Just a statement

[bluemiss]

Thanksgiving alone. . . Christmas not looking any better ... If I was not afraid of failing I would take the bottle of pills that I have stashed. Life without my husband is not life. The pills are constantly in the back of my mind.

[Noquarter]

Definitely there is no need in the pills. I don’t know your situation. What else is happening? You can PM me if you like or any of us I’m sure.

[bluemiss in reply to Noquarter]

I feel so alone. I have people around but it's like I don't exist. I lost my husband to illness last Christmas (Dec 26). I am lost in this world without him. Children and grand-children keep check on me but that's for only a minute when they have time in their busy lives. I really am ready to be over with life on this earth.

[Noquarter in reply to bluemiss]

Sent you a PM if you need to talk.

[Hidden in reply to bluemiss]

If you did anything with your tablets, and you passed over how would your Children and Grandchildren feel at their loss.

Can you not visit your family over Christmas. ??

BOB

[goldieoldie in reply to bluemiss]

please talk as much as you like each of us is on this earth for a reason,I can give up ,as family ,havent any understanding ,im over 70 and though I dont like my life need to carry on,dont give up ,do you have grandchildren.

[bluemiss in reply to goldieoldie]

Yes, I have grand-children and great-grandchildren. I love them all but they would not miss me for more than a day or two. I have no reason to get out of bed in the morning-except to feed my cat. At times, I feed him and just return to bed.

[goldieoldie in reply to bluemiss]

Your late husband would not want you to give up either ,I am so sorry for your loss,please dont think children would forget you,have you tried counselling,its not perhaps available but get your name down and phone the samaritans ----they do listen as well as talking on here--you are not alone and im glad you mentioned your cat ,he/she needs you.............Im in the Uk which means we go to bed earlier........you are not alone on this forum,regarding losing someone and it is a huge part of you--no one else would understand fully,unless they were you----its still a huge gap,that does take a lot of time to recover,and maybe just feel better knowing that he is still there --I believe in an afterlife-do you.

[Mijmijkey74]

Constantly in the back of my mind is the thought and urge to hang myself. It never goes away, always there niggling. And certain annual events make the feeling and urge stronger. I haven't got a husband to be without unlike you, have never had one which causes loneliness, unbearable loneliness and don't have happy memories of a husband to look back on. I'm not in the US so not got to deal with thanks giving alone. Just Christmas morning alone with a tree empty underneath and then my birthday not long after completely alone. Nobody to love me or me them on valentines day apart from one year in my life when there was. Mothers day I'm most often forgotten and my parents getting older losing touch with reality all makes me question the point of carrying on living because it is all so sad and heartbreaking. I keep living for my only child, but don't think they are truly bothered if I'm alive or not. They would miss me for a couple of days maybe, then I'd be completely forgotten, and if I were buried my grave would be unattended, become overgrown and forgotten. People only bother atteding graves if the person dead was beautiful or attractive in appearance, or had simething extra special about them or a husband or wife remains. Single people get forgotten if no children/child, or children/child don't care/selfish. Don't take those pills, join some groups, do some things you always wanted to do but never did. Do them alone if must it is likely you will meet new people and make a friend or two for company and help you over the feelings you have. Can you walk? Do you like walking? There are walking groups for single people if you are single now. Cycling groups, art, cooking, sewing, swimming, knitting, craft groups. Do you like animals? Could you become a dog walker or pet sitter or if have a dog of your own join a face to face pet group. There are families who open their homes to people who are alone at thanks giving, christmas to join them and their family for a meal. Please don't take what I'm saying the wrong way especially if you are grieving. I do understand grief, depression, emptyness and loneliness extremely well and it is debilitating and scary. And if you were closeby you would be invited here with my son and I but unfortunately you are not. I hope you have family members helping you through your very difficult time. x