Breakdown

[Daisyblue3]

Ok so I joined this because I had and am slightly still having what I am pretty sure is a panic attack and I am just breaking down because of COVID and how everything has changed and I’m just so scared that it’s not going to go back to normal. Before all this I loved my life I really really did and I was so excited about the future. But now with everything going on I’m just so scared that it will never go back. I didn’t have this fear until this night because I kept saying to myself it will just pass and life will go back to normal 2021 will be different there is no way it the world is going to stay like this but then I don’t know why maybe because I just did two all-nighter for school but I got to thinking well I didn’t think there was anyways there was gonna be a world wide pandemic and look at us now. And then I when and looked up will the world ever be the same on google hoping to see things saying that it will basically be but that is not what I found. And so many things said different thing but it just got me to thinking all the things I wanted to do it’s all changed and I don’t know if it will go back at least not until I am at an age that I have missed my time to do all these things. I am a senior in college this is when my real life stats and these next few years are when I really supposed to be my independent self and start my life and now I am so worried that I’m gonna lose all that. I just really loved everything and I wasn’t scared or nervous for the future and graduating and my job I’m majoring in that I am so passionate about and have wanted to do since I was in middle school, I was so exited for it all and now I won’t be able to do it not properly and how long will it be like. And I know it sounds stupid and selfish and ignorant but o just don’t think anyone around me will really understand, like they will get it but not fully.

[FearIsALiar]

Welcome to the group 💗

I totally understand how you’re feeling. It’s a tough time for everyone! We all are in this together. Things WILL go back to normal but no one really knows specifically when. But I’m hoping it gets under control soon.

[hurtingheart1]

I’m sorry - you’re not alone at all though and it’s good you’re posting here!! It’s perfectly understandable that you feel all this!!!💞💞🌻🦋t’s just not the way it should be right now for anyone really!😣it’s very hard to adjust to things changing soo drastically!!😱

[Daisyblue3 in reply to hurtingheart1]

Thank you. I know it seams small but just hearing that the way I am feeling is ok helps so much, like part of my knows its ok to be feeling this way and have a hard time with all this, but another part is also saying how there are others going through so much worse and I am here worrying about if I’m going to be able to travel within the next few years, or got out at a bar for the first time, or go to a concert, or once I graduate and get my art teaching degree have school online. Like I’m comparison to the terrible things others are going through stupid for being upset about these things. And I don’t want to tell people how I feel cuz I feel weak for being so affected by all this while others, though they are still struggling, they are able to adapt and will learn to be ok if life doesn’t go back to normal. And I just don’t know if I would be able to adjust to the way I was before all this if things don’t go back to normal and I feel weak and selfish and privileged for thinking that I wouldn’t be able to do it and that I a part of me would be depressed. And I don’t want to be depressed because I was so happy, like i am an optimistic full of life energetic person and i don’t cry easily and get easily upset by things and I have been crying for like over 3 hours now because I’m worried I might not end up loving my life and I don’t feel like me and I don’t want to show people this.

[hurtingheart1 in reply to Daisyblue3]

Ahhhh (((((Hugs))))) to you don’t b soo hard on yourself tho I know I feel some really similar thoughts!! You are only human and only know what you know as you’re able to know and absorb it!!! And it is overwhelming!! Ppl shouldn’t make others feel stupid or weak for feeling this way!! It’s not up to them to judge!! Each person is an individual and their emotions and life experience and situations are all different not 1 sz fits all! I get I I feel like inside I’ve always tried to look at things optimistic and glass half full but some things jut come and get me down sometimes and or mess within the chemistry of things somehow?? And it gets me really sad I don’t feel like myself again!! Like it’s like it’s not really me !-because inside I know I’m truly A happy type person - I wanna dance and sing and go to Disneyland and run and laugh and make others smile and be happy to!!🤣☺️🤩 but this thing just sucks the livin life outta everything and others can’t deny and pretend it isn’t changing things soo much and that it isn’t hard to deal with!!😱 it’s like we could have pandemic burnout or something or maybe a form of ptsd from this pandemic almost??? I knw it’s important to take it seriously but also the emotional effect is important to pay attention to as well!!💞💞🌸🌻

[Hidden]

I totally understand . I can't even see my friends😢 . It's been rough for me also. I don't even have senior prom because of stupid covid.

😡

[Hidden]

You will be fine, slow down and breathe. You will have your time, just like your peers. You have your whole life ahead and it will be good. This too shall pass.