I just want to end my life....no one cares about me nobody I try so hard to making myself happy but it not working out well for me....I feel so worthless,so cold and dead...I put all my efforts to make people happy but they end up treating me like trash I feel so bad everyone abandoned me even my family too cause of my mental health issues is like twice bigger than earth...I keep trying even if I know I gonna fail,I can't breath it pulling me apart....this is my first post ever on here I had to find my courage to type all cause my hands are actually shaking...
Anxiety,BPD,ADHD and depression is re... - Anxiety and Depre...
Anxiety,BPD,ADHD and depression is really eating me up
Written by
Annie_01
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60 Replies
•
Im sorry that your family isn’t being compassionate towards you. I hope that you can be compassionate toward yourself. Watch Kristen Neff on YouTube she talks about it well.
It not working out😢😣
It is hard. I haven’t figured it out myself. Do you live with your family or have you moved out? Something that helps me at least look forward to something is moving out... but also makes me really anxious and I go down a spiral of thought. You seem to be kind hearted if you are trying to make others happy. Maybe volunteer at an animal shelter? Dogs and cats are a lot more appreciative than humans sometimes. You’d make them happy and they could do the same with you, even if it is temporary.
Naaahh they moved out...
Can you try to see a therapist or a psychiatrist? Also, you can go to an emergency room and ask for help. You sound like a very nice person. Try to give yourself every chance to feel better by seeking out professional help and perhaps medication. Let us know how it goes.xx
I can't go anywhere or seek medication
Good Day Annie. I also wanted to give up a lot of times, and I've lost people due to depression. It breaks my heart to hear what you are going through. I was told too many times that I should not always try to please people. My husband is a great example of that. Even I wish I could be like him. I wish I could help you better. Just know that there is always a choice. I didn't want to make it last year. I wanted to throw everything away. I don't know what changed, but something did. I admit that I am not healed, but keep on pushing forward step by step. Bruce Lee said that if you just keep doing what is right, that you don't need to worry, at least not you yourself and in the final days. I really hope you get better.
Thanks so much for your words
I’m so sorry you feel like that . I’m going through the same but . It’s all about keeping those negative thoughts to one side. I’m ok one minute and down the next but . You need to look 👀 outwardly and focus on what’s around you . You are coping and courageous go and treat yourself do something to make you feel good and try not to beat yourself up . There’s plenty off people out there who will do it for you . Life is for living and getting the most from it . There’s so much out there . You’ve got this x
Kenny when you have the chance will you help yourself and listen to what Dr. Tracey Marks and what Dr. Daniel Fox is saying too. I want you to be ok too. They both are helpful its just that I like Dr Fox his style is different . Take care. Remember to be compassionate with yourself and reach out for healing. Some of us need more help than others theres nothing wrong with that. I cannot take losing any more people . Who can say how much grief and trauma a person can take pain is pain. Goodnight Kenny. Take care
The fact you are here and you keep trying tells me you are a fighter!! Be proud and work with that. People will always let you down even with family. I love the idea of you working with animals. They are the greatest at loving you unconditionally! I got myself an emotional support animal. His name is Hickory. One night I was having a real emotional sorta night and my kitty climbed up on my bed, laid his head on my stomach and put his paw on me like he was hugging me. He really helped me out that night. Here he is that night. Keep fighting. There will be good days and not so good days. Remember there are people out there that love you. We all do!! ❤❤❤
Hickory hugging me
Woow that so caring of him.... I got two dogs last year but they died...a Pomeranian and Eskimo
I am so sorry about all you are going through. One thing feeds the other. The truth is that everyone is alone, even those with families. It's nice to have someone to hold you and give hugs but those of us with emotional and mental health issues feel the aloneness more intensely.
I don't know what resources you have but seeing a therapist and psychiatrist is probably important to get you started back on the road to a happier life. While I am not a fan of meds, they can be helpful in modulating the mood swings, so they are not so deep.
If you have no insurance, your county may have some sort of mental health services. Generally, there is always someone who will help you. It may not be your friends and family right now but it may be someone who cares about you without strings. Reach out your hand and find that person who can help you get started. It is one foot in front of the other. It is very hard work but pays off over time, as long as you stay with it. If you stop taking the meds, self medicate and ignore your diet and exercise, you may need to begin again.
