Fears

[Dragon3695]

It is hard for me to admit to even myself when something scares me badly. Right now my biggest fear is my roommate's feelings for me never change no matter how healthy I get. I'm head over heels in love with her and she doesn't feel the same way I do because we were friends first and all she has ever seen or heard about me and relationships is all of them including my failed marriage were dumpster fires and that worries her. I know her feelings for me.not changing isn't the end of the world but I'm so scared because in 40 years of life I've NEVER felt so strongly for someone and the thought of not being with her is almost crippling me most days. Joining this site has helped make it less of the focus it was because I've managed to distract myself by using my life experiences to offer advice and try to help others. However tonight I find myself with it stuck on my mind and I'm hurting badly. I'm trying to keep it hidden because I don't want it making her hurt or feel pressured. Right now I just feel so scared and depressed that I don't know what I can do to help my situation other than moving out of just giving up on my feelings and neither of those are things I even want to think about let alone have to do. I'm so clueless some times.

[chefcc]

Hi There l, I can understand the anxiety you’re going through. I’ve been in situations where I had a bestfriend who I guess somehow I truly had feelings for too, or thought I did. Just feel what you feel and understand why you are feeling that way. It may be because you are roommates and in some shape way or form, your roommate is your family/ confidante or in general the person who is closest to us. If she was truly a friend she would understand, I can also understand that you don’t wanna scare her off or Make her feel pressured which is thoughtful and very considerate of you. Don’t be hard on yourself just take it easy, listen to some music or maybe some meditations that can help you clear your head and open your heart to what the universe has in store for you! Take it easy

[Hidden]

I once dated a guy that others thought he was the one so I allowed myself to love him. Turns out he wasn't interested. He said I was cute but just wanted to be friends. I was so hurt! It took time to get over it, for the pain to heal. I even confronted him about it years later...like 18 years later. He had started dating a Friend a few months after we broke up and they got married. I was so mad at both of them. I cried out to God and over time He brought healing. I have since married and have kids. I see him all the time but have made peace with him. You can't make her love you. You might consider moving out so you can move on with your life. As long as you are focused on her you are missing other opportunities to be loved by someone else who can appreciate and love you back. We all must come to terms with our feelings. Spending time helping others, volunteering can help. So many people in need. Be a big brother to at risk youth. You have so much to give...give to those who appreciate it. 💓

[Dragon3695 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your kind words. Helping others and offering advice on here has really helped. As for volunteering or anything in person, I'm still learning to be okay around other people especially ones I don't know because my anxiety makes dealing with others extremely difficult for me.