social anxiety

[honeynectar]

anyone know how to deal with social anxiety? i get nervous in public i think everyone is looking at me. i assume everyone is thinking about me & everyone is watching my every move

[Relics]

I struggle with this a well. I wonder what my actual concern is. Is it my fear of something - I.e. someone harming me physically, judging me and hurting me emotionally ? Or am I just vain enough to think that anyone cares? And if they don’t care - does that upset me? Why does it upset me? Which fear is greater ? The truth that thy may all be watching me ? Or the truth that no one cares ?

[honeynectar in reply to Relics]

yesssss ikr

[Rafiki11]

Are you on the younger side? As I get older, I care less about what people think. (30s)

Half the people you think are watching you are worried you are watching them. The other half probably don’t even notice you. They’re busy thinking about what they’re going to make for dinner, how mad they are at their husband, or what they’re going to post on Facebook.

[honeynectar in reply to Rafiki11]

i’m 17. and ur right honestly. people are already dealing with their own issues

[Rafiki11 in reply to honeynectar]

What you’re going through is so common that social psychologists named it the spotlight effect. Your social anxiety just makes you feel it more intensely.

Big hugs! It gets better!

[honeynectar in reply to Rafiki11]

thank uuu!!

[honeynectar]

uh. i hope it works.

[honeynectar]

ahaha good idea

[MrSweatingTV]

I am struggling with that too. It used to be very bad, but I learn to work around it from advice in books and videos. One thing that seem to work is to observe the other person or situation whether than focus on yourself. Observe by asking yourself the "who, what, when, where, why, and how" about the person or situation. The other is to prepare yourself in different situation like people study martial art so well that they prepare to react with confidence. That said, the social anxiety still get hold of me now and then, and my mind freezes without reason. I still have lots of trouble handling telephone calls. Internet and email served a good buffer for me. It is an ordeal that I can't explain to people in my life.

[Hidden]

It’s hard. I feel you. Yes, remember that most people are busy with their own thoughts and not actually watching or judging you! Try imagining a bubble around yourself where other people can see you but their thoughts can’t have any affect on you. Make it your personal space to be yourself and do your activities without caring about what other people think.