Struggling for years, but really struggling lately

[BrooksHatlen23]

Recovering alcoholic of almost 17 years. In the last couple of years of drinking I developed go to the ER level of panic attacks. Through quitting drinking, a good doctor who really cared and meds I was able to manage it for about 8 years. Then around 2010 the walls really started to close in and I left the house less and less to the point I became completely agoraphobic. I even moved back in with my mom January 1st 2011. I got disability and it was backdated a couple of years so with the money I made the upstairs into a house of my own. I was able to find comfortability there. My life certainly wasn’t exciting but I was pretty much at peace. In 2015 my mom got cancer and died in 2016. Surprisingly I was able to keep it together through that. So the past few years have had some ups and downs but I’ve been managing until last Thursday when I was diagnosed with diabetes. The first day was a blur but the second day was me not living with untreated diabetes but now treated diabetes. I completely changed my diet and started taking diabetes meds. Then Saturday rolled around and I started to feel anxious then panicky then full blown panic attack. I’ve talked to a new doctor, the suicide hotline (not suicidal just needed to talk to someone in the middle of the night), my cousin, uncle and pharmacists who all have given me conflicting information about the effects of the drug I’m on (metformin) (the three people I named all also have diabetes). All I know for sure is I’ve been essentially stuck in a panic attack for about 5 days. I’ll get a few hours of where I’ll come out of it then bam right back into it. I’ve tried all my old tricks of deep breathing, watching ASMR videos taking showers, playing video games but nothing seems to be working. I see a new doctor next Tuesday, but I could really use some help now.

[fauxartist]

have you been going to therapy?....have you done any group therapy.....sometimes knowing and understanding a possible root of panic attacks will help you with being able to find new coping mechanisms. I paint...garden, and when on short road trips take a lot of pictures. I also write and interact a bit on this site to express myself anonymously. Sometimes getting out of our own head for a while doing something constructive and positive that makes you feel good can clear our heads.....but we have to make the effort, there are no magic pills, or one cure, or one size fits all solution....we are all our own collective of issues and have to find what works for us. I hope you do reach out and keep sharing here as well....there's no judgement here....many of us understand, I too am dual diagnosed, with addiction, recovering for many years, but one day at a time is all that matters....and I also have depression, etc....both are a disease.

[BrooksHatlen23 in reply to fauxartist]

I went to therapy for about 2 years (2009-2010), but it didn’t feel like I was getting anywhere. However I went to the doctor last Thursday and am going back next Tuesday, so I’m making an effort to get out of the house and hopefully get ahold of this. The reason I bring up I’ll be going out twice in a couple of weeks is I’m terrified of it but willing to go back to therapy (out of the house). About 20 miles away is a place that provides therapy for low income and disabled people. I’m going to call them and start over. Thank you very much for your response.

[fauxartist in reply to BrooksHatlen23]

There are also online support groups for recovery, not all are 12 step groups, or have any money involved....just to have more outlets can be helpful, it helped me when I was struggling with my sobriety. I also found affordable therapy at a clinic that offered low cost therapy, and I live in the countryside.....but it was worth the 40 min. drive. When you get a good fit with a therapist...it can help you sort out triggers and understand certain anxiety's....but therapy isn't for everyone, nor are antidepressants, but I am fortunate that my SSRI does help me....there are no cures....but I'll take any help I can get....best wishes

[BrooksHatlen23 in reply to fauxartist]

Thank you for the extra information and thanks for caring. Best wishes to you too.

[fauxartist in reply to BrooksHatlen23]

anytime....I am open about my recovery on this site, even though it's not a recovery site.....it's part of who I am, and part of my disease.

[MsLockYourPosts in reply to BrooksHatlen23]

There is a diabetes group here on Health Unlocked which might be another good resource. Hopefully the therapy you find will be a good match for you, but don’t be afraid to try other options if the first connection isn’t a comfortable fit.

[BrooksHatlen23 in reply to MsLockYourPosts]

Thank you, I’m going to go find the diabetes group now.

[backtonormal]

I'm sorry that you're going through this. Panic attacks are not fun at all. I don't think that Metformin is the cause of your attacks however, there are a few side effects that I believe can show up after long-term use but you've only been on it for 5 days. Some of those side effects are trouble breathing, dizziness, lightheadedness, a fast or slow heart rate. My husband is also on Metformin and told me he remembers that his doctor told him to contact him immediately if he felt any of those things. You may want to contact your doctor and let him know what you are experiencing. I'm not sure how you manifest panic attacks but I know that I start feeling like my heart races, a get a little lightheaded and feeling like everything is a little surreal which makes me "panic". I'll be praying that you get to the bottom of these panic attacks and conquer this soon!

[BrooksHatlen23 in reply to backtonormal]

Thanks for the reply. I changed everything and was trying to “cure” myself overnight combined with the Metformin it gave me false hypoglycemia. Which if you look up the symptoms of that and know that I already had an existing panic attack issue you’ll see why things were as my new doctor described it “unbearable.” However now it’s getting better day by day with some tough days mixed in, but I keep being assured that it’ll keep getting better as long as I stay on the path I’m on. Once again thanks for the reply and best wishes to you.