Bad day

[BlueMoon29]

My depression has been really bad today. Crying off and on. I thought I'd be tired enough to sleep but can't stop thinking. I keep dwelling on the past and missing my old life, thinking about things I should've done differently. I hate this feeling. It's beyond sadness, it's heartbreak and hopelessness. I know it'll go away whenever but right now it sucks.

[JW621]

Feel better

[BlueMoon29 in reply to JW621]

Thank you, I'm trying.

[BrianTR]

I have that problem to and it makes it so hard to sleep. I don't necessarily miss my old life. Just having a hard time figuring out where I belong now I guess. Also love the name.top 5 favorite beers. I hope it gets better soon.

[BlueMoon29 in reply to BrianTR]

Thanks, for you too. I actually picked the name for the ice cream (and color) but I do love the beer and never noticed the coincidence lol.

[Agora1]

BlueMoon, they say that thinking about the past produces depression. Thinking about

the future gives us anxiety. Since we can't go back and undo our wrongs, we must stay in the present moment where there is no right or wrong. There is only the moment we are in.

You're right in that this hopelessness and sadness will go away. It's time to put those thoughts on the back burner and get some sleep. Breathe.........Breathe..........Breathe.....

Let go of the past, it's over and gone. You can't change it so don't waste your energy on

something you have no control over. Breathe.... Tomorrow is a new day, put your energies

into making a new life for yourself. Life is about going forward and not looking back. xx

[BlueMoon29 in reply to Agora1]

Thank you. Very wise words, so true. Makes sense why my anxiety hasn't been so bad because I'm not thinking of the future, only the past. I think I lost a bit of hope for the future is why. I know I can't change what's already happened and should be focused on creating a better future but I don't have many means in doing so right now. I'm a little stuck. I try to think of things I can do but lose concentration and go right back to overthinking.

[Agora1 in reply to BlueMoon29]

This is how anxiety gets us stuck in a cycle of fear. It puts these doubts in our mind and brings up all negative scenarios. These do us no good except to allow us to continue

spiraling downwards. You may be a little stuck right now, but none of us know what is

waiting around the next corner. What if you won the Lottery lol ? Whenever I get stuck, I go to YouTube. I know for sure they have videos on "Overthinking". It might

be worth checking out. xx

[BlueMoon29 in reply to Agora1]

If I won the lotto then at least half of my happiness would come back lol. I was just thinking to try a video on YT or someone had mention the Calm app before. I need to sleep now so I stop sleeping all day and repeating the cycle.

[Agora1 in reply to BlueMoon29]

Exactly BlueMoon, somewhere along the way we need to break the cycle.

If we don't we keep spinning our wheels and going no where. Baby steps in

going forward will get you to your goal. Calm app is good.

Sleep meditations using relaxation or self hypnosis on YouTube are great

and last throughout the night. Hope you find something that helps. Remember

though, it's not just a one time shot. This must be a daily practice so that your

subconscious mind will get flooded with these positive thoughts.

Goodnight zzzzz

[BlueMoon29 in reply to Agora1]

Yes, I do need to incorporate it into a routine. Thank you. I feel a bit better. Gonna try and find something positive to fall asleep to. Goodnight 😊

[hypercat54 in reply to BlueMoon29]

If you have stopped worrying about the future think how conquering dwelling in the past will feel.

We all do it though but try putting a time limit on it, then deliberately turning your mind to the present again. It's very hard at first but gets easier with practise.

[BlueMoon29 in reply to hypercat54]

A time limit is a very good idea because then I won't feel as bad if I do it but I won't be consumed with it. I will do that, thank you!

[EuroJoy]

I hear you. Do you pray to God? I think there is a God who hears, especially when we are sad and broken hearted. Also, is there a hobby you can take up that will help you to look forward to the present effort and future, for example finishing the project?

[BlueMoon29 in reply to EuroJoy]

I haven't prayed in awhile. I'm recently trying to get back into my faith. I lost touch with it.I really want to start online schooling but don't have the money right now. I've been going for walks and getting back on workout routine which does help me feel a little better.

[MMoth in reply to BlueMoon29]

Great steps. Keep going, BlueMoon. About online schooling, why don’t you look for a free class? It won’t count toward a degree, most likely, but it could be great for your brain.

[BlueMoon29 in reply to MMoth]

That's a good idea to pass the time for now. Thank you!

