I'm not needed or loved. I'm just a b... - Anxiety and Depre...

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I'm not needed or loved. I'm just a burden.

Randomlonely profile image
24 Replies

I know you'll try to calm me down and make me think in a positive way. It doesn't work. It's just an illusion. How can I get rid of my pain? I wish I wasn't born in the first place to be in this cruel world. Why did my mom even decide to give birth to me. I wish I had the choice and I'd rather not be alive. I want to be gone. I want to get rid of everything and I'll also do a favor to the people that know me. It would be 100 times better. How can I be gone without pain?

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Randomlonely profile image
Randomlonely
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24 Replies
Dontwannablonely profile image
Dontwannablonely

I LOVE YOU!!!

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply toDontwannablonely

You're off to a good start in supporting :) xx

Agora1 profile image
Agora1

Hi Randomlonely, well you have already given me a challenge in trying to calm you down

and make you think in a positive way Hmm It's not an illusion if you believe in it.

We may have no choice in being born but we do have the choice in making our life meaningful. Oh yes, the world can be cruel at times but for the most part, people are good.

I've seen so many good people put themselves in harm's way to save another person's life.

Why would they do that if they didn't think life was a precious gift.

Your sadness and negativity are making you think that you would be doing others a favor by not being alive. Far from the truth dear one. We each have an allotted time on this earth. A time to learn, love and find who we were meant to be. It's during that lesson that we find the reason for living.

The is no "being gone without pain" The pain you would cause others who care and love you

would be so great. You are a part of this virtual family. We need you because we care so much. It's time to have a change of heart before it's too late. As a start I am sending you a

well deserved hug. Our paths crossed for a reason. Let's find what that reason is together :) xx

Randomlonely profile image
Randomlonely in reply toAgora1

Hi. Everything is temporary. I'm a human among many others. I'm not special. My family would be sad for a couple days and after that it will be like nothing happened and I'll be forgotten. That's the truth. The people who are here can't actually love me cuz they don't know me personally. They haven't even seen me or grown up with me.

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply toRandomlonely

Randomlonely, it's true that we are here on earth temporarily, so why shouldn't we make the best of this gift. Yes it is a gift and that is why each day is called "The Present".

Every human being is special. Think about what we are capable in doing, in thinking. Our brain is a fascinating work of art. It is capable in keeping us safe 24/7. It allows us to feel powerful emotions such as love and loss. We are all given the privilege in having choices in our life. What we think is what we get in life. The only person who is important is You.

It doesn't make any difference in what others may think about you as long as you love yourself. This life is about your happiness and finding who you really are.

Without even knowing, you have already made your mark in life with us. I can love you even though I've never met you in reality. I feel with my mind and my heart and that's how I make a connection with you and others needing help and support.

It makes no difference what you look like or having grown up with you. We are all one.

Just look around the world now with this Pandemic. Does anybody suffer less because they are miles away? No...and that's because we all feel the same emotions as a human.

If you were here with me right now, I would hold your hands and tell you how much I care

No matter where you live, I will always be your "sister friend" Believe my dear that you are just as worthy as any one else to experience the gift of life. :) xx

Sarah0816 profile image
Sarah0816

You are here on this earth for a reason . I know it's hard but try and fight those feelings . No one is better off without you. You need to learn to love yourself first . Please try and find something positive you can do each day. Have you talked to a therapist or try medication ? Things will get better 🙂 please reach out if you need to

Randomlonely profile image
Randomlonely in reply toSarah0816

Hi. I'm trying to feel better but then I think how there's no point of that.

Sarah0816 profile image
Sarah0816 in reply toRandomlonely

There is a point though. Every day you get up your still breathing so there is purpose. When you feel like that I know it's hard but try to go on a walk or if there is any hobby you can do ? No one is worthless in this world. You live for you no one else

Sankissjuice profile image
Sankissjuice in reply toRandomlonely

This is a dark phase. It will pass. I was just there recently because I tried to reduce the dose of my antidepressant, with doctor's approval. Point is, when your biochemistry improves, these thoughts will leave. Try taking some deep breaths?

