There is this guy that I became friends with a couple of months ago, we met on Tiktok, This guy seems like a very nice guy, he calls me his best friend and he tries to be there for me but he's not really good at advice, but he tries, he does have Autism and sometimes he gets depressed and all that and I try my best to be there as much as possible. I noticed that when I first met him online that he is very obsessive like he would send me thousands of messages every day and send me videos and send me memes and it kinda bothered me because it was every single day and I know he just wants to be a good friend but I don't also like being open to him only because I don't know him well enough and even if I did I don't like to be open only to my therapist. He told me that he shows so much love for me that's how he shows his love for our friendship and all that but sometimes it gets to the point where I think he's in love with me because he flirts with me and he wanted me to send him pictures of me every day because it made him feel better and he even said that we needed to start doing that so that we can be happier and be more positive but I think he only wanted the pictures to make himself feel better because every time he sees a picture he says I'm cute or his heart beats so fast for me and all that and sometimes he sends me memes and I just like them and I don't say anything about them because I get over 100 or more memes or pics or videos. I thought maybe because he has Autism that he's doing all this because that is his way of showing love for our friendship, I did tell him that he and I could only be friends because he is I think 19 or 20 and I am 24 and he doesn't live in my hometown and there are times where he says I hope we one day meet and all that and Lately when he sends me memes or videos or messages sometimes I don't reply because I don't want him to think I am always available and sometimes I just like his stuff he sends me because I just don't know what to say to him, I am glad him and I are friends but there are times where I feel like he oversteps and I try my best to be there for him and sometimes I check up on him and lately I think he realized that I haven't been like showing him attention because I am a college student and when I do school work I focus on that and so I start to see him kinda distance me but January was my birthday and he sends me a message saying happy birthday and I noticed that on all my social media he would put happy Birthday and I would say everytime thank you and all that so I don't know if he wants my attention and maybe im not showing it much and so he does these things to get it, like a couple of weeks ago or last month he told me I should do Youtube because he watches my videos everyday on tiktok, and I told him I wasn't interested in doing Youtube he kept asking me a million questions about it and I said I don't want to do Youtube I do Tiktoks because people don't have to hear my voice and all that and he just made it seem like he was kinda obsessing that and there have been times where he told me to send him voice messages and I would and he would say like he thinks my voice is beautiful and he wants to hear my voice everyday and he sends me memes telling me that hearing my voice makes him better or it makes happy and i just can't always drop what I am doing to send him a picture or a voice message things that he wants that I don't want to do or maybe I am overthinking everything like I said people who have Autism show love in different ways so I don't know if all this is him or if he is in love or what this is. What do you guys think?
What do you guys think? : There is this... - Anxiety and Depre...
What do you guys think?
Maybe you can tell him how you feel when he is sending you those messages . Be honest with him but be kind in a sincere way . I have a autistic sibling myself but he is on the mild spectrum
That's true I can tell him the truth, I just don't know how to tell him or bring it up without hurting his feelings because he told me that his friends stopped talking to him because I guess he was doing the same things he was doing to me to them and I guess they didn't understand why he was doing it and that is why he was very vocal to me about him losing friends because of how he acts and how his autism is and how he lost a lof friends because of his autism.
I don’t know what to say about this issue I feel for both of you I understand how you feel and I understand he is trying to be friends with you . I don’t know I am really sorry ❤️
It's ok thank you for trying.