I know you can do it. There are also resources through ADAA, who hosts this forum. Keep us posted on how you are doing......and get doing! We will be here.
Been there; done that! Looks like you are SUCCEEDING in working towards a better YOU! Keep up the good work; you are making progress.👍
Yeaaa thanks so much💗
PS. my daughter is Annie! And she is great too!😍
Please don't give up
I gave up on everything but I try to put myself together ....because am a fighter I can't give up just like that..a solider at war never gives up even when he is wounded
Hi Annie I too have felt this way. Don't give up. Please see a doctor medication definitely helps . Keep fighting I have good days and bad days but you need to try and push negative thoughts away and do something positive when you feel that way. You are going to be ok ❤️
Yeaaa but the thoughts keeps coming but I try to be good and keep myself together even if it really hard
For me to it was like constant thoughts , but I got on celexa and it takes a few weeks and I'm telling you those thoughts go away . You may still have some anxiety but it's more manageable. It's better than living like this trust me. Also when I get those thoughts I do something constructive it will help change your thought pattern. Go for a walk or some sort of exercise helps . Also starting a new hobby
Yeaaa you're right💖celexa is it a drug??
Yes it's a prescription for anxiety and depression . It really helps a lot of people like us. Your dr can go over your issues with you and prescribe what is best , there are other ones like celexa too. I had days where I really thought I was going crazy and needed to go to the hospital, but it's all in our brain . It's a scary feeling like your going to die , but you won't . I'm also starting to see a therapist in March just to talk and learn coping skills
AWESOME
truth spoken in your message
Oohhh
Take a deep breath Bobbie
Don't say that Bobbie
Know that you are loved as a child of God. I will say a prayer for you. It sounds like you are in real crisis. Have you thought about going to the emergency room? There are treatments that will work for you, just hang in there!
Naaahh never thought of going there.... Thanks so much for the prayer and your word💗✌
Try to be objective in your decision making. I'm sure you treat people fairly and with kindness. Try to shift your focus to what advice would you give a close friend going through what your dealing with. I know it's difficult to step 'out of ourselves' but sometimes that's a necessary step to get better. Peace to you! Remember you are loved and deserve to be happy.
Hi Annie. I'm so sorry you're feeling this way but give it a bit longer still. A whole lot of us on here can empathize and it's so traumatizing with suicidal ideation, I know. I have been there and one time I had to go stay with someone for awhile because I was afraid of what I might do (to myself). Everything just seemed to be too much to handle and I called the hotlines a few times too. Some were helpful, some not.
The fact that your dogs crossed the rainbow bridge hit me hard, as my old companion did the same last year at the age of 17. It happened at home and I held him, put my head on his big chest. He was a Chocolate Labrador Retriever and I had him since he was a puppy. Of everyone, he was the one who stayed with me and he was my lifeline. I make this point because I lasted all of one month before a friend strongly suggested I adopt a rescue dog, which I did. Now she is my lifeline. She's a Newfoundland who had been abused, rejected, abandoned, and needed love. That's what keeps me alive now. I wonder if you can adopt another companion animal? Having one to care for and one who will sit with you can help a lot.
Annie_01• in reply to
Age 17 woow he stood by you for a while....I am trying to get one One or two dogs if possible but I don't know where to get a rescue dog...I tried checking the internet but it didn't see what I was looking for
• in reply toAnnie_01
Yeah, it does take awhile to find the right one. But it's fun to look at lots of puppy pictures in the process and learn about them. I tend toward large dogs so I used one called DogsXL (for extra large lol) and Petfinder. You can enter your criteria and they will send you some dogs to consider. I don't know if it would help but I also suggest a site like Pinterest, which has a lot of fun categories and it can be really cathartic to build image boards, some call it "curating". Pinterest is free, too.
Annie_01• in reply to
Yeaaa that true...I would try doing what you said I should check online for dogs.... Thanks so much💖
CatsamazeADAA Volunteer
Welcome Annie. I am so sorry you are in such pain. It’s awful to feel you can’t take another step. But you did take the step of not just finding us but also reaching out. One thing I can tell you is that nobody on here is going to make you feel like trash and nobody here is going to abandon you. We are a refuge and we’ve all been to (or are in) some very dark places. We know. Glad you’re here.
