Went from being numb to feeling everything

[itgetsbetter5]

I’ve noticed in the past few months I’ve been feeling so emotional about everything since starting therapy and being honest with sharing my thoughts and feelings to the people close to me. One of my therapy homework was to let my guard down to help with my focus problems, but lately it feels like I’m either sad or nervous and sometimes neutral. The thing is I haven’t felt instense emotions in the past 2/3 years, question is ,is this a good sign of recovery or is this my social anxiety getting worse? I hope anyone can relate to this too.

[kenster1]

its ok to cry its a natural emotion when I cry I feel better for it.

[Agora1 in reply to kenster1]

I do too kenster1. x

[kenster1 in reply to Agora1]

yeah I had a bit of a week that I was down couldn't really shake it off.i have a box with old letters bills kids old school work things like that but also birthday cards that my late son never received.when I came across them I never even looked inside I placed them at the top of the box.after about an hour or so I was watching womans golf of all things and when the European team won that's when I shed a tear.strange as that's how it comes out in me more but I never hide it.

[Agora1 in reply to kenster1]

I no longer hide it either. There was a time kenster back when I was agoraphobic that I cried daily for those 5 years. (even when in patient for 6 weeks) The nurses

put me down by embarrassing me to leave the day room unless I'd stop crying.

When I got out, I eventually stopped. I think it was a cathartic release of something

deep down, maybe fear and anxiety. It was the start of healing for me.

Now if and when I do feel touched by emotions, I may cry for a few moments and

welcome the release I feel. It is not wrong to cry. It's a human touch of sadness we feel. Someday, I will open the box of mementos my mother left me before she passed. I know the tears will fall but I'm not ready yet. Thanks for sharing my friend xx

[itgetsbetter5 in reply to Agora1]

I’m sorry to hear that you went through all of that but I’m glad that you’re better and healing.

I too was agoraphobic back in my highschool days and only went out for school and nothing else.

I could say I’ve improved over the years and now doesn’t find it too hard to come out of the house.

I still find it hard to cry especially infront of my family, I never do unless I’m alone but lately I haven’t been able to hold it back and cried on my way home on the tube and on the train, but it definitely helped to let it all out and made me feel a little lighter.

Thank you for replying and Best wishes 💚♥️

[Agora1 in reply to itgetsbetter5]

itgetsbetter, best wishes to you as well. Life is surely a

learning experience which can only make us stronger. xx

[56artist_]

It is part of recovery healing the mind I know how it works in same boat myself 40 yrs anorexia been in treatment near 7 yrs and anorexic numb emotions feeling they are merely existing now recovered I have strong emotions no more numb we laugh we cry we get angry so I guess I am human now lol

[itgetsbetter5 in reply to 56artist_]

I can relate so much to this, I’ve made a habit of checking out “spacing out” when I’m in social situations so I didn’t feel anxious and scared but as time went on it made me feel numb, but now I’m glad I’m starting to feel emotions again since being more open about my social anxiety. Glad you are feeling more human now haha 😊💚💚

[56artist_ in reply to itgetsbetter5]

Lol love it when we can look past our issues and your haha made me laugh you go

[Hidden]

I experienced a similar reaction but more so as a result of starting medication (Buspirone) to address my anxiety. For a couple weeks, I'd have mood swings from crying to myself for 15 minutes to a feeling of euphoria playing with my kids. Once I became more stable on the meds I did notice that I found it easier to open up to people, especially my wife, and allowed myself to be a bit more vulnerable.

Though it felt unusual to me, experiencing emotions was a positive sign of progress. At least in my case, I numbed myself to feeling anything as an unhealthy defense mechanism which caused my to heavily withdraw and not address problems in a healthy way.

[itgetsbetter5 in reply to Hidden]

I don’t take medication but I too have used the same numbing defense mechanism to allevaite the intense anxiety I felt in social situations. Now I’m back to feeling anxious and nervous and tensed again when I’m speaking to other people, but I have faith that I’m going at the right direction with recovery.

[NeuronerdDoaty]

I call it the D/A Cha-Cha. You’re okay. It’s going to happen and you’re going to make it through. Use your coping skills. Talk it out.

[KaleidoscopePicture]

I think it's good to feel emotions. When we keep it all down and bottle it up all inside, that's not healthy. I know that I feel better after I release my tears. It is a relief. I am proud of you. I think it shows progress.