At the moment I wish the ground would just swallow me whole. I did some stupid stuff and now I have to face the consequences of the stupid things that I did. I don’t know how to make things better and I’m in a lot of (excuse my language) shit.
Edit: how can I regain someone’s trust after completely shattering it? 😭
hi your being honest you made a mistake and that goes a long way in helping with the situation.
I've made many big mistakes and still paying for it. I try to practice acceptance but it is difficult
It is and its hard to have acceptance when things can be heartbreaking and confusing at times
I how you'll be ok. I'm here if you want to chat
Everybody messes up. God knows I’ve been there. I’m sure you’ve done what you can to make amends. I think the hardest part is not beating yourself up...having compassion for yourself. All you can do is take responsibility for your mistake and do your best going forward so the other person sees that they can trust and rely on you. Hugs.
I tend to make the problems bigger in my head than they actually are, but this time I feel like I messed up really bad and I have no idea how to make it up for them. The thing is they said they’re never going to forgive me even once they’re dead and they’re in their grave... I apparently said something a few months ago that made them really upset (I don’t even remember saying those words), but they held on to them and they might hate my guts now. How do I show them that they can trust me? I really don’t know what to do! 😭
Sounds like this is a really painful time for you right now. Its definitely complicated by the fact that you can't remember saying whatever it is that has caused such an extreme level of upset.Unfortunately it sounds like this isn't something that can be fixed right now.maybe over time that will change. But for now, if you've apologized and tried to make amends...well, that's all you can do. The rest is their call. They get to decide how they feel in the afeter math, and that's simply something we have to respect of them and their pain. We can't always undo the mistakes we make. That's why it's so important to learn from them.
Its a good chance to practice respecting them and their feelings by giving them the space to dictate what happens next. Its practice in respecting yourself and acknowledging that mistakes happen and that this is something you don't want to happen again, so put in the time to work out why it happen and how to prevent a repeat (with this person, if that's ever an option, or someone else). Respect the lesson and acknowledge the power of words for good or ill.
And move forward.
I’m so sorry to hear that your friend responded that way. It sounds very painful.
Many times there are misunderstandings in conversations and talking through them is the best thing, the only option, but it sounds like your friend is unwilling to do so? Depending on how long you’ve known them, I would hope that they would know who you are, and that you wouldn’t knowingly hurt them.
If they are unwilling to talk it over, and the relationship is important to you, maybe you could give them some time? I hate to think that you are sacrificing yourself, feeling terrible about yourself, over a misunderstanding.
If we hurt someone, I think we need to do our best to make amends, and leave it there. All we can do is try our best to do better, you know? Hope you can offer yourself understanding and comfort. Hugs.
Thank you so much for your time and advice. I’m sure we will work something out in the end and our relationship will be stronger than ever! ❤️
Remember that if your friend is so upset, you mean a lot to him/her. Pikely they really want to be close to you too. Focus on what you want and express that to him/her. I d really want us to be close friends, let me know what you need from me. I think this is all you cam do. Also, just because they experience it so intense, doesnt mean you actually did something wrong.
Thank you so much for your advice! I will work it out eventually. I hope that time will heal all wounds! ❤️
Dear Fatima_sh, us wounded / ill people tend to find each other, I think because we both “get it.” That also means that things can spiral out of proportion. I am so sorry that this relationship blew up. You have owned what is yours, even though you are not sure what it is, and that always takes courage.
As for your friend / loved one, it is hard to accept, but there is no sure way to get another person to change how they think and feel, and what they decide to do with that. I hope and pray that they will turn towards forgiveness, but that is their choice.
What you said is now causing you pain, too, through the consequence of their response, and as much as you would like to, you can’t turn back the clock. Here is where self forgiveness comes in. Something you did hurt another and hurt you. That’s real. But it doesn’t define who you are, and who you will be. Prof. Bob Enright has some good material on the forgiveness process.
If you are a Jesus person like me, remember the very powerful forgiveness resources there. The whole universe runs on it.
Thank you so much, propjock. My conscious is killing me at the moment because of guilt and I can’t even sleep at night. I keep thinking of what happened last night and the hurtful words that I’ve said a couple of months ago. Now that I know what I said that day I think it’s stupid and I can’t believe I actually said something like that. I don’t think I can forgive myself at the moment because that I’ve done is bad and they don’t deserve it, but I keep telling myself that it’ll get better. Problem is I don’t know how and when, but I guess it’s harder to rebuild something than to tear it down and all we need is time.
I’m messed up 
Today I feel like a mess 
I'm really Messed up in my Head
Mess 
Feeling shut up all the time
