Hello everybody! Hope everyone is doing well! If not, hang in there!
Disclaimer: I am not a therapist, but I do have the DBT certification of completion. I’m posting these skills to help others, and to help myself. When we teach things we understand them better.
This is still part of the mindfulness module, talking about awareness. The how skills are a group of skills that talk about the mindset of when we approach life. In order to experience reality as it is. The nonjudgmental mindset is about reducing our thoughts of « this is good, this is bad, etc »
When I first started this skill, the term « judgement » held a negative connotation. I had been nudged by others in a negative light, or I myself had judged others. That was really the only way it was described to me. However, in DBT, judgement is referring to the labeling of things. An example of judgement is staring at an artwork piece and thinking it’s good, or it’s innovative. Judgement is really about placing opinions on things we experience.
In mental health, especially with depression, we tend to judge our own actions in a negative way. Such as I’m weak, or I’m lazy. When I started to really understand this skill it was just about accepting my depression as it was. If i was laying in bed, the thoughts changed from I’m lazy to “ok this is a depressive symptom, when I lay in bed and lose motivation.” And than eventually I used other skills to combat that symptom.
In order to adapt the nonjudgmental mindset, there are a few things to consider.
1. Stick to the facts. An example of this in anxiety, is noticing those anxious symptoms. Maybe you’re mind starts racing or your heart starts pounding, or you feel sick or have “butterflies”. Just label it as a symptom of your anxiety, but avoid saying “I shouldn’t have anxiety right now.”
2. Be aware of safe vs unsafe. There have been times where I have been unsafe, when self-harm urges comes up. It isn’t bad that I’m having these urges, but it’s not safe. When I label self-harm as bad, I feel worse usually. When I label self-harm as unsafe, than it’s a reality that this could damage me.
3. Be aware of your values, emotional states, and wishes but don’t judge them. In my last relationship, I would have wishes to have an official relationship, and than criticize myself for wishing that. “Ugh, I sound pathetic”. A nonjudgmental approach would be to recognize that I had that want, and simply accept it. “Ok, I want an official relationship.” See? Stick to the facts.
4. Don’t judge judging. If I’m practicing a mindfulness meditation and I start to wander I’ll think “ugh, how can I let my mind drift, this is stupid.” And than “oh my god, I’m judging, I’m dumb.” The nonjudgemental approach would be “ok, I was judging, but I’m going to try to focus from now on.”
Some ideas for practicing nonjudgemental ness
1. Describe an event that triggered you emotionally, but try to write it out with a nonjudgemental mindset
2. Count your judgmental thoughts. Remember to avoid judging your judging. This practice is about bringing awareness to our judge mental thoughts, and when we become aware of them, we can than alter them.
So that’s the nonjudgemental mindset! If you feel like it, think about, or comment, a time when you had a judgement, and THAN try to adjust that thought to a Nonjudgemental thought.
Real life ex. I’ve been having some trouble getting up and starting my day when I wake up. I’ll usually think something like “I’m lazy” but a nonjudgemental approach would be “ok, I’m getting distracted when I’m trying to be more productive.”
Maybe how it is...is okay 
So low for how high? 
How do you deal with panic attacks?
How do you find the motivation to do the things you need to do?
My soul is tired. Wonder how to find peace! 