Your welcome ❤️😄
Among all the other challenges,obsession is a part of the Autism Spectrum and it is present in your friend's response to his relationship with you. He doesn't set out to be this way,but it is how his brain is wired. Aspies long to be in a love relationship just like the neurotypicals,but do not have a clue about how to navigate this experience, hence the excessive and awkward advances. Because of a lack of understanding, there may be also be inappropriateness (overstepping) and repetitive insistence ( a million questions). You seem to be a kind and compassionate person and he seems to be a nice guy ( Aspies usually are) but you are dealing with a challenging condition. I believe that your friendly, completely innocent overtures are being misinterpreted ( happens on the spectrum). As a burgeoning love interest, what happens when you move on as I expect you will? This can have some dire effects for a depressed young man who is perhaps pinning his hopes on you returning affection. Don't tell him about what he is doing wrong because Aspies are often treated as wrong and flawed individuals and it hurts them. Begin to pull back gently but firmly - no more sending of videos, pictures and voice messages. One birthday greeting and one thank you is sufficient. The occasional call will do but know when to end conversations because they can be repetitive and never ending. The occasional motivational short message will do. Set boundaries because you are busy but you haven't stopped being his online friend.
I am not a therapist but I can tell you all of this because I am the mother of a 29yr old high functioning Aspie ( Aspergers Syndrome), brilliant but emotionally challenged. I know the struggle because I live it. Be blessed.
Thank you for the advice, As I said I am happy to be his friend and I am happy to be there for him but at the same time I can't always be there for him and I don't want him to think I'm not going to be there for him like today is his birthday and he has been posting very depressing stuff about his birthday and I messaged him trying to be there but I can tell he's being distance with me and I totally understand where he is coming from because when I am depressed I get distanced but I don't like going on social media and seeing all the depressing stuff he posts it brings me down and I am trying to get out of my depression and all that.
I found myself breathless by the time I reached the end of your post. I wondered why and noticed the punctuation had just disappeared. Punctuation is so important in life since it allows us the breathe and be; to create boundary and to build flow. It shows us when to stop and start and pause. If we take the punctuation as a metaphor for your relationship with this person it was there at the beginning and peters out.
Just reading your post made me feel uncomfortable and overwhelmed and I just wanted it to stop. I suspect this is how you feel about this situation but are just uncomfortable about how to bring it to a natural or comfortable end. It may not be possible. Pugs are beautiful dogs who just want to love and be loved. What dog are you and what dog is he?
As an editor. I especially love your analogy, Galician. You feel so strongly about so many things regarding this situation, Iiovepugs, that you want to get it all out as quickly as you can. I do that at the start of therapy sessions sometimes. No periods, commas, or semicolons to slow me down. Without the punctuation I overwhelm myself and my therapist. By slowing down and taking a breath you may see things more clearly. As for your new friend, there’s good advice in all of these posts. Know that this is his way of expressing his fondness of you and appreciate that. But set firm boundaries straight away. Of course you can proceed any way you like; this is just a suggestion based on my own experience. Wishing you the best!
Quite frankly I would run as fast as as I could in the opposite direction this friendship is not healthy or normal even if he does suffer with autism ...take care and make other friends who won't cause you the stress that person obviously does xxx
having a not normal relationship is fine I have seen many people with disabilities who have a relationship and they live there life .
I understand that but I don't want to have an unhealthy relationship with someone or with someone who has disabilities. I don't want that person that has a disability to think it's okay to step over boundaries, my friend knows what he does is wrong but he still does it and like people say there are boundaries and he may not know how to do it and that is why it's best for people to be open with them vs. not telling them because if u don't tell them they think it's okay.
Thank you for the advice.
Even if someone is autistic that doesn't mean that can't understand emotion. You need to establish clear boundaries if this relationship is going to continue. The thing is, conflict is part of a relationship. In order to be healthy you have to express yourself as does the other person. this comes with the risk of getting hurt on both ends. Such is the price we pay for connections. No one likes criticism. However, these steps must be followed. So you must express how you feel and set boundaries that you find healthy. Again, it doesn't matter if the person is autistic or not, this is the only way to have a healthy relationship. Conflict is part of cohesion.
Thank you for the advice, I will talk to him about it.
My heart goes out to both of you. Be careful how you proceed. You are dealing with a different brain that may not interpret things in the same way as you do. What is healthy criticism for one person may be absolute devastation for another. You are both in a fragile place and it's OK to take steps to protect your mind,be at peace and do well at that college degree! Be blessed.
Thank you for the advice 
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