and you feel better soon.