What’s Wrong with Me

[1BrightStar]

I am having a terrible time. It’s like all of my symptoms are dialed to 10. If something doesn’t go my way or the way I thought it would go, I get so mad. I cry and I want to scream and it’s a terrible feeling. I had to get rid of a bunch of my pajamas and sheets because they felt like sandpaper on my skin, and the feeling makes me panic and cry. I can’t eat certain foods anymore because the texture makes me want to vomit. Don’t even get me started on smells. I’m zoning it all the time, and I can’t concentrate on anything. These are all symptoms I’ve struggled with before but they’re so much worse now, and I’m frustrated and disappointed and depressed. I don’t know what to do. My therapist and parents don’t believe me. I don’t know what to do.

[Agora1]

Hi 1BrightStar, I can understand you some. When our life gets out of control and we feel as if we are trapped in a corner, everything is magnified. The frustrations and anger build until we feel as if we will explode.

Since crying and screaming can't take it away, we tend to focus our anger/frustrations on material things. The pjs/sheets/food/smells. In a way, it gives us control over something.

I do believe how you are feeling. I'm sure your therapist must have worked on your anger as well as delve into what caused this. Did something happen to you when you were younger that took away your freedom of choice?? I'm glad you are here with us BrightStar. Maybe by talking with others in how you are feeling will help immensely in knowing you are not alone. xx