I am tired living this way. I m currently living with my parents and whole day I have to pretend to be Happy and fine. I m tired of pretending, whole day I m just controlling my tears and whenever I go to restroom or get alone time. .I cry. Still I am not out of tears. I think of talking to them but I can't. I type paragraphs to post stuff here and then just delete it.
Even in my last post I wanted to say something else and made it something else🤦. I have always been an introvert but not under confident. I have lost all of my confidence, I do not even have the confidence to step out of my house in my balcony during day. I prefer to go out after sunset and avoid everyone by walking on darker, shady roads. Everyday I console myself that today is the last day, and everything will be fine tomorrow. I'll be better tomorrow but it's just getting worse every passing day.
Written by
Kirinita
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
If you’re living the same way every day and it keeps getting worse, can expect any changes by continuing to live that way? Perhaps there are things in your daily routine that need adjusting. Try to find those things (if there are any) and make meaningful changes change takes time though, and it’s hard, but possible. If needed, you can find professional help. Try to keep your mind positive and believe in yourself. I believe in you I wish you the best!
I tried a lot of things exercise, walks, yoga and painting. All helped for a while but m back here. I m a student and was preparing for an exam from last 6 months ...I studied hard and really good. And in the middle of exam got anxiety attack...first time.
I knew the answers so well and just messed up☹️. Now m waiting for the results and remembering how I messed up ..is making it worse I feel. Everyone have so much expectations from me. They think I performed well...but I have not told anyone wat happened there. 😓
Those things that helped for a while, are you sticking with those? If you revert back to your old ways, you’re putting yourself back in the position that you felt worse in. Are there other things you could try? Have you considered talking to a professional?
Yes, have to push myself really hard to move out of my bed. But still manage to go for a walk and paint little bit. Seeking professional will involve my parents too and I Don't want that. My parents won't be able to take it easily specially mom.
That’s good! Keep doing those things that help Do your parents know about what you deal with? If a professional is what you need to get better (I don’t know if it is or not), wouldn’t your parents want that for you? I think your parents would want you to be happy, and I think they’d be willing to help you with anything, even if it means professional help. I agree it wouldn’t be easy to talk to them about it, but I think their love for you would be more than enough to get through it. I don’t know your parents though, so I could be wrong.
Please consider talking to your parents, it doesn’t have to be a whole lot to start with. You can simply say that you have a hard time and could use some help, and then when you’re more comfortable, you can share more details; however you wanna do it You said you live with them, so they’re right there with you! Help is right there, in the same home if you let it.
I have tried talking to my mom, she kind of knows m dealing with anxiety. The last time I talked to her she took it very seriously and I saw her struggling a little. She's a cancer survivor and since after her surgery and chemotherapy, she has become very sensitive and physically weak too. Seeing her suffering, I couldn't gather courage to talk again. Still she's always trying to cheer me up and it makes me more emotional. She's already dealing with a lot yet she stands for her child and m not able to cope with this.
It’s like I was saying, your mom’s love for you inspires her to help you with anything despite her own challenges. She wants you to be happy! You said yourself that she always tries to cheer you up she loves you!
If your mom already “kind of knows” then not knowing for sure and having to guess might make it harder for her than actually knowing. As a parent, she might think it’s worse than it is. Talking about it would show your trust, and allow her to understand what’s really going on, easing her worry (if she’s worried), and give her an opportunity to help. With everything she’s gone through, I bet she could be a huge help to you and if she can help you, wouldn’t that make things easier for her too? She could feel good about helping you, lowering stress, she wouldn’t have to guess what’s going on, any worry would be relieved because she can take comfort in knowing you’re able to get help whenever you need it, and your relationship with her would be even stronger! Doesn’t that sound worth it? I really think she wants to help will you let her?
Have you tried medication? It is the only thing that has helped me over the last 19 years. I think I would be dead (Believe me, I would want to be dead) without it.
For me anxiety/depression is the worst thing I've ever experienced in my life.
Hi. I resonate with this a lot. I've done everything you wrote for years. Was at that point where I wanted to head out real bad, but kept on procrastinating, and I hated myself for it. But it's so worth it if you take it slow one step at a time. Much better during the day than at night. Confidence is too much of a chore to keep up. It just doesn't last. Compassion is more suitable long term since you learn to be more kind to yourself, just like you're probably are to others, and you certainly deserve it.
Take care of your well-being. Keep doing the things you like to do. And sharing when you have the time. Listen to your intuitions; they are more often than not the right ones to express 👍
I identify with what you’ve said. It’s always going to get better tomorrow in my head. I feel my best and more in control when I am actively fighting this illness. Wether it be going out in public even when I don’t want to, or talking to a therapist. I’ve found relief in talking with others who have this struggle. Talk to a doctor about medicine as well.
I am sorry about how you feel! I have felt many of the things you have. It's not easy. I recommend talking to a professional too. Is there someone in your school with whom you can talk? Sometimes you have to do things that are hard to do. Talking with your mother may seem very hard to do. But there are times when we have to force ourselves to do some things that are going to be helpful for us. I am glad you have tried exercise, going out for walks and painting. Some things we have to make them habits. It can be hard to find a professional with whom you feel comfortable and just finding someone can involve a lot of steps. But it is necessary to do things that are going to be helpful for us if we want to feel better. I suffer from depression and it's been many years of the same thing. It's been very hard and the depression doesn't go away. I have been meeting with different professionals and I had to do it because I didn't want things to be worse. Your life matters a lot. You matter a lot. Try to get all the help that you can. Medications can be helpful. You're not going to be on your own if you take medications. You will have a doctor supervising and monitoring the medications. Maybe you won't need them. Maybe therapy will be all you need. The important thing is to seek help. You don't have to suffer alone. And you are not alone. There are many people who are experiencing the same things you are experiencing. Try to get sunlight regularly. I've been told that it helps us. I hope that God blesses you a lot and that you feel a lot better very soon.
Thanku so much 😊😊😊. Such nice responses are really helpful.
I know how you feel I know what it feels like to stop talking to people. And you feel so empty that you just want to give up but I'm telling you that's not the answer. Find something that your compassionate about whether it maybe a dream a goal or a career or a hobby or job you have always dreamed of having. I battle with everything in my head being different having a disability or having a mental illness. I still get up every morning and I push for that something greater to be the best person that I can be. I know it seems like it gets worse everyday but you can do this you can win the fight and rise above of what is going on in your mind. If you need support I am here I know you don't know me but I am whenever you feel like talking.
Thanku so much 😊. This mental illness is affecting everything, not able to work on things I planned, just loosing time. Even if I start doing, I loose the Concentration. But yeah have to fight and will keep doing.
I know that it is not easy to deal with everything you are dealing with. For many years I have suffered from problems with depression and every day is very hard. I hope that you do all that is necessary for you to get better. I hope that God helps you all your life.
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
change takes time though, and it’s hard, but possible. If needed, you can find professional help. Try to keep your mind positive 
Anxiety gets worse at night..
Every 13th of December is a hard day
Every day is a struggle 
Anxiety getting worse
Help haulsinations getting worse