[Espejo1024]

Hi Blue Moon. Virtual hugs from afar. I'm sure you know that everyone has increased anxiety and stress during this COVID lockdown. I don't know if that will help you but you are NOT alone!!! Some of the natural things that help me have been to get outside and take a walk. I live in Ohio and it's pretty cold out now so my walks have been shorter than summer! LOL Also, listen to encouraging and inspirational music helps me so much. Have you tried yoga or meditation. I have about an hour every morning to do my prayer, music and devotional time. It has helped to ground me before I begin my day. Another great idea is to start journaling to write down ideas. Do you have close family or friends to talk things over with? Or a counselor is always a good option to learn ideas from them. And lastly, the thing that helps me the most is to focus on others and how I can help them, then my mind works overtime to help make things better for them. When I do that, my problems dissolve! I'm be praying for you. xoxox

[BlueMoon29 in reply to Espejo1024]

I go for walks too and right there with ya on hoping for an early summer! I do virtual therapy but because we've been discussing some deep topics I sometimes feel worse after. Music I love. I probably do that the most. I agree with you about helping others. I feel my best and most focused when I am. Thank you for the prayers! Prayers to you as well 😊

[Hidden]

Maybe you're trying to sleep right now, but my anxiety levels have gone haywire and I'm having problems sleeping. I've slept for a lot of the day. So I come on here and just be annoying I guess!!! I bet eventually you will get better.🙂

[BlueMoon29 in reply to Hidden]

Unfortunately I didn't sleep well last night so I slept most of today too 🤦‍♀️ I really need to break that cycle.I'm sorry you're unable to sleep too. I'm going to try and start listening to meditative sleep videos tomorrow night. Have you tried any?

[Hidden in reply to BlueMoon29]

Yes, I go to YouTube and look up meditation music for sleep. Some music puts me to sleep better than others. Sometimes you can listen to stuff like waves crashing on a beach or rain falling. Or you can listen to guided meditation for sleep from Jason Stephenson or Michael Sealey. Or even just listen to some soft jazz music or classical music like Moonlight Sonata. Plenty of choices!!! Do what works for you!🙂

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I'm just staying awake for now, I will probably try all that myself in a half hour.

[BlueMoon29 in reply to Hidden]

I like Michael Sealey's stuff, very soothing. I like ASMR videos too. They usually put me to sleep as long as my anxiety is low.

[Hidden in reply to BlueMoon29]

I've watched or listened to some ASMR videos, I think some of them are kind of funny. But sometimes it helps to laugh at something. And they can be soothing.

[BlueMoon29 in reply to Hidden]

I'm one of the people who get "tingles" as they call them when you see or hear something relaxing. I never knew it was an actual thing until I found ASMR a few years ago. Certain sounds or visuals can instantly make me sleepy. But there are some different ones out there like the people who eat food. I don't like those sounds lol

[Hidden in reply to BlueMoon29]

People eat food in some of them??? That might just make me hungry!!!

[BlueMoon29 in reply to Hidden]

Lol yea. Apparently some people like the sound of crunchy foods. I just like the food 😅

[Hidden in reply to BlueMoon29]

I could go for some fettuccine Alfredo right now, sigh.... I need to eat healthier, have some more salads and fruit. I'm way too overweight and I have the January blues where I feel like a bear that wants to hibernate, but tomorrow I might at least go for a half hour walk unless I need to shovel snow in the morning.

[BlueMoon29 in reply to Hidden]

That sounds soooo good right now! I could eat pasta every day. I've been getting back to my workout routine. The first day I was sure I was dying 😅

[Hidden in reply to BlueMoon29]

Yes, I have been lying in bed way too much!!! Okay, tomorrow is another day. I will make an effort to be more active tomorrow. Maybe even try doing some sit ups and push ups and eat a salad for lunch. You have inspired me, believe it or not!!! Thank you.💖

[BlueMoon29 in reply to Hidden]

That's awesome! I will do it with you. I'll work out and try to meditate myself to sleep tomorrow night!

[Hidden in reply to BlueMoon29]

Yes, you'll always sleep better if you've had more physical activity during the day. They say sitting is the new smoking. Good luck to you!!!

[BlueMoon29 in reply to Hidden]

Yes, sleep is much easier when you've been active. Good luck to you too! We'll catch up later!

[sunandbutterfly]

I hope that today is a better day for you. I am glad that you have been seeing a counselor. Rest assured that it can get better despite the increase in struggle at the moment. Prayer journaling and listening to music definitely are helpful for me. Exercise is helpful too.

Have you tried grounding strategies or asked your counselor for grounding skills that you can practice when anxiety rises?

Hope that helps.

[BlueMoon29 in reply to sunandbutterfly]

Thank you! I'm still a little blah but at least didn't feel like crying. I do have some techniques for anxiety that work pretty good. I do feel better after a workout too if I can muster up the energy to get through it. I need to fix my sleep pattern.

[Sugold]

Regret is an awful thing, ain't it? Doesn't really feel good... I get it. But since thinking, "Okay, maybe I shouldn't have gotten on this path, but I could get valuable knowledge/things from that life too", It doesn't feel so bad anymore. What happened, it did, and you can only walk into one direction from where you are now.