Hi Annie, I have not read the comments but the response certainly suggest you are cared about. I can empathise with a lot of what you a saying, the cycle of hurt, the negative image of one's self and have seen the light through the darkness.
The strongest bit of advice I can give you is this, and it comes from an open heart:
One of the hardest things I found (And many who I work with) when I nosediving/spiralling is Being Accountable. Let's face it when you feel terrible about who or where you are, admitting it's partly (of fully you're responsibility) is not going to make you feel great. Put simplistically Accountability means you have a part to play in whatever situation you are in, then you realised you had Control of the overall outcome (Internalising), therefore taking Power back. Once you admit you have power and control you can change the story and outcome.
It was hard to get there, changing conditioning and habits take a lot of effort and discipline (again hard when you’re not feeling great) but in short “if you do tomorrow what you did today, you will get tomorrow what you got today” – Benjamin Franklin. So what does anyone have to lose?
I listen to a lot of talks around changing mindset – and easy YouTube search can help but Dr Joe Dispenza is my go-to for changing perspective/being more conscious, Mel Robinson for changing habits and Adam Roe has this brilliant talk about self-love "Treat yourself like someone you love" – but I do dip into other talks for variety and different perspectives. I make sure I listen to one talk (most times revisiting) every day.
Sending love and positive energy your way
I been there before. Communication in all forms has always been hard for me so it has led to failed relationship after failed relationship and all my other issues just piling on top of it. This website is a very good place to start because the people here don't judge you because they have dealt with the same things or things very similar to you. I know I myself have shook so bad writing was hard as well as felt worthless, cold, and dead inside as recent as yesterday. The key is finding the right combination of things that help you specifically. My suggestion is take people's advice and try anything you think might help and go from there. If it helps you keep it as a tool to help and move on to the next thing to try until you have 3-5 tools to help you to start with.
Yeaaaa I love this site so much.... I would try that too... Thanks so much for taking your time to type 💝✌
With this site I have learned how much I enjoy offering advice and guidance from my almost 41 years of experiences from my ups, downs, and everything in between
That so great
Annie You are worthy not worth less. Let go of making other people happy and let that effort on others be directed at yourself. Gentleness gentleness compassionate and very gently give yourself a hug or rub your arms or legs . Or trace your fingers with the other hand and breathe in going up each finger and breathe out going down. If not this then something else that will help you to become grounded. Be patient gentle and kind with yourself while you reconnect and soothe yourself so your anxiety can decrease. Gently be gentle and patient. TDo you journal or have a therapist that you can talk to also ? If your struggling to the point please call 911 or go to the ER because you are Annie and noone can replace you. I have been listening to Dr. Daniel Fox and Dr. Tracy Marks and psych2go and its helpful and informative. Have you ever watched an inchworm or a caterpillar as they move? Slowly slowly a little at a time. Stop and then going again gradually little by little smoooothly. Very very smoooothly. I like the orange it feels warm very warm and comforting.. Do you have a favorite blanket that you can wrap around yourself? Or does a warm bath or shower help you or can you put your blanket in the dryer for a few minutes? I do care Annie and see how others care too. Please have an open mind. I have been listening and taking notes and decreasing the inner critic . There is real hope . Its not going to be easy and I know its scary and the inner pain can be unbearable overwhelming too yet i just wanted help and Dr. Daniel Fox and Dr. Tracey Marks helped me so maybe they can help you . It doesn't cost anything yet they both provide good information that can help you to rebuild your life. I kept helping other people too because I care yet also as a way to avoid working on myself. I'm making some progress. I think my family has stepped back so I can do what needs to be done. I'm in an inner battle too yet I'm using self talk too and challenging my thought beliefs and emotions . I believe in you Annie. I believe you have already taken a step by coming onto this site and being honest. Google tap listen. I listened to Dr. Daniel Fox and also Dr. Tracey Marks and in my opinion they both have a lot of information that helps. Take care Annie.
Wooow this is so touching....I take hot shower when I know I can't control myself... Thanks so much for your words
I am just touching base with you to see how you are doing today. I've been thinking about you. Hope you're better today. Take care
Am trying My best to be good wbu..... That so nice of you💗
AnnieI pray that in the name of
Great Hidden Powers that the Hand of Healing rest on You Annie and all that you touch so your life WILL AGAIN BE WHOLE!
Thank so much💝
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