Attempted suicide by a loved one

[Ofentse]

My boyfriend tried to commit suicide. He does not want to get help. I dont know what to do. I am so stressed and worried.

[Hidden]

Hi Ofentse:

Have you talked to your boyfriend why he had tried? There has to be a specific reason behind such an action. When someone does not want to get help it is another way of him telling you he needs help. It is reverse psychology. He needs to know how you feel about this and tell him if he is not willing get the help needed for himself then tell him it is for the both of you. I hope he knows you care for him deeply. Just from the little you posted I can feel what you are going through. The level of your concern as to how much anxiety this is bringing you. He needs to know what his actions are doing to you. Sending many prayers your way. 😊

[Ofentse in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. He witnessed his father being killed a few years back. And recently found out that his mother was behind it. He did speak to a therapist and then he stopped going to the sessions. Now he does not want to go back. He stays alone and I'm worried he'll try to harm himself when no one is around

[Hidden in reply to Ofentse]

Oh, I am so sorry to hear such a past he had to witness. Then finding out about his mother. He really needs to continue going to a therapist. The longer he stops the better chance he has of hurting himself. He may not want to go back but he really needs to with you at his side. Does he have the tendency to keep his thoughts within himself? Is he being opened to you on his feeling? After telling me on the background on where this has come from he is in a very deep hole which will take much effort to go against and get him out of. Yet, it is possible. You are a strong and smart person. Believe in yourself as in him. This is a battle you each should know you will get through. I had tough times of my own as him and was in one of the biggest battles as well but in a different angle. On my case though I had to face this head on alone. If you wish to message me please feel free to do so. I am always opened on helping others. Especially when it gets to states as you and him.

[Ofentse in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. Yes he does have a tendency of keeping his thoughts to himself. He opens up but not much and he thinks people will think he's weak. I've tried to tell him there is nothing weak about asking for help when you are drowning.

[melantha in reply to Ofentse]

Thank you for being so understanding with that. I don’t know if you’ve experienced depression yourself but not everyone is that understanding. He is lucky to have you. Depression definitely causes feelings of guilt as well as just wanting to isolate yourself and be alone all the time. He might not be able to show his appreciate at this time, but your love and understanding and patience are exactly what he needs right now.

[Ofentse in reply to melantha]

Thank you

[Hidden in reply to Ofentse]

With him keeping his thoughts to himself he is building up more stress and things will get worse. He needs to be completely open to you. Being completely open is a strength and represents no weakness amongst him. You may need to keep trying to tell him getting help is a positive thing as to a promise of things which will be getting better. You will never steer him in a wrong direction. I believe he knows that.

I know you are doing everything you can for him and in him he is thankful. To have you at his side as in his life. Please PM me if there are any specific questions you may have regarding this. Prayers have been continuously being sent you way.

[Ofentse in reply to Hidden]

Thank you

[melantha]

I’m so sorry to hear that

You are right that he does need to get help, but it can be so hard for a person to admit that. We didn’t choose to be this way, and for many of us it causes a great deal of shame. I didn’t seek help as early as I should have either, but I do see a therapist now.

Honestly one of the things that has helped me accept my problems the most is this website. It is so comforting to finally feel like I’m not alone in this and to have people who truly deeply understand. If he’s not ready to call a therapist yet then perhaps direct him to this site. It’s definitely not a substitute for actual therapy, but it can be therapeutic.

Best of luck to you both. ❤️

[Ofentse in reply to melantha]

Thank you

[Hidden]

If he is a harm to him or anyone else you can 302 him, they'll put him in the hospital for a 48 hour observation, maybe he needs that help. Love, peace, light, joy & hugs!

[Ofentse in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for this suggestion.

[Hidden in reply to Ofentse]

I've done it before with my son, they can get the help they need. Stay strong & do whatever you can to help him. Love, peace, light, joy & hugs!

[Hidden]

Sorry you're going through this. I had a loved one attempt suicide this past year. I had to call 911 and my LO was hospitalized for a bit, was given antidepressants, and scheduled for counseling services. He had a lot going on that he couldn't talk to anyone about, but he finally did when he was in therapy and although he's still going through depression, I'm not nearly as worried now as I was at first. Worry are stress are normal feelings right after someone's suicide attempt. Do you have any family and friends who are supportive, for each of you? Could you get counseling yourself? Have you made it clear that if he makes any other attempt, you will call 911? I made it quite clear to my LO I would not allow him to commit suicide under my watch; I got a lock box for meds, kept watch of any potentially harmful object, like shaving razors and the kitchen knives, and we don't have any guns in our home. I didn't even let him leave the house alone or give him any money. I don't know if you live together, but maybe some of your worries could be helped just by knowing that you've done everything you can do to be a help. Who else knows about his suicide attempt? Any physicians or counselors? Someone like that should probably know. And you could call 1-800-273-8255...the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.