Really struggling

[Alwalc]

Hi everyone. I'm really struggling. I have been for a while. I told my psychiatrist today that I think I'm in the midst of a mental breakdown. He tried to assure me I'm not, but it sure feels like I am.

[Hidden]

Hi Alwalc, I’m sorry to hear that. My question is, are you living your own life? Or busy trying to help other people live their lives? The reason I ask is that everyone who has ever said (to me) “I feel like I’m having a mental breakdown,” was breaking their necks trying to do for others.

[Alwalc in reply to Hidden]

I think you are hitting pretty close to home, I am a caregiver. To my husband and somewhat my mom. I know I need to focus on me more, it's very difficult

[Hidden in reply to Alwalc]

It is difficult. I can see why you are so stressed out. I think there’s respite care for that.

What would an official diagnosis of mental breakdown give you (if your psychiatrist had granted you that relief)? Must you really have a breakdown — an official honest-to-goodness breakdown— to earn the relief you so badly need?

Instead, might I make a magical and mystical suggestion? 🔮 (if not, read no further...)

Are you familiar with the art of disappointing people? It’s a scary thrill. A skill of a lifetime. I highly recommend you try this. You begin by doing some small disappointing things. No, I will not drive you home from the store. No, I will not be taking you to the movies. No, I’m not making you a snack. No, I’m not making you a bowl of ice cream just because I am getting one for myself. No hanky or panky. No, I’m not dusting your curtain rods. No, I will not entertain you and your uninvited guests. No, I will not “reply” to your post. Whatever it is.

I believe it’s called setting boundaries, but I also call it the magical mystical 🔮 art of disappointing people. 🔮 It’s mystical and magical because... well it changes everything.

I will admit, it is a difficult art form to master. The fear of being called selfish scares many people away. I’m probably only a white belt myself. But, it is the best relief!!

😀

[tinycrumbs in reply to Hidden]

One of the most life-changing revelations for me, as an adult woman who was raised to be an agreeable, charitable doormat, was simply learning that "no" is a complete sentence. Your comment is an excellent reminder of that, Oracle.

It's crucial for survival to put our own needs first sometimes. Remember, you can't pour from an empty cup.

[Alwalc in reply to tinycrumbs]

Very true, thank you

[JohnPB in reply to Alwalc]

Being a caregiver to one person is a lot and providing some care to a second person makes your plate really loaded. Do what you can to take care of yourself. Hopefully, there is or you can get some help with the caregiving.

[Gadzukes]

I understand that feeling. It happened to me a few months back. It lasted quite a few days then passed as I read a couple books on stress and anxiety. It sounds like you’re really stressed right now. Only you know the reasons for that. Our self talk can really contribute to the situation. I can’t remember the book title that I read that I read that helped the most but will research it and get back to you. Hang in there it’s going to get better. This is a great support place.

[Gadzukes]

The book that helped me was “Hope and Help for your Nerves” by Claire Weekes. On Amazon

[Alwalc in reply to Gadzukes]

Thank you so much. Be well!

[Artyhype in reply to Gadzukes]

That book really helps I've read it twice and bought her others

[Pel3749 in reply to Gadzukes]

That author is wonderful. I have read her other books and helped me a lot.

[Hidden]

It's normal every now and again to feel so completely overwhelmed with all that is going on around us that it feels like we might just breakdown. When there are emotions we have not dealt with or frustrations that have not been addressed we an start to feel this way. Those things tend to fester and end u becoming big problems later on. Another factor is doing to much for others so it feels like you are forgetting yourself. when you are doing for others it can feel nice and very rewarding but when it starts to feel like you are being taken advantage of it will weigh on you and make you feel down and stressed out. These are just a few things that can really effect us without us even realizing. That is not even adding the stress of the world right now. All of these things compiled on top of each other add to the stress of everyday living. And all that stress if not dealt with eventually makes us feel very anxious after all it's a feeling and it's going to come whether we want it to or not. Take some time to really feel what you need to. And make sure to practice self care. Take some time out of your day that is just for you so you can relax and take care of your needs. If you need, and are able to, to talk to people in your life to begin working on any issues that might be present. And remember to be compassionate with yourself. Even if none of what I have said applies to you, we all have bad days every now and again. Sometimes for no reason. It's okay to not be okay for a little while. Just remember to be compassionate with yourself for this and don't beat yourself up over not feeling okay.

[Gentlespirit]

I am not sure that you are or are not in the midst of one. Have you been holding back?

[Gentlespirit]

Are you taking care of yourself or trying to take care of othwrs? At some point you have to have boundaries. Evaluate and reevaluate where you are.

[Gentlespirit]

Take some time out for yourself. Just step back and do self care otherwise the results of not doing so may not be good . Its not selfish to take care of yourself first. Try listening to music or someone else reading. Its ok to put yourself first.

[MaceyM00]

Hello Alwalc,

I too felt like I was having a mental breakdown. Whether or not I truly did, I still don't know. It was very frightening and I had to take time off of work. It has been a truly taxing month so I can relate. My suggestion would be to take some time, if you're able to, for yourself. Whether that be time off of work or just taking a hot bubble bath and focus on YOU. I hope you're feeling better very soon and know there are so many people on here to support you.

[Alwalc in reply to MaceyM00]

Thank you so much for your understanding and kind words. I'm hoping to shower today, and hoping today goes better

[ShakeyD]

Why does it feel like a mental breakdown. Are you unable to focus.

[Alwalc in reply to ShakeyD]

Trouble motivating, very depressed, not doing self care, trouble eating, sleeping too much...that type of thing. Feeling better today, managed to shower, did some housework, working on a load of laundry. I'm trying.

[ShakeyD in reply to Alwalc]

That's good. I think that's key. I notice that when I'm more active and do things I feel less depressed and anxious. The hardest part is finding the motivation.

[Jazzcatie]

I feel the same way. I stay inside and look out the window at my neighbors playing on their lawn. They are having fun, but I don’t even know how anymore.I know if I had a gun in the house I would use it. I don’t.

[KIMMYK62]

I have felt like this recently also!

[Choctawgirl]

What are you struggling with? Try to take one day at a time. Find something that you like to do. Do you have any family or friends who you can talk with? Any pets?