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Anxiety and Depression Support
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It's just one of those days...

My anxiety is through the roof. I feel helpless and hopeless and overall exhausted with my life and who I am.

Any suggestions?

53 Replies
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Go find yourself a psychiatrist who will listen to you and engage you in creating the best treatment plan for your condition. Also be sure you are connected with him/her so you can report back to him any issues or symptoms that still linger.

In the meantime, try to do some soul searching, some self-therapy to figure out the root cause of the anxiety. If you have fears, insecurities, guilt or shame, unresolved issues. That is the fuel that powers anxiety in many people. And the longer these issues remain unresolved, the more likely the symptoms are going to continue to worsen.

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I've tried the psychiatrist route and every time I end up disappointed. I think I just need a fellow sick puppy that really understands depression and still wants to be friends. When you have friends that are 'normal' they don't understand why you don't want to go out, or do anything...it just makes a bad situation worse. Ya know?

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You say you end up disappointed, each time you have taken the psychiatrist route why?

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They drug you up (which is expensive) and it takes weeks to months to figure out the same dosage. I'm impatient and I'm having issues now, not 4 - 6 weeks when the medication 'kicks in'. :/

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You are having issues now probably because 4 to 6 weeks ago you were also impatient, and so on and so forth.

You claim to be exhausted yet too impatient to try to put an end to that which continues to exhaust you.

And by the way, what makes you think that two people, both with mental illness, can be involved in a reasonable relationship? It is a rarity. And you know why?

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Why?

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Two mentally ill minds will likely be too stuck in their own heads to know how to make the relationship work. And the other end of the torture is, each will spend a good portion of their time trying to figure out what the other is thinking, doing, saying, how the other really feels etc. That is how depression works right?

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Gee, I have depression, and I have a great long term decades long husband. Stop trying to put everyone in the same box.

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Was your husband also depressed and or anxious when you first met?

I am not putting everybody in the same box, just simply saying it is a rarity.

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My ex husband had severe depression. It felt like his depression fueled mine... it was toxic.

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There you go making my point.

We may not want to admit it, but it is like bringing in extra baggage into a relationship and we all know how baggage tends to put a real strain on relationships at the end of the day.

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I think it also depends on how supportive people are of each other. I do get your point, but everyone has some "baggage"- it's how we handle it.

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Not that I know of- however, let's remember life itself has ups and downs. Not everyone has a diagnosis- people just deal with whatever life hands them in the best way possible. You mention something is a rarity. You are stating an OPINION - remember that. Even doctors can have different opinions- are you one? Remember this forum is for people to get support and so they can vent safely- not to be labeled or judged.

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I am not labeling anyone. Simply stating that a relationship between two mentally ill individuals such as describe is a rarity. There has in fact been studies that looked into how common that blend can thrive in a relationship and it was shown that those rarely make good matches.

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I get that. I have been on so many medications. And it was exhausting and made me feel like no one could fix me. Right now I'm back at that crossroads and have decided my symptoms are enough that going to see a psychiatrist and giving it a shot again. But I know meds are not for everyone, everyone has their own treatment plan that works for them.

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Oh don't get me wrong, I'm on medication - haha. I've just had to try a lot of different ones before I found a combination that worked.

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um.... that's the idea. You have to try as many as you have to, to find the cocktail that works. It is never a one off. It took me over 5 years to get to where I am today but I stuck it out and happy I did it cause I know and remember so well how horrible it was to live with those debilitating symptoms, and I never ever want to experience any of that ever again.

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I forgot to mention that during those five years, I lost at least 10 jobs too, sampling meds to get me to where I am today.:-)

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You do make a point about unresolved issues- those are the regrets. However, if someone does not get support or experiences distance- it can be difficult in some ways.

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Support is only there to make one feel something for a time... However, the bulk of the healing work to be done will have to be done in the individual's mind.

Growing up, I surrounded myself with people who I believed was my support and they supported me. They helped quiet the voices for a time when they were around me. But at the end of the day, when I am all alone in my room, I was always reminded that that hell is still up there in my head and growing.

I had to cut off from all the so-called support so I could focus on me, myself and I, and finally, tackle all that was wrong in my way of thinking. It was scary but I had at that point made up my mind that it was either I got rid of that or ended it. The decision I had to make and the decision I had to carry out all on my own. Nothing my support could have said or done to make the process easier or better.

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Besides drugs, what about just having someone to talk to? Somethimes people just need someone for listening. The way in the US is drugs! I do not do anything like that.

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Talking to people in this group has done more for me in the last 24 hours than therapy has done for the last five years.

(from what I've seen) the people in this group are supportive and they don't judge you...they get it.

Sick puppies UNITE!!

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How about people who just need a little more support unite!

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I don't know where I picked up the 'sick puppies' thing but the way I interpret it is that we're all here, needing help and support like puppies do. It's not meant to be negative!

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I like that! Also everyone no matter how "strong" needs support.

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I am new to the site and am hoping this will help with my anxiety. Does anyone know of a good treatment center in Annapolis?

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The US has absolutely nothing to do with drugs as you think. There are different kinds of depression. When it has to do with a chemical imbalance, I am not sure how much talk one can do to heal that. So, people are more likely to take drugs in that case.

However, when it is obvious that there are lots of emotional mines behind the anxiety and depression, then it is possible that simply talking to someone might, in fact, be able to convince the person to deal with the problems. Remember, even when a patient goes through talk therapy, the onus remains on the patient to do deal with the emotional issues. Some do, others don't and eventually, the problem deteriorates to point of their needing medicinal intervention.

