I hate everything

Bad attitude. I want to break my fingers.

[JAFOman]

That's home most of the time for me. Something specific start it or just one of those times?

[Hidden in reply to JAFOman]

Thanks for responding to me. I'm not well. Can't focus.

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

Sarah dear, I'm worried about you. I still say your mind is all over the spectrum.

That's why you can't focus. Have you called your doctor or therapist? Something's

off. Please get the professional help you need. You're not alone, we will support you through this. xx

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

I actually haven't called my doctor or therapist. But I'm calmer than I was 6 days ago. I'm sorry for my overwhelming outburst. I still don't exactly feel well and I'm not sure that I will. I think the right doctor and right therapist would help me but I'm not sure if they exist or how I'd ever get to them with low motivation to seek help and everything inside me resisting asking for help or even admitting I need help to anyone who might ask including if my doctor asks and no income and no insurance soon. So I'm really not sure what to do. Actually I had a doctor's appointment regular physical check up last month or so and she asked about anxiety and depression and I said I was fine. She went with it. I don't think my doctor knows what to do about me. She always acts nervous around me. But I'll probably never see her again.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Im just hoping for a miracle to help me. I keep on going until then... I'm a little scared about where I'll end up but I'm hoping I can just make it through the days without making big mistakes.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I am trying really hard and mostly I'm successful in conquering and im trying hard to just be the best I can with what I can, which is disappointing to me like I'm not doing enough. But I need to be nicer to myself and remember that God loves me and tru to work from there.