dumb

[gabrielle00]

im 20 yrs old, a junior in a prestigious college, and I am so stupid compared to my friends. i am not deeply knowledgeable about and thing, k can’t retain information, im not smart enough to be witty, I can’t carry out a conversation, I dont know any movie references. for those of you who may know a lot about one thing or are really passionate about something, how did you gain knowledge on it? how do you delve deep into a subject like pop music? how do you stay up to date with current events or pop culture?

[Hidden]

So first off you are not stupid. If you got into a prestigious college I am sure you had to have some merit to your application to get in. Second sometimes talking doesn't come easy to people. I am very smart I know a great deal about a lot of different things but I still can't talk to people to save my life. Lastly, just because someone knows a lot about one topic doesn't make them smart. I have known a lot of people who are really good at one thing but just don't know what they are doing for anything else. As far as learning about passions goes, well it's sort of self explanatory. If you are passionate about something you will spend a lot of time focusing on it, thereby gaining knowledge. Give yourself time. You are young and you will find your place. When I started college I was behind in math and history but caught up on my own because I wanted to learn. I was not as prepared as any of my other classmates. I didn't have the same opportunities they did but I still got two full bachelors degrees. Work at your own pace. Do what you need to do for yourself to be successful and stop comparing yourself to what your friends do. You are valuable all on your own. And your friends would not be friends with you if they didn't see any value in it.

[gabrielle00 in reply to Hidden]

how did you catch up though?

[Hidden in reply to gabrielle00]

Literally by putting in the work. I started out in an introductory math class. Like 6th grade level math. Then worked my way up to calculus. There is no magic trick here. There is no special formula that will make this happen. As others have pointed out if you don't enjoy something you are not going to learn it. If you don't enjoy math it's not something that you are going to really absorb. I know two people who are incredibly good at math. In fact they know things about math that I didn't even know existed. That is fine. Does this mean I am dumb? Not in the slightest. It just means they have more of an interest in math than I do. Same thing with tech. I know someone who is really into things like coding and radio wave frequencies. So he does things to learn and mess around with that stuff. I have no idea what he is talking about most of the time but does that mean I am dumb? No. I just don't care to learn about those things. Again, it's not that you have to know everything. You literally can't. Not even geniuses know everything. Hell even Einstein was baffled and confused by his own theories. Again, take your time to figure out what you want. Then go for it. That is literally all there is too it. This pursuit of trying to "catch up" to your friends is only going to hurt you. I played catch up because it was necessary for me to learn. Not because I didn't know as much as my peers. Look at it this way. I have debated people who have way more knowledge than me on a lot of subjects. I have not read as much as they have, I don't have as much information as they do, but what made me successful was I was able to use my own skill in understanding arguments to be able to debate back. Then here is another big point, I was never afraid to ask questions. If I don't understand a word I ask what it means. If I don't understand a sentence I ask for clarification. Again, it's not about being the best. It's about doing what you want to and being comfortable with who you are.

[LDRinpink]

I know a lot of movie references and pop culture references because I spend a lot of my free time watching movies and listening to music. My advice is to write down the movies and songs that your friends reference and try to watch those movies and listen to that music so that you can understand them. It’s hard when it’s people that you haven’t seen movies with, that they’re referencing. Usually the only people that know my movie and music references are my family and my best friend of 15 years. I want you to know though, that not knowing pop culture does not make you stupid. I’m sure you are knowledgeable on other things that interest YOU. Don’t be so hard on yourself

[dan3891]

Hi Gabrielle, I'm sorry you feel the way you do right now. As already pointed out, if you are in a prestigious college, then you cannot possibly be stupid. Maybe you do not have knowledge of current pop culture but that does not mean you know nothing or are not intelligent.

I hardly know anything about current pop culture, music, or references either. I just do not care for it actually, but that's just me. If you really want to get current with pop culture, music, or anything else, only do so because you really want to and are passionate about it, not because you feel obligated to or are trying to "fit in." And if you do not care for pop culture, music, or references, that's okay too, and that does not make you less than others.

What are you passionate about? When you discover something you really, really are passionate about, you will also attract friends who are just as passionate about that thing too. If you do not know yet what drives you and sparks a passion, don't worry, you still have plenty of time to explore and discover them as you're still young, and I'm not trying to patronize you or be condescending when I say that.

[gabrielle00 in reply to dan3891]

i used to be passionate about music, but im realizing that I dont even know enough. I know as much as any regular person would I guess so now im wondering how do I learn more?? I took some music classes in my school but forgot everything:/

[gabrielle00 in reply to dan3891]

it’s just hard like I dont find interest in anything anymore. school takes up my life and im always in my head feeling bad about myself for hours

[Hidden]

You're friends spend alot of time on things that are of interest to them, movies, music, etc. If you spend your time for example reading, you have great knowledge of books and authors.

You dont just study these things, they are part of your life and lifes experiences. You are far from stupid, your very smart to be in a prestigious school, how you spend your social, recreational time outside of school is my question. You have your own individual personality, being witty, off the cuff comes with being more social and outgoing, etc. Introverts vs extroverts perhaps.

[gabrielle00 in reply to Hidden]

the thing is that I used to be an extrovert. I was the life of the party and the one who could carry a conversation with people. but now I have so much social anxiety from my depression that I literally don’t know what to say. I spend my time just stressing about things and being in my head. i used to explore things when I was younger but once I started taking school more seriously, I was only focused on getting my work done and getting good grades that I didnt really do much else

[Hidden]

Who told you that you are not smart? I am afraid that you have a very low self esteem. Maybe you don't have interest in movies, popular music. Would you be surprised that i know more musicians from the 1950s and 1060's than current musicians? Many people are shocked by that. That does not mean I am not smart though. It is because I love good old music and there is the internet and UTube to deliver them all to me and I chose who I like. I even love Jazz and I don't know any person who listen to jazz around my community but that does not make me think that I am stupid. I have interest and passion in strange things. Have you ever asked yourself how come you are in college? Doesn't that mean you know something? Do you know an actor called Keunu Reeves? He is one of my favorite actors. It is a known subject that he is an introvert. It is said that he is a very quite man. They also say he doesn't talk much, as in he wouldn't start a conversation. Because of that, Hollywood claim he is stupid. Another actor named, Lawrence Fishburn challenged that belief of quite people being stupid. His question was, how can a stupid guy acts as John Wick. John Wick is a three parts of Keunu Reeves doing more or less the same thing. Those are some of his movies Keunu Reeves acted on. I know two or three things about him because I like him. That how I know much about him. If I was a superfan I would even know how many children he has and his wife but I don't know that because I am interested in his casual staff. I believe that you have interest in something but it might not be something popular. Don't think you are stupid just because you have interest somewhere else. There is the net and UTube if you want to delve into something. I hope this will shkw you that you are not stupid, maybe wierd maybe. Normal is overrated anyway