Hopeless ( if ur foreign you’ll understand)

[MandyBueno]

Hello everyone. Here to get things off my chest. Mainly more about the writing part, I feel better typing and getting things out. With no judgement , no nothing.

Long story short, I came to America to fulfill one of my biggest dream : to live in America for a while. Of course I came legally through a program. In this program you nanny for an American family and in exchange you live with them, they pay you a certain amount of money ( not much, actually, almost nothing) . This program is popular cause getting a nanny in the US can be expensive, and getting an au pair ( girl that comes from another country , bubbly, naive) it’s cheaper .

Here comes the part that I cry out . I’ve nannied for three families already in less than a year. I’ve lived in three different houses in less than a year. Every time, super traumatic. First family didn’t work out cause the mom needed someone with more driving experience ( I didn’t drive much cause I didn’t feel comfortable). Second family, was chaotic, I stayed with them 6 months. 4 kids that treated me like their slave. I was beaten, they called me names “ stupid Amanda!” “ F*** you!” “ I hate you”. The four year old threw a full metal water bottle on my head . I wouldn’t have any sleep cause the parents would fight during the night, I lost count of how many times I woke up in the middle of the night listening to something that sounded like domestic violence. I had to get out of there and I did. In the meantime I met someone special. He helped me with everything, he always had my back and helped me with all the moving. I’m now on my third host family, the mom is a nightmare , but I love her kiddos, she’s got two lovely boys .. she’s pretty picky about some particular things but I always chose to not take anything personal . Yesterday she hit me with discouraging news, she will no longer need me cause her mom is coming to watch over her kids. That means I will be moving again. Packing, unpacking... this messed me up in the head. First thing I did I had a meltdown , told my bf that I had to go through everything again. It’s so humiliating having the person you love carry your stuff around and drop you off in some random houses. Lots of stuff are lost but nothing compares to the damage this program brought me. Firstly, You get attached to the kids and then you move again and again and again. I came to America knowing it would be challenging. That as a foreign people see you differently , they think your clueless, they take advantage of you , they think you are illegal, they think you are inferior . Me and my bf mentioned marriage, but I don’t like the idea of pressuring him. Also he’s making no money in this moment , so marriage right now wouldn’t be a good option. Going back to my country is one of the options but I did wanted to stay , just so I could feel I actually enjoyed my experience and that all the money I spent, all the things I did and sacrificed in order to be here would be worth it, and despite all that, I love this country. But I’m left with frustration again.

People are not toys , you cannot play with them and get bored and then get a new one. But this program has no stability. I’m depressed and hopeless.

[Hidden]

OMG!! You shouldn't be treated that way!! I'm from US and yes some can be that way especially the rich. I hope you will find someplace better and be happy. This sickens me to no end!! Sorry you are treated this way.❤

[Marysblue]

So sorry you had to go through this. I hope things work out. This has been such a difficult year. You are okay, stay strong . Glad you have had someone to be there for you through all these changes.

[Hidden]

Do you have an interest in going to college? There are very good schools in this country. I'm not sure what all you would have to do to remain in the US. I would just hate to see that these families ruined your perception of the US. Do you have an interest that you would lime to study? I think it would be worth a shot in trying college. You'll have a broader perspective of life here. Yes people can treat you badly but not everyone here is like that. I wish you well in your future endeavors.

[FindingTheAnswers]

Sorry for the horrible things you have experience here in the U.S. There a lot of good people here. And we also have plenty that I avoid and don't want anything to do with (and the unpleasant ones are so much easier to find). People/familes are sometimes (often?) chameleons. What they show to the world outside their home is completely different than what goes on behind closed doors.

Some of the people you worked for were probably 'Good Christian' people. But didn't read their Bible or they didn't know or care about 'The Golden Rule'.

Some of those kids you cared for just needed a good A## whipping. But, of course , you can't do that.

You deserve to be treated and talked to like a human being. That's not asking for much as well as it should be automatic or natural. But sometimes, that's hard to find.

I know this post was 7 months ago, and hopefully your work experience has improved (I did read that you were having marital problems. For whatever reason, it seems that sometimes Life gangs up on us)

You deserve good things. You deserve to be happy. You also have to do what's best for you.

I wish good things for you.