Do you find yourself feeling obsessive over others' behaviors?

[GoldenMaknae97]

I noticed that I obsess over my boyfriend's text responses. I overanalyze everything he says and dissect his words and wonder why did he say it like that? why did he take x amount of time to respond? Is he losing interest? What did I do wrong? I can't even go a day without talking to him on text message because I feel extremely anxious and jump to the conclusion that he doesn't wanna talk to me and doesn't care about me. He says I worry too much and that I should relax. It's almost impossible for me to be relaxed, I feel like I need to be reassured 24/7 and I can sense he gets frustrated by it sometimes. What can I do to help my situation? I have classes for my masters but its all online and In between Im always checking my phone or won't even focus on my assignments because Im more worried about whether he texted back. It's pathetic and obsessive. Sometimes I think I'm not actually in love but obsessed, or maybe both...IDK

[ARTYMIS]

Hey! It's okay to worry about all these things. You need to remind yourself that you are worthy and loved. You are completely valid to feel anxious about it, your human. It is also okay to feel the need to have that extra reassurance too. I think that you need to practice more patience in your relationship and trust that everything will be okay with you two. I think also ever since quarantine and staying at home more often is making you ruminate all of these thoughts, further making you worried about if you're doing anything wrong. You also have to understand that he can be busy too, just like how you may be as well. You got this! I hope this helps.

[FearIsALiar in reply to ARTYMIS]

Well said & very helpful!

[GoldenMaknae97 in reply to ARTYMIS]

thank you! I just need to remember to make myself a priority

[FearIsALiar]

Yessss!! I always take things the wrong way. It’s hard knowing how people are reacting or feeling through text. It’s easier to call

[GoldenMaknae97 in reply to FearIsALiar]

yes!! I just wish we'd talk more. He doesn't like talking on the phone :\

[FearIsALiar in reply to GoldenMaknae97]

My ex boyfriend didn’t like talking on the phone either. Are you guys doing long distance or what? I know how u feel

[GoldenMaknae97 in reply to FearIsALiar]

no that's the thing. We live in the same city but like 30 mins away. our schedule only allows us to see each other on weekends and I usually have to compete for them with his friends or family

[FearIsALiar in reply to GoldenMaknae97]

Aw man

[Abigail_Wenderson]

Hi GoldenMaknae97,

It's human nature to have such thoughts when you love or care about someone, but you need to trust him and have faith in him. Because if no trust is there, there is nothing. Talk to him, discuss with him what leads you to think this way. Understand his schedule and time. You both can fix a time for talking, and the rest of the time, you can focus on your work, which will help you work efficiently and don't let you worry about him.

I hope it helps you.

[GoldenMaknae97 in reply to Abigail_Wenderson]

Thank you! I read on it and it’s very OCD-like behavior /:

[Abigail_Wenderson in reply to GoldenMaknae97]

I know, but you need to overcome by yourself, you know you're strong, and you can do it.