So incredibly lonely, tired, willing to give up

[Jerry_Adam]

42 , chronic fatigue since 4 years, terrible insomnia, longing for a relationship but anxiety and old childhood trauma keeps me from dating... and makes it feel impossible to get a connection in the future as well. Life is passing by which hurts extremely, my past is empty, not filled with beautiful connections i long for. Barely hanging on to my job( i work 50%) I am so done... mentally and phisically drained and tired. I feel so much hurt, i rather missed an arm. Longing for warmth and affection wich seems impossible to get...life can be so beautiful, mine is filled with hurt...

I did it to myself... being scared to come out of the closet i kept myself most of my life safe. Coming out to work and family made me burnout with chronic fatigue and depression as result. I just want love...

[Hb2003]

Please do not give up there’s hope there’s always light you just haven’t seen it yet . Think about things that make you happy. There’s always hope

[finefrenzy127]

I am so sorry for your pain! Do you journal? Everyday I write down something I have to do before the week is over. That way you can prepare, schedule and accomplish one of your goals. Take it step by step, day by day - and slowly you will realize how incredible you truly are! No one will do it for you, it will be hard at first but worth it in the long run. Never give up!

[Lazy_dog_lover in reply to finefrenzy127]

Add to your journal daily wins and gratitudes so there is always light.

[finefrenzy127 in reply to Lazy_dog_lover]

Very powerful! Thank you

[Jay2O]

Hi Jerry. Why not rather concentrate on making great friendships with people instead. Much joy can come from being around those who understand and are there for us. Who knows - perhaps one of those relationships could turn into something more special. You mentioned childhood trauma. Not sure if you have discussed things with a therapist but it could certainly help. Well done for having held down a job even though you say you often find this difficult at times. You must start to be more gentler with yourself because the past is in the past now. And these are different times. It`s a different world. You have so much to give. There is so much goodness in you and you must believe this.

Regular daily exercising outdoors if you can - either running or walking etc. will help lift your spirits and also energize your body. You can add to this a healthier diet. Lots of fruit and veggies and maybe iron supplements. A good balance of vitamins.

Depression is tough yes and dealing with past trauma equally so but overcoming this is quite possible. Give up the struggle. Give life a chance. x

[SirGrits]

I agree w/ Jerry and dog lover. Try and string together small wins, build habits. Outdoors and journaling and such. My own personal recipe is walks, journaling and video games. Since it's relationships you crave, try and do stuff around other people; eventually and friendship should come to you. Just try not to force it, try to relax and let it happen. And definitely open up to a therapist. He/She should give you great strategies for facing your anxieties.Prayers bro.