My parents are not helping my mental health...

[effystonem]

Everything was fine today until I came home from hanging out with friends and saw my dad. He wanted me to come home early to talk about counseling, which I did. He gave me a list of counselors from this Christian organization and I told him I didn’t really want counselors from there. He was asking why and I didn’t really know other than because of their religious affiliation so I told him I didn’t trust them and, “I just don’t,” when he pressed me more. He got mad at me and told me I was grounded and couldn’t go anywhere but work and I laughed a little as he was walking away, which pissed him off because he came storming back down the hall, yelling at me. He ran into my room and slammed his hands on my chair. He told me I’m being an a**hole, to which I responded, “Look at yourself.” He responded by slamming my laptop down. I’m not sure if I said something else but he grabbed my arms and pushed me on my bed, still screaming at me. I yelled at him, telling him he was being abusive and he yelled back at me that he was just restraining me. My mom came in the room at some point around here but just stood back. I pushed my dad off with my foot and he tried to push me again but backed off a little. He moved to sit next to me in my bed and my mom sits in my chair. I forget how the conversation went because everything they were saying kept being repeated and nothing seemed relevant. My dad tried to justify being a good parent, with phrases like, “I probably sinned against you.” and, "Well, I didn’t hit you.” They kept going on about how they’ve been concerned about me and want to help. My dad blamed one of my newer friends as the reason for me being “rude” to them. I told them I at least try to be respectful to them and not curse them out or anything, which my mom quickly interjected with, “Well, you did just curse at him,” referring to when I said, “What the f***?” earlier because my dad slammed my laptop and forcefully grabbed my arms. Other than those notable bits, they just kept speaking like a broken record about how they try and want to help me. My dad kept going on about how he wants to hug me “so bad” right now, but won’t because I wouldn’t want him to. No s***, sherlock. At the end, my dad said, “Well, you have to give one of us a hug and I don’t think you want to give me one, so you pick. I told him, "No." and, “You guys can just hug each other,” numerous times but my mom got up and lightly hugged me anyway. My dad also said, “I still don’t want you going anywhere but work and we need to talk so I’ll give you thirty minutes.”

Needless to say, I was crying for quite a while after that. If I didn't need therapy before, I definitely do now. My dad hasn't come to my door yet and my mom has a few times trying to give me a hug or talk to me or give me the cat. I let her give me the cat but only because I thought she might be happy with that and leave me alone. I'm not really sure what I'm going to do about them trying to ground me, because they usually forget about it anyway and I feel there is little reason for it. Also if anything, it might be harmful to stay in the house with them for extended periods of time.

Thanks if anyone read this far, I don't know what the point of this post was other than to get my feelings off my chest.

[Hidden]

I think your parents mean well but I can see they're coming off the wrong way to you. They are probably frustrated too with everything going on, and sometimes it can be hard to find good counseling services. Try to meet them halfway. Maybe you could look up online counseling services yourself, such as Better Help, and talk to them about the kind of person you would like to have as a counselor. It's worth a shot. Try to keep communicating with them, don't shut them totally out.

[Hidden]

As a parent, parenting doesn’t come with an instruction manual. Parents job are to keep you safe, secure, instill values that they believe are in your best interest as you are still a minor. But one day youll leave the nest and be able to grow and change and make choices for yourself, this is the cycle of life.

If you aren’t interested in their counseling ideas, do some research and present them with alternatives you feel may be a better fit. Otherwise, try to be patient with them, ask them to be patient with you too. Anger, throwing words at each other just fuels the fire. Showing disrespect is what gets you grounded, they feel you are testing them when they are trying to help you, at least that my observation here and my own experience raising two daughters.

Shutting down is never the answer, let them help you. There’s many here that do not nor ever had parents willing to put your health and well being as a priority. Wishing the best for you.

[FearIsALiar]

Hi! I’ve actually had similar experiences to this when I was younger. I still do since I’m living at home still but very rarely this happens unless a fight between a sibling happens and I am the one who caused it.

I’m sure your dad was having a rough day and wanted to help you. I understand what he did definitely didn’t help at all but really I’m sure he did not mean bad by that. Sometimes we all can be mean when having a rough day. Your dad definitely does love you if he’s wanting to help you get the help you need.

Definitely try and keep your cool and before reacting take some deep breaths (which sounds silly but it does help) or even listening to some music with headphones.

With the counseling, I really think you should give it a try. Who knows maybe you’ll enjoy it? You just don’t agree with being Christian, is that correct?