I am outgrowing life with the spouse, but am really stuck for now. Can barely stand to look at them. Definitely don’t want to be touched at. all. by them. I’m wanting more and more to be with someone I actually look forward to being with and being physical with. I have actually NEVER felt that with them. Even dating, being intimate was something to get over with. I thought that’s how relationships were. First being emotionally bludgeoned growing up and then with the person I married. I guess it shows that I’m not a masochist. Subconsciously I must want to be treated better in order to want to give love freely. I figured that out a few years ago and realize it more and more. No wonder I recoil at intimacy with people who treat me like crap so often.
But now, it makes me so incredibly sad and frustrated when I see couples who want to be together and who don’t argue and butt heads over almost everything. I thought that was the norm.
Do I have to accept feeling like this and not being with someone I’m crazy about? Will I go through the rest of my life not knowing that? I only fixate on this because, let’s face it, physical/emotional passion is a basic human state that needs nurturing and satisfaction. A part of being human.
Went from being numb to feeling everything
Feeling empty and miserable after a break up with someone I thought I would marry 
Feeling so miserable!!😭😭
Miserable 
Anyone else feeling even more miserable after therapy? Pls help 😭
