need a bit of hope

[gabrielle00]

been feeling pretty down. i try so hard to get better. reached out to a therapist, i dont think she’s a good fit. just switched medication from prozac to zoloft. still oversleeping. still sitting in bed. still without a consistent routine. hard to he present. it’s been five months. i know i need to grow in my self love, self compassion, and confidence but i dont know where to begin. i know what my ideal self looks like but i dont know how to get there. i feel overwhelmed.

[Hidden]

I get it. I myself have fallen pretty hard. I recently had to go to the ER because of massive surges in my anxiety. And now I feel like I am back at the starting line. But that isn't true. I am not at the start and I can still be proud of the progress that I have made. Just like you should be proud of the progress you made. Progress is not linear. Remember that it's all about those baby steps. They are the most important part of healing. They are also the hardest to take because they seem the most daunting. But as long as you keep trying you will get to your goal. The thing is that you don't have to aim for your final goal right away. Break it down into smaller parts and work on the smaller parts first. You can't jump from having trouble getting out of bed to climbing a mountain. You start by getting out of bed everyday and working from there. Slow at you own pace. Lastly, don't beat yourself up for falling. It's going to happen inevitably. Not because you are bad or because you have failed. It happens because we are all human and things sometimes happen that make us feel sad or hurt. It's part of life. But so long as you know that you can be better and you are working towards that you will get there. Just remember to not compare yourself to who others are today. Only compare yourself to who you were yesterday.

[gabrielle00 in reply to Hidden]

hey endofheartache. thank you for your response. im so sorry to hear that youve been experiencing surges in your anxiety! was the ER helpful? how are you doing now? and i appreciate what you said about taking baby steps. thar’s something that i really struggle with. i tend to make huge idealistic goals that make me disappointed

[Hidden in reply to gabrielle00]

It was and it wasn't. They did treat me for something non anxiety related and so I will see if that helps but who knows. I am at a point in my life were I just get so overwhelmed so easily that I cannot function as a person most days. It's really difficult and I feel completely alone most of the time, I don't really have anyone in person to support me. So I do my best to try and get better but I am only human and it's not easy. I struggle with baby steps too. I find it very hard to forgive myself any mistakes or to accept that I am making progress when I do. So I know where you are coming from. But I keep trying because I want to finally start living my life instead of just coping with it. I know it's hard but what I think would do us both some good is to keep a gratitude journal and at the end of each day write what we are grateful for. To remind ourselves that it's okay to not be okay and that we are allowed some happiness even in the dark times.

[gabrielle00 in reply to Hidden]

i hope it gets figured out soon. i wonder if your anxiety could be linked to another health issue? i know it’s easy to feel alone when you dont have much of a support system physically near you. what i try to remember is that even though i can’t see everyone’s faces or hear their voice, there is a real person behind each username who is trying to help me. also, i like the idea of keeping a gratitude journal. ive been trying to at least think of things im grateful for every night.

[Hidden in reply to gabrielle00]

I have no idea honestly but I am getting tests done so we will see. Honestly my life has been pretty awful since birth so it makes sense why I would be falling apart right now. I am happy to hear you are taking this small step. It is wonderful and you should be proud of that. I also like your comment of reminding yourself that there is a real person trying to help you. Feel free to PM any time if you want to talk. I am online a lot usually so I am around.

[HisDaughter in reply to Hidden]

I am very glad that both of you have been able to share and connect! I've suffered from depression for many years and I can relate to both of you because I have experienced intense sadness and hopelessness and loneliness and despair. There were years when I felt that I was just existing, like a plant, without accomplishing anything or making progress in life. God put us all here on Earth and He wants us to give our life to Him and have a relationship with Him. Even though I have always had a Bible and have known about God, it's been hard many times to sense God's presence and feel close to Him. But I know that He can help us. I believe that it is important to meet with a counselor or therapist regularly. Our feelings and our challenges can prevent us from seeing things the right way, but a professional can provide guidance and help and also support.

[HisDaughter in reply to HisDaughter]

Gabrielle, if your current therapist is not a good fit, you can find yourself another one. Also, another thing that many doctors have said helps a lot is walking outside. I don't know if it is possible for you to go out for walks regularly but I know that it can clear your head while also helping you physically. Keeping a gratitude journal is a great idea! I have read that it helps a lot too.

There were so many times when I would stay in bed a lot during the day and had no motivation or desire to do anything else. But, then, I started to listen to Christian music while I was suffering lying in bed and the music would help.

I don't think that getting better happens overnight. But if we help ourselves we can improve some of our symptoms.

I hope that God blesses us all.