Randomlonely profile image
Randomlonely

The reason I'm staying alive is my little brother and his smile.

Sleeplessme profile image
Sleeplessme in reply toRandomlonely

I could say the same about my tiny daughter, her smile and cuddles are priceless 😁

Imagine breaking that smile and killing myself. She might never smile again.

Randomlonely profile image
Randomlonely in reply toSleeplessme

You're right. They don't deserve it. They need us. ❤

Randomlonely profile image
Randomlonely

Sadly. If it was easier I would have done it a loong time ago.

EspressoBeans profile image
EspressoBeans

I’m staying alive for my cat (because as my mom says, I’m her whole world) and because I know science is constantly evolving and hopefully soon there will be a cure for depression.

EspressoBeans profile image
EspressoBeans in reply toEspressoBeans

It’s okay to only exist for now. As long as you keep pushing through, I believe things will get better. Not necessarily soon, and it won’t be easy. But I believe it will happen.

Randomlonely profile image
Randomlonely in reply toEspressoBeans

I hope so too.

I know how you feel. I feel like I'm a burden too. But I like to believe that God does not make junk. You were put on this Earth for a reason. Don't let someone else dim your light.💖

Have you ever heard the quote "Suicide doesn't end the chances of life getting worse, it eliminates the possibility of it ever getting any better." I have also felt this way. I have cursed the day I was born and had similar thoughts that people would be better off without me. But you mentioned in one of your replies here that you do care about someone and they care about you. You mentioned your little brother and his smile. And right there if you can hold on to that, you can make it out of this. It's not going to be easy and I wouldn't lie and say that it is. But there are things that make this place worth living in. You just have to find them. You are not alone.

Sleeplessme profile image
Sleeplessme

Unless I missed it reading these replies, here's the obvious answer. You say you may as well die because no one loves you or would care? What about yourself? Screw them all. I have many family members who are selfish self-centred... Scum, to put it mildly. Not only would they not care if I died, some would probably laugh. Really.

Truth? It doesn't bother me. I've one chance at this life. If things ever got so bad that I'd want to kill myself, then I'd make a different choice, I'd take myself somewhere else and try something new. You are more than capable of being happy. If what you're doing isn't working for you, do something different. If people don't care, find new people.

Randomlonely profile image
Randomlonely in reply toSleeplessme

It's true but somehow I can't imagine me being happy on my own. I've always been dependent on people and I always seek love, comfort and warmness from my close friends, family. When I love someone, (friend, relative etc) I want it to be like that forever, to get along with each other. I can't stand being alone. I want to get a dog as soon as possible to have someone that I love and to know that he/she will love me unconditionally.

in reply toRandomlonely

Hey, I want you to live. You seem like an awesome person. You know what helps me? Write out a list of things you like about yourself. I need to do that myself. I get so down on myself when I'm in a bad mood. I have journals and diaries all full of how much I hate myself. Why??? I need to stop that. There is a saying that you can't afford the luxury of a negative thought. As Pink would say, you are perfect!!!🙂

Sleeplessme profile image
Sleeplessme in reply toRandomlonely

You don't need to be on your own, just find new people. I started working away from home recently-ish, found a pub to eat in, and suddenly found a whole new group of friends, some of which will very likely become lifelong friends, if I could I'd live where they are permanently. And I should mention that I sometimes find it difficult to talk to new people, but good people make that easy. Life is a scary challenge but the rewards are worth it.

SuZQ154 profile image
SuZQ154

You are priceless! You are!! As cliche as it sounds, "God does not make mistakes." Reaching out here is a wonderful first step toward helping yourself and helping others on this site. We can all help each other! Prayers to you today!

Sankissjuice profile image
Sankissjuice

I'm sure many of us had felt or thought this way at one point of another. These negative thoughts will pass and you will find yourself wondering why did I even think that way before. Give it time to pass. Don't react or do anything...find things to be grateful for. I usually focus on my breath and say thanks that I can breathe effortlessly, even when other simple tasks are so extremely effortful. I'm sure you will get through this because I had. Many times. And many peopla had gotten through such dark phases too. Good job for reaching out! We are here for you.

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