Other forms of treatment are Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation, ElectroConvulsive Therapy, which those who are brave enough can opt for.

I am currently researching mental health care and it will shock you to know that majority of the study papers I have found on PUBMED were written by UK health professionals, not those on the US side of things. So thinking drugs is all America is completely wrong. I even have one particular study that interviewed people living with mental illness, in the UK, for their perspective on the quality of mental care in NHS run practices.

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Are you in the medical field? Sometimes just having a close knit community is great - it all depends on the situation. I am not in the med field nor the mh field so I cannot comment nor will I.

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You don't need to be in the health field to do research of your own. I am not really in health but I work every now and then jobs in the health sector.

These days anyone can read up on what is happening and comment as well. Pubmed is an open library of study papers that one can access and comment on.

A Close-knit community is great but not everyone wants such, as is apparent with the migration of people around the world to the cities as opposed to remaining in their rural communities. Now there is the economic reasons but that many of them end up making permanent homes in their new urban environments rather than going back to the close-knit communities they came from.

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And now you are not only an expert in the med field, but economics as well? What sort of health provider are you? I mean what area and what country if you want to give that info? You are intellectualizing other people's problems. This is not the forum for that. I suggest that you attend a conference with others in whatever field you practice.

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BTW, if you are in the med field, you should know enough to not diagnose or refer someone you do not know. Even if you are not- just be a good listener. Instead of giving "advice" stop trying to fix someone. They already know they need help. Sometimes people in general forget to listen, and validate and want to "fix" someone as if he/she is a project. If someone just needs a friend for instance, or is feeling overwhelmed more advice/information is not what they need. You as an "expert" should already know that.

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You really need to start paying attention. I don't diagnose people. I simply tell them to go see their doctor for help and more.

In the case that the person states exactly what is bothering them, I make sure to explain to them that medication and therapy do not work on that kind of issues.

What of all that rings of DIAGNOSING or FIXING anyone, to you? Please pay attention!

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Are you a nurse- I mean what area of health care? It is not up to you to tell someone to go to a doctor. This is forum for people to offer support and to relate not to have someone from "above" tell them that they need something. You do not even know anyone here. You need to pay attention! You can stay online and vent your "expertise" , but I will be outside in nature. Bye.

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Are you kidding me? So you see a person who is obviously suffering and crying for help, and you don't think "wait a minute, this person could be best served by an 'expert' and not I who may not have a real understanding of what he/she is dealing with"?

I am afraid my ego is not as big as yours then. I like to defer to the experts rather than waste time whispering sweet nothings in the ears of people who are suffering.

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I would love to have someone to talk to about anxiety issues. Can phone numbers be shared on this site?

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I DO know. Also, pretending that you feel good is exhausting.

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You /we are not "sick puppies." Also what is "normal?" I learned at a NAMI meeting last night ( my first one) to let go of things that are not fixable. It's hard! Remember you/we are not a diagnosis. What do you think is causing this? Is it a bunch of issues, isolation, getting older etc? At any rate we are all human , and all of us have issues. It's just sometimes some issues are bigger than others.

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Fellow sick puppy checking in!

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Hell yeah. Sick puppies UNITE! I think working with someone with depression is really the only thing that could 'fix' depression.

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I totally get that. You want someone who understands it from experience. I'm here to support as much as I can. I am going to a psychiatrist on Monday for hope that some medication may help but I have been down the road before and disappointed, so I can totally see your reluctance in that. My therapist used to suffer with bipolar so she's been a good source of help since she knows both the experience of it and is trained in supporting it as well. So maybe a therapist who has suffered with mental health and come out on the other side might be a help for you! But like I said I am here!

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I am here also. Just curious: Do people with bipolar just have it temporarily?

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No not temporary. Goes in cycles. Usually with you for the long haul!

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So, people take meds for it? Is there a bio basis for it?

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Yes usually antidepressants and mood stabilizers. I am not sure the particulars. I am in a depression stage right now so my brain to give you info on bipolar, info is just not available to me right now. I haven't been to psychiatrist in years. But my symptoms are pretty clear.

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Is it a poor quality of life right now that kickedit in?

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No. If you don't mind I'd rather not be asked questions about what's causing it. I am frustrated and trying to just get through. So I appreciate the attempt to help but it's just not what I need right now.

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I am here if you want to vent, and I have been through years of depression and anxiety.

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And from what I understand, depression does not have to last forever. Glad you are getting support.

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I think the label "sick puppy" is silly. Puppies are awesome. Also , why put yourself in a category? Sometimes, isolation or lack of support are causes. Common sense right?

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Yes puppies are awesome. Just an expression haha. My depression came back out of the blue, I have a ton of support from friends and family. So the cause to why I fall into this is a mystery. I had it under control for the most part over the past couple years, dips here and there but always came out of it. This time not so much. So its not quite clear. The last 3 months I was doing great, was very efficient and felt super clear, and just outright alive, probably along the lines of hypomania (the upcycle of bipolar 2) which I didn't quite realize. So yea I have tried to not go into "figuring out" mode because sometimes it makes me crazy and the answers are not clear. Can be so many things. So just trying to ride it out, get some professional help, and see how I can bounce back and get this to a manageable level.

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Join the club. I do have a good husband and dog, but it's me who I do not always like due to regrets. Also, I have one original family member- my brother. I saw him about a year ago. When I invited him to our place, he said he was busy. I feel like I am the toxic unaccomplished one.

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I go for a walk or a run.. Also getting someone to massage my back during anxiety attack helps.

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You can have a private "chat" with me . I am gogogirl